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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 20th, 2012


Aries… Your ruling planet, Mars is facing an uprising from the serfs. You will find yourself very uncomfortable after your laundry comes back with too much starch.

Taurus… Venus thinks Scorpio cheated in a game of Go fish. You will soon wake up with a feeling of dread when you discover you’ve become a pound of camembert cheese.

Gemini… A Mutable Mercury is quite clear now. You have permission to frolic in creamed corn with Dennis Miller.

Cancer… Your Zodiac sign has been defaced with graffiti. Rubbing butter on your aardvark will help you both to cope with life’s problems.

Leo… Aquarius is co-tangent to your ruling sun. Consult with a mathematician on this one. It forecasts stochastics in your life.

Scorpio… Taurus is in conjunction with Mars. Take that dead herring out of your glove compartment.

Virgo… There is a negative polarity with Pices now. Once again it’s time to spread strawberry preserves on your jowls.

Libra… Aries is in the seventh house for a Tupperware party. You will be arrested for illegal possession of an anchovy.

Sagittarius…Jupiter is opposite Neptune on your chart. A Congressman will accuse your spleen of treason.

Capricorn… Saturn and Venus are at odds again. You better polish your forehead with Turtle Wax to avoid the fallout.

Aquarius…Uranus and Saturn are both in the seventh house.  You will soon find yourself locked in a Sponge Bob lunchbox.

Pisces… Neptune and Jupiter are plotting against you. Quick! Attend a costume party dressed as an eel.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would haveto be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Yummy!


Here’s something I wrote a few years back. It was an entry for Video Maker Magazine’s, Short Video Contest. It won second prize. Its had quite a few views on YouTube over the years. It’s a spoof of late night TV commercials. Hope you like it.

CAVEAT…It’s not for the faint of heart. Animal lovers may not like it, but it’s part of the circle of life.

I hope this works. I haven’t tried to insert a video link before.

It’s called, “The Roadkill Grill”.

Thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMkXxmAfQaE

No Bull Here!


I have anger issues.

Here doggie, doggie.


Japanese toy maker Bandai has created their version of a Smart dog. The gadget uses a free app to turn your iPhone into a walking, barking puppy. You attach your phone to the dog mechanism, turn on the app and have fun. See it at:

http://www.tvkim.com/watch/1850/kims-picks-japanese-robot-dogs?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=notd&utm_content=2012-03-27-article&utm_campaign=end-h

My take on this is…

A guy with an iPhone got lucky,

He turned it into a cute puppy;

It barks and it walks,

Too bad it can’t talk,

The next thing he wants is a guppy.

 

Dog Problems


I can't stand it when my owner talks down to me.

Not the starving prairie dogs again!


Scruffy, eat your dinner. There are starving prairie dogs in Colorado who would love to have this.

This is for the birds.


No. You're confusing us with that TV famiily from the 70s.

National Pig Day!


It's National Pig Day. I don't know whether to celebrate or hide.

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