Archive for March, 2012
Japanese toy maker Bandai has created their version of a Smart dog. The gadget uses a free app to turn your iPhone into a walking, barking puppy. You attach your phone to the dog mechanism, turn on the app and have fun. See it at:
My take on this is…
A guy with an iPhone got lucky,
He turned it into a cute puppy;
It barks and it walks,
Too bad it can’t talk,
The next thing he wants is a guppy.
A Michigan woman was texting while walking. She fell off a pier into a river. No injuries, except maybe her pride.
Here’s my take on it:
A woman was texting one day,
She did it in her unique way;
She fell off a pier,
The river was near,
Wet butt was the price she did pay.
Aries… You will find love, but it will never pick up a check while dining with you.
Taurus…Brain Teasers will mock you unceasingly this week.
Gemini… Be sure to follow Dr. Oz’s prescriptions to the letter. It could lead you to the Ruby Slippers.
Cancer… If Venus crosses Mars, you shouldn’t walk in another person’s shoes until you first check the soles. Who knows where they’ve been.
Leo… Refer all decisions to your proctologist this week due to a New Moon in your under wear.
Virgo… Before you mix and match your outfit for tomorrow’s important business meeting, be sure to wear those shorts with the red hearts.
Libra… When the moon is in the seventh house, watch for real estate values to drop.
Scorpio… Cosmic Law says Pices should not be intimate with clams next Thursday.
Capricorn… Watch out where you sit today. The sun’s juxtaposition with Saturn indicates suppositories will definitely enter your life.
Aquarius… Don’t bother to search your soul for your destiny. It’s hiding in your closet under that pile of trash bags you haven’t thrown out.
Pisces…Your Venus is in Taurus. And you thought it just went to the drug store for some Kold-EEEZ.
Nokia is developing a tattoo ink that can sense when your phone is ringing and cause your skin to vibrate. The technology would require a minor surgical procedure.
My take on that…
A guy got a tat on his arm,
It’s a phone app that sounds an alarm;
When his phone starts to ring,
It vibrates that thing,
It’s one of technology’s charms.
Aries… The world at large will soon discover you wear months of the year underwear.
Taurus… You will closely follow your Sun Sign, so be sure to wear a high numbered SPF cream.
Gemini…Run! Hide! Your local loan shark just got your new address after you posted it on Facebook.
Cancer… Stay close to the restrooms. That chocolate candy bar you stole from a co-worker’s lunch bag was laced with a potent laxative.
Leo …Heads up. Someone wants to slap you in your Facebook.
Virgo… Your desire to be chauffeured around will be fulfilled when you ride in the back of a police car.
Libra… Ready for a life changing event? You better be. Your karma will run of gas the day you leave your wallet at home.
Scorpio… Your local entomologist is going to bug you.
Sagittarius… It’s in the stars. The patent application for your toe jam processing machine will be denied.
Capricorn… Buy lots of tissues. The moon in Pices has the flu. Its lunar nodes will be running all night.
Aquarius… Your cusp with Virgo indicates if you add insult to injury you should be ready for a hefty sales tax.
Pisces….You will have a great following in life, (mostly from felines) until you take the fish out of your pants.
*Remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, Your Horoscope For Today:
“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”
St. Patrick’s Day’s finally here,
It only comes round once a year;
We wear all the green,
It’s a wonderful scene,
We celebrate with cold green beer.