The US Congress has introduced a bill which will require black boxes in vehicles. If it passes all vehicles made in the U.S. will have the recorders installed. The government will be able to see where we go, and how we drive our vehicles.
Talk about an invasion of privacy.
Hmmm…
U.S. cars may all get a black box,
The government will make the box talk;
It will tell where we’ve been,
Again and again,
An intrusion worse than the Small Pox.
The International Space Station has docked with the SpaceX Dragon. It’s the first commercial spacecraft to dock with the ISS. The craft is designed to bring supplies to the Station. Dragon is a free-flying, reusable spacecraft being developed by SpaceX under NASA’s Commercial Orbital Transportation Services (COTS).
Hmmm…
The ISS docked with the Dragon,
It’s a delivery wagon;
It brings up supplies,
For the girls and the guys,
They might even get a nice flagon.
Aries… Mars was in transit with the moon, but was thrown off the bus for being rowdy. You will be locked in a dungeon with an insurance salesman for an entire weekend.
Taurus…Venus is aligned with the opposition over Congressional Redistricting. A pot bellied pig will leave cracker crumbs in your bed.
Gemini… The Twins in your sign are feuding again over who was born first. Your plans for converting New Schwanstein Castle into a theme park ride will fail.
Cancer… The crab is misaligned with Jupiter’s moon. Your enemies are on to you. To throw them off track, you must bathe in a vat of sangria with Dennis Miller.
Leo… Aquarius is leaving its fourth house and will miss its neighbors. Stop seeing that hypnotist. The ostrich eggs you’ve been sitting on will never hatch.
Virgo… The sun is trine with Neptune. You will be thrown out of a movie theater for petting a wedge of provolone cheese.
Libra…Saturn is in legal trouble with Mercury over a missing ring. A Steam Punker will steal your identity for immoral purposes.
Scorpio… Mars is in line with Neptune for a showing of My Fair Lady. Be extra careful now. You are being stalked by an aardvark.
Sagittarius…Your ruling planet, Jupiter is in its ninth house. To be safe this week, you must use the word “jowls” in every sentence spoken.
Capricorn… Saturn is in opposition to Cancer over a game of hopscotch. You will find yourself absentmindedly fondling Crenshaw melons at a local super market.
Aquarius… Uranus and Saturn are in sync. Have dinner in your underwear with a gerbil.
Pisces…Neptune now rules the seventh house with an iron fist. You must buy someone’s appendix as soon as possible.
And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:
“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”
There is new wallpaper coming that has particles specially designed to keep Wi-Fi signals from escaping your house. It’s scheduled to go on sale sometime in 2013.
Hmmm….
Wallpaper can block all Wi-Fi,
It sounds like a wonderful buy;
The signal is blocked,
Security is locked,
I think it is something to try.
Aries… Your ruling planet, Mars is facing an uprising from the serfs. You will find yourself very uncomfortable after your laundry comes back with too much starch.
Taurus… Venus thinks Scorpio cheated in a game of Go fish. You will soon wake up with a feeling of dread when you discover you’ve become a pound of camembert cheese.
Gemini… A Mutable Mercury is quite clear now. You have permission to frolic in creamed corn with Dennis Miller.
Cancer… Your Zodiac sign has been defaced with graffiti. Rubbing butter on your aardvark will help you both to cope with life’s problems.
Leo… Aquarius is co-tangent to your ruling sun. Consult with a mathematician on this one. It forecasts stochastics in your life.
Scorpio… Taurus is in conjunction with Mars. Take that dead herring out of your glove compartment.
Virgo… There is a negative polarity with Pices now. Once again it’s time to spread strawberry preserves on your jowls.
Libra… Aries is in the seventh house for a Tupperware party. You will be arrested for illegal possession of an anchovy.
Sagittarius…Jupiter is opposite Neptune on your chart. A Congressman will accuse your spleen of treason.
Capricorn… Saturn and Venus are at odds again. You better polish your forehead with Turtle Wax to avoid the fallout.
Aquarius…Uranus and Saturn are both in the seventh house. You will soon find yourself locked in a Sponge Bob lunchbox.
Pisces… Neptune and Jupiter are plotting against you. Quick! Attend a costume party dressed as an eel.
And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:
“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would haveto be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”
How about this…
There’s a USB drive with an new twist on a hot, old idea. The stick can be sealed with an emblem made of wax. It verifies the data has not been opened by anyone since being sealed.
Who knows, maybe you will be able to make crayons with the seals afterwards. Imagine if the wax came in various scents? Maybe even flavored, for the wax chewers out there. You know who you are.
Hmmm… Should I wax poetic?
My flash drive now has a wax seal,
To insure what’s inside’s really real;
It’s easy to use,
No bolts or no screws,
For me it has lots of appeal.
Here’s something I wrote a few years back. It was an entry for Video Maker Magazine’s, Short Video Contest. It won second prize. Its had quite a few views on YouTube over the years. It’s a spoof of late night TV commercials. Hope you like it.
CAVEAT…It’s not for the faint of heart. Animal lovers may not like it, but it’s part of the circle of life.
I hope this works. I haven’t tried to insert a video link before.
It’s called, “The Roadkill Grill”.
Thanks.
In a paper published in April, University of Glasgow scientists theorize in the future, 3D printers could be used to create customized drugs and chemicals for various medical conditions including cancer. The printer can make organic and inorganic compounds.
The researchers believe the method could be used by drug companies within the next five years to make customized medicines. It may be available to the public in 20 years.
Maybe by then, drugs can be made for each of us based on our individual chemical and biological factors.
A printer that prints in 3D,
Can make drugs for you and for me,
It can make any kind,
For the body or mind,
Oh how happy we all will soon be.
This is a ode to all mothers,
Not fathers, daughters or brothers;
Mom’s are the best,
They just never rest,
We love them not any others!
Humorous Interludes by Ron Yarosh 
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