Well this week hosts one of our favorite specials days.
Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.
According to Random Facts, “The term “love” is from the Sanskrit lubhyati, meaning “desire.” http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/08/04_love.html
They also report, “The enduring symbol of love, Cupid (or Eros) is said to have come from Chaos (“The Yawning Void”) and represents the primitive forces of love and desire.”
After an exhaustive search, we determined that there are between thirty and three thousand songs with the word “love” in the title.
We know, that’s a bit vague, but love tends to be that way sometimes.
If someone knows the exact number, feel free to post it.
So, just for you, the planets aligned themselves in the exact order to provide you with personal predictions of love.
You’ve probably heard of the saying, “Love makes the world go round”.
We are here to help you find satisfaction in your pursuit of love this week.
Isn’t love great?
Aries… You will awaken to discover that you beloved beta fish has left you for a neon tetra.
Taurus… You may think you love that zombie, but you are dead wrong.
Gemini… Your love for a dust mite is fine, but don’t expect it to pick up the check when dining out.
Cancer… Calling you lover a pet name is nice, but you should reconsider the name, Fido.
Leo…. You will be trapped in a love triangle with two Game Wardens.
Virgo… You will be attracted to a lion tamer, a computer gamer and a constant blamer.
Libra… Your family will be stunned to discover that your new lover is a jelly fish.
Scorpio… Remember this. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Sagittarius… Your confusion over who to choose as a love interest may not be obvious to you, but it’s quite clear to us when our choices are either Dennis Miller or a serial killer.
Capricorn… You will be gambling with love if you keep seeing that blackjack dealer.
Aquarius… Just because you are interested marathon races doesn’t mean your love interest wants to run off with you.
Pisces… Think about it. Are you really sure you want to marry a parasite?
And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:
“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”
Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.