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Archive for May, 2013

Biggest Business Building Being Built


Right now, Sky City is just an empty lot in Changsha City, China. In 90 days, it will host the construction of the tallest building on the planet!

Using prefabricated floors, it will reach a full height of 2,749 feet and could be open by January, 2014.

See more at: http://videos.komando.com/watch/3360/kims-picks-worlds-tallest-structure-built-in-90-days?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=notd&utm_content=2013-05-30-article_2-cta#sthash.oZvtL0hp.dpuf

Let’s see…

As of now, I can’t find any information about the exact use of the new colossal structure.

Are they doing it just to boast that they have the world’s tallest building?

That won’t last long. Someone will come along and build a higher one even if it’s a foot taller just to hold the record.

I did a little figuring with my 1960’s slide rule and came up with some startling results.

Don’t hold me to these numbers since the slide rule is old and most of the numbers have worn off.

Anyway, here goes:

If my calculation are correct, it could hold 15,600,320 tons of oriental rice, 8,590,333; boxes of frozen pea pods, 137,100,257 fortune cookies, 14, 333,678, 221 bottles of soy sauce, 998,603,331 gallons of General Chang’s hot szechuan sauce, and enough woks to supply the planet for the next century.

And there would be room to store all the Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan movies ever made and still have enough floor space for a massage parlor.

It could also hold enough fireworks for 18,324,411 average holiday displays.

On the other hand, it could also house a total of 13,438,238,119 chop sticks. I guess someone will only get one chop stick. Too bad.

The cement used could build 767,217 Chinese sit-down restaurants, or 3,157, 290 take out places.

Aren’t slide rules wonderful?

I wonder why people don’t use them anymore.

Cheers!

Hmmm…

The Chinese are building it bigger,

Using millions of people with diggers;

The place will be tall,

Making others look small,

They’re doing it with lots of vigor.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Your HORROR – scope for the week of May 26th, 2013


Something very unusual has happened in the Celestial Sphere this week. Pisces, the sign of the fish rules the sky.

This makes for a wave of rather unusual ichthyological predictions.

Believe us. We are not trying to bait you. But, you might just get hooked on this weeks predictions.

Seize the moment, but scale down your activities.

Don’t let this week make you crabby.

Don’t get caught off guard.

Aries… Uranus is on vacation fishing at the moment. You will be groped in the groin by a grouper from Galapagos.

Taurus…The Earth is teaming with snorkelers right now. You will not be wise to hitch your wagon to a star fish, or Dennis Miller.

Gemini… Neptune is on a cruise this week. You will cuddle up on the couch with a cute cuttlefish.

Cancer… Saturn is having a ring job this week. You may think it’s a good idea, but we warn you against putting a moray eel in your underwear.

Leo… Venus is water skiing this week. You will find yourself discussing music with a tuna who’s out of tune.

Virgo… Mars is boiling at the moment because it can’t expand its orbit. A sea cucumber will try to make a salad out of you.

Libra… Mercury is learning how to fly fish this week. You will have a devil of a time with a mischievous angle fish.

Scorpio… The moon is set to affect tides in a big way this week. You will join a choral group comprised of colorful coral.

Sagittarius… Pluto is upset because it can’t get a fishing license due to its demotion from planet status. You will be forced to perform surgery on a spiny lobster.

Capricorn… The Sun is warming up the Earth’s seas now. You will be willfully walloped by a roving group of scallops.

Aquarius… Jupiter is looking to rent a fishing boat now. You will be charmed by a slippery sea snake.

Pisces…Uranus is on holiday at the moment. A perky parrot fish will mock you mercilessly.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

Your HORROR – scope for the week of May 19th, 2013


This week, the celestial bodies have revealed a pattern which frankly frightens us. In fact we may have developed a phobia over their relationships.

Of course, their positions in the Celestial Sphere directly affect your lives in frightful ways.

Don’t panic.

Your immediate future reveals a temporary condition.

It will be over before you know it—or not.

Be prepared.

Here goes.

Aries… Saturn is descending now at a great speed and it feels great. We hope you like late night TV. You will suddenly develop a fear of sleeping.

Taurus… The Moon is in its first quarter. That’s small change. Your sudden fear of air will take your breath away.

Gemini… Neptune is trine with Pluto at the moment. Try not to travel this week. You must first come to grips with your fear of luggage.

Cancer… The Earth is in its seventh house again getting ready for new tenants. Have a broom handy this week. There will be a web of mystery over your sudden fear of spiders.

Leo… Venus is on the cusp of Saturn. You may wish you never learned how to spell. You will fear all things with vowels in their names.

Virgo… Mars is at its perigee now. Please don’t  go postal. There will be no way to stamp out your fear of mail.

Libra… Uranus is square with the Sun. Keep a low profile this week. Your fear of heights will prevent you from attending basketball games.

Scorpio… Mercury is in retrograde at the moment. Try to keep dry this week. Your life will be awash in fear after you develop a phobia of plumbing.

Sagittarius… Jupiter is on the cusp with Neptune now. Avoid all Ring Masters this week. Your life will become a circus after you develop a fear of clowns.

Capricorn… Pluto is trine with Neptune now. You must sit this week out. Your life will come to a temporary stand still when you discover your fear of feet.

Aquarius… The sun has just released three solar flares. Find a cave immediately. You will have a desire to become a hermit when you begin to fear conversation, especially with Dennis Miller.

Pisces…Saturn is descending at the moment. Your mobility will be curtailed when you suddenly develop a fear of floors.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

Super Site Sells Salvia


According to Business Insider…

Amazon Is Selling Bongs, Nitrous Oxide, And Deadly Hallucinogenic Drugs.

Lethal ‘legal highs’ including a substance said to be ‘more powerful than LSD’ are being sold on Amazon.

Although other online shopping sites such as eBay do not allow legal highs or drugs equipment to be sold on its site, Amazon is selling salvia, nitrous oxide and poppers, along with drug pipes, bongs and scales.

Maryon Stewart, whose daughter Hester, a medical student, died after taking the party drug GBL, wrote to Amazon last month asking it to withdraw the products. She has had no response from the company.

She told The Daily Mail: “It is utterly irresponsible that Amazon is selling this stuff and tantamount to an endorsement. Amazon is a trusted brand and if it is selling something, it is likely to mislead young people into believing it’s safe. We all know these products are not safe and people taking them are playing Russian roulette with their lives and mental well-being.”

Salvia, a species of sage that is also a powerful hallucinogenic herb, is being sold on the online shopping site by a firm called John Strong Supplies. The company cites press articles describing the herb as, “more powerful than LSD, and legal”.

The disclaimer says the herb is a “herbal incense for the home”, but customer reviews point to it its use as a drug.

Drug experts have warned salvia can trigger psychotic episodes.

A spokesman for Amazon said: “All sellers on Amazon Marketplace must adhere to our guidelines in relation to the products that they make available for sale on our web site, and we use a variety of methods to ensure compliance.

“We act quickly to remove any items that contravene our guidelines and take appropriate action with the seller in question.”

Read more at:  http://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-is-selling-bongs-nitrous-oxide-and-hallucinogenic-drugs-2013-5

Hmmm…

Amazon now sells a bong,

To some people that’s quite wrong.

Salvia it sells,

That’s raising much hell,

There’s N2O for a song.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Softpedia Says Scary Spam Scams


According to Softpedia, another IRS malware campaign has been spotted in the wild and even though the message is new, the way it functions remains the same.

Unsuspecting victims receive an email which seems to come from the much feared U.S institution, The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), with the subject, “Federal Tax Report”.

It contains a message that reads something like, “There are arrears reckoned on your account over a period of 2010-2011 year.”

It continues, “You will find all calculations according to your financial debt, enclosed. Sincerely, IRS.”

More information about this news item can be found at: 

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Federal-Tax-Report-Emails-Spread-IRS-Malware-225611.shtml

Hmmm…

Some malware is going around,

In IRS emails it’s found.

It says you owe money,

Now that’s just not funny,

Scams like this really abound.

 

Don’t answer the spam when it comes,

Or you just might send in large sums.

Delete it in haste,

So your cash you won’t waste,

Keep it out of the hands of those bums.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Your HORROR – scope for the week of May 12th, 2013


After a thorough bout of research into the celestial sphere, we have determined that the planets have arranged themselves in a most peculiar order.

This week, they suggest your involvement with a pet of one sort or another.

Once again, we advise you to be cautious and alert at all times.

Enjoy.

Aries… Saturn is rising at the moment. You will never get your point across until you sleep with a porcupine.

Taurus…Uranus is trine with Mars. You will purchase a Siamese cat which will get so fat you will have to send it to Thigh-Land.

Gemini… Mercury is in apogee now. Your flying squirrel is not lost. It’s just awaiting landing clearance from the FAA.

Cancer… Pluto is on the cusp with Venus. That chipmunk you admire has a secret desire to be a Chippendale Dancer.

Leo… The Earth is square with the Sun. Be on the alert. A tarantula wants to entangle you in a web of intrigue involving Dennis Miller.

Virgo… Mars is in its seventh house now. If you buy that pet rat it, will soon have you running through mazes.

Libra… The Moon is a waxing crescent now. If you get that ferret it will find a fortune and run off with a squirrel.

Scorpio…Jupiter is receding at this time. Be cautious, a rat snake wants to snitch on you.

Sagittarius… Venus is in its fourth house at the moment. Your desire to have your newly rescued greyhound drive a bus is nonsense.

Capricorn… Neptune is in retrograde at the moment. Stop feeding your bird dog Cuttlebones. It’s starting to molt.

Aquarius… Pluto is on the cusp with Venus. We think hiring a surveyor to measure your gerbil trail is going a bit too far.

Pisces…The Sun is getting ready for some hot activity. You shouldn’t sleep with a horse. Every time it whinny’s it will make a poo.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

Dangerous Decibels Damaging Drums


Another recent study shows that the high decibel level of music heard using headphones could cause permanent damage to your hearing.

You may be losing your hearing and not even know it!

And, damaged hearing is generally non reversible.

A hearing aid cannot replicate sounds like your natural ear can.

When your hearing is gone, it’s gone forever.

Hmmm…

Ear buds can be ruining your hearing,

It’s something that you should be fearing;

Here’s something to know,

Keep the volume quite low,

Or your hearing will not be endearing.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Your HORROR – scope for the week of May 5th, 2013


Our analysis of the stars in the Celestial Sky bugged us this week.

We couldn’t figure it out at first.

Suddenly, it hit us like a bug hitting the windshield of a speeding car.

The planets are aligned just right to indicate future happenings in the insect world.

Oddly enough, they relate to you in various ways.

We hope you aren’t allergic to any type of insect.

We also hope you do not suffer from any kind of insect phobias.

Good luck, and try not to scratch too much. You could get an infection. 

Aries… Mercury is cooling now. Your ant colony will suddenly demand statehood.

Taurus… Saturn is in its apogee at this time. Your praying mantis is actually an atheist.

Gemini… Venus is trine with the Moon now. You will awaken to find that a nest of carpenter ants have built an addition to your dwelling.

Cancer… Neptune is square with Mercury. You will dial 911 and ask for a Dalmatian when you sit on a Fire Ant mound.

Leo… The Moon is getting smaller in the night sky. You will be smitten by the scent of a centipede.

Virgo… The Earth is rising now. You will be poked in the ribs by a rain forest stick bug.

Libra… Pluto is trine with the rising Earth. Your stink bug, and Dennis Miller, will embarrass you in public gatherings.

Scorpio… Jupiter is declining at the moment. You will witness the execution of killer bees.

Sagittarius… Mars is its perigee now. You will elope with a locust, but your relationship will only last for seven years.

Capricorn… Uranus is in its seventh house. You will be proud when your cricket is asked to join a local Cricket Club.

Aquarius… Neptune is square with Mercury and is rising now. You will have the winning bid at an auction for a Carmen Miranda hat, only to find it is full of fruit flies.

Pisces…Saturn is trine with itself. You will tell your family of your desire to marry an earwig, but they will say they never heard of such a thing.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

Another Thanks To All of You…


Once again, I want to thank all of you wonderful followers of Humorous Interludes, as well as those who drop in now and then to see what’s going on.

The best of everything to all of you…

Ron

A high five and a haiku for you…

A short note of thanks

For all of your great support

Life is very good.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Alert Aussies Arrest Aggressive Attacker


Good news everybody!

Australian Federal Police have arrested the self-proclaimed leader of the international hacking group, LulzSec. It’s the collective that claimed responsibility for infiltrating and shutting down the CIA website.

Police reported the 24 year old IT worker was arrested in Sydney and charged with hacking crimes which could earn him 10 years in prison.

Police said the man was arrested at his work place where he had access to “sensitive information from clients including government agencies.”

LulzSec is an offshoot of the international hacking group, Anonymous. It has taken credit for hacking attacks on government and private sector computers including the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), Sony Pictures, 20th Century Fox Studios, and Nintendo.

The two cyber hacking groups became notorious in late 2010 when they launched what they called the “first cyber war” in retaliation for attempts to shut down the Wiki leaks website.

The name LulzSec is a combination of “lulz” which is apparently another way of writing lols, and the word security.

You can learn more at this web site:

http://www.nbcnews.com/technology/technolog/lulzsec-leader-arrested-australian-cops-say-6C9576130

 Hmmm…. 

They caught a mighty big hacker,

He wasn’t your everyday slacker;

He made cyber war,

But not anymore,

He’s now one jailed attacker.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

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