Gas Gadget Gives Glorious Gazings
LOS GATOS, CA—
According to the Onion, “Netflix unveiled its brand-new fume-based streaming service Monday, finally allowing its nearly 26 million worldwide subscribers to instantly inhale multiple seasons of their favorite television shows in just one sitting, company sources confirmed.”
“With Netflix Gas, we’re really hoping to tap into a demographic that’s a little more fast-paced, a little more on-the-go, and that just wants to sit down whenever they have the chance and breathe in three or four seasons of, say, Fringe in less than 10 seconds,” said company spokesperson Brian Cohn.
“The new service is $11.99 per month and comes with a complimentary Entertainment Mask that fits comfortably over users’ mouths and—via a combination of nitrous oxide, vaporized ether, and the gaseous state of the entire series of Sports Night—allows them to transmit all 45 episodes of the show directly into their bloodstreams and into their brains.”
“Frankly, we think this distribution model is going to be the future of how Americans watch television.” Reports indicate that the media company has already approached director Sam Mendes to create an original drama series based on the life of Al Capone solely for Netflix Gas.”
A season of TV in gas?
Getting caught up with the past;
You breath TV in,
And sit with a grin,
I think it’s something I’ll pass.
A whole season in just a whiff,
Can TV be something you sniff?
You sit in a chair,
And breath in the air,
You can have “Fringe” in a jiff!
Netflix has got this new deal,
To me it doesn’t seem real;
Twelve shows right away,
Instead of a day,
To some it will have great appeal.
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© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.