According to sources, local fussy eater Bryan Wilcox, who is known for refusing to eat any type of food he hasn’t tried before or that falls outside of his narrow zone of comfort, is 38 years old.
“Can I just get it plain, without sauce?” asked the adult man, who was born in 1975, has a 401k, a spouse, and two young children, yet frowns and shakes his head at the sight of shellfish, most varieties of vegetable, or any sandwich that hasn’t first had its crust removed. “Is it touching tomatoes? I don’t want it if it’s touching tomatoes.”
Sources later confirmed that Wilcox, a fully grown human, just pushed his food around his plate until he got to have dessert.
This guy is fussy over food,
I guess he’s never in the mood.
He’ll cannot touch a vegetable,
Even to be sociable.
A sandwich hasn’t passed his lips,
Forget about the sirloin tips.
Tomatoes aren’t on his list,
I’m sure by now you get my gist.
Shellfish makes him very picky,
To him I guess they’re truly icky.
He pushes food around his plate,
To him the fare is just not great.
But when it comes to sweet dessert,
“I love this!” he will quickly blurt.
He drives his wife and kids insane,
To them this man is quite inane.
© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
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