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Archive for August, 2014

Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Aug. 31st, 2014


astrology

 

 

Hello friends of the unknown and unexpected.

Another week has flown by at supersonic speeds.

It’s time for another round of predictions for your enjoyment and wonder.

This week they range from toffee to gingerbread, and bunnies to bugs.

We hope you can make it through the week after you learn what’s in store for you.

Here we go…

Aries… Neptune is in its fifth house making arrangements for card party. Be cautious. You will either eat sticky, sloppy toffee, or spill some hot coffee in your lap. It could go either way. In any case, a stain will result.

Taurus… Mercury is rising steadily now, but at a snails pace in space. Use caution. In the future, you will slam your knee into a fireplug, or get bit by a nasty bug. Either way you’re in for some awful pain.

Gemini… The Earth is in its seventh house cooking dinner for some friends. This may sound cliché, but one day, you will take a long walk down a short pier then peer into a beer for a little cheer.

Cancer… Mars is on the cusp of Cancer at the moment. In the future, your sworn enemies will manipulate you. Then they will call you a fraud. Afterwards, they’ll stick you with a cattle prod, one by one. Ouch! Then again, they may force you to listen to The Dennis Miller radio show.

Leo…The Sun is in transit now looking for some shade. In the not too distant future, you will fall in love with the scent of skunk. You will become rich and famous when you turn that smell into cologne. Veterinarians and politicians will especially love it. But your friends and family will avoid you.

Virgo… Neptune is on the cusp of Virgo at this time. In the future, you will earn a fist full of money for doing something funny with a crazy bunny and some sticky honey. Or, you might get arrested for animal cruelty. Either way, fur will fly.

Libra… Mercury is in its second house dusting its chotskies. Be careful with whom you associate. Your enemies want to throw you into a pit of shame.

Scorpio… Venus is trine with Scorpio at the moment. We have good news and maybe some bad news. Be sure to step gingerly. In the future, you will eat some gingerbread or trip and fall on a gingerbread house. It could go either way. In any case, you will make a small child unhappy.

Sagittarius…The Moon is in its third house mooning Sagittarians. You certainly are a clever one. In the distant future, you will become extremely greedy. Then you will break a treaty with someone’s sweetie using only graffiti.

Capricorn… Saturn is square with Capricorn now. In the future, you will mistakenly bring catnip and kitty litter to a catfish dinner. The smell will be awful. Your friends will remind you to bring fresh litter if you are ever invited there again.

Aquarius… Jupiter is in its sixth house washing the floors. Be on extra high alert. Your enemies are planning to shoot you out of a canon into Never Never Land or Dennis Miller’s backyard depending on their aim.

Pisces… Pluto is in its fifth house building a doghouse for itself. In the future, you will have a devil of a time making snow angels.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Bard’s Behavior Befuddling


shakespear play

 

Shakespeare could have been depressed when he wrote his finest and most puzzling works, the actor Simon Russell Beale has suggested, as he examines what inspired the playwright’s “torrent of bile” during a “bad patch”.

Russell Beale, the acclaimed stage actor, said two of Shakespeare’s plays are so extraordinary they must have signalled a darkness in his personal life.

Suggesting Timon of Athens and King Lear are so “savage” they must have been written during a “bad patch”, the actor argues Shakespeare may have “temporarily lost faith in human nature.”

Russell Beale has now examined the First Folio as part of a new BBC Four series, The Secret Life of Books.

Speaking of Timon of Athens, which some believe is unfinished, he said: “To my inexpert eye it looks potentially like rather a good play, but it must have been very depressing to write, “It’s as if Shakespeare can’t stop this flow of invective and bile, like a nervous tic. So perhaps, I’m suggesting, he himself was depressed. He temporarily lost faith in human nature.”

The actor, who has recently played Lear at the National Theatre, added even that play shows the “savage rewriting” of the ending, to kill off key characters and “obliterate a happy ending entirely”.

Comparing the early “quarto” version of the play with the later publication of the First Folio, he noted changes in the play he believes reflected a darkening of mood. “He deliberately changes the end, it seems to me the most savage rewriting of a source material that I can think of,” he said. I wonder if he was going through a bad patch. I know it’s a dangerous game to play, but I can’t believe you do something so violent to your source material as that without a personal investment of some kind.”

Sam Mendes, who directed Russell Beale in King Lear, added the material contains “shocking violence” and was a “truly dark play”.

Professor Sonia Massai, from King’s College London, told Russell Beale it was sensible to consider what was happening in Shakespeare’s life at the time he was writing. “It would be foolish to assume that there is no connection between biography and art,” she told him. “It’s not wise to think of Shakespeare as someone who would write in a kind of disembodied sort of fashion, as if he didn’t belong to a place and a time and a family group and friends and fellow actors, and would be unaffected by what happened around him.”

Examining Timon of Athens, which appears in the First Folio despite appearing incomplete, Russell Beale called it a “real puzzle”. “It’s a play I’ve very fond of but it’s a mess, famously,” he said. “Not printed before the First Folio, Timon of Athens is a profoundly ugly morality tales out foolishness, ingratitude and bad faith. The writing is vital, full -throated. But Timon of Athens is almost impossible to play because Timon’s torrent of bile goes on for what seems like an eternity. So what we have here, although it might look finished, is, I think, a draft. So why is it unfinished? What went wrong?”

He added: “I’ve never been able to convince myself that it’s unrelieved darkness is caused by anything as innocent as a lack of inspiration.”

Sir Nicholas Hytner, the artistic director of the National Theatre, agreed the play “doesn’t fit together”, but warned recent scholarship appeared to show it was written with a collaborator rather just reflecting Shakespeare’s inner turmoil. “At one stage, it was thought it was so fragmented because it reflected something of Shakespeare’s inner life, that he must have been undergoing a nervous breakdown,” he said. “More recent scholarship, pretty comprehensively, has established that it was a collaboration between Shakespeare and Middleton. It feels like somebody, maybe the two writers themselves or maybe the rest of the company, said this isn’t working.”

Story found@

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/william-shakespeare/11054284/Shakespeare-could-have-been-depressed-when-he-wrote-Timon-of-Athens-Simon-Russell-Beale-says.html

Hmmm…

Was Shakespeare really depressed,

Or just a bit over stressed,

When he was put to the test,

And wrote some of his best?

 

He wrote a “torrent of bile”,

Which didn’t bring much of a smile,

It was a change of his style,

Which lasted for a short while.

 

Was Shakespeare in a dark mood?

Yes, some modern scholars conclude,

When his great works are reviewed,

Or, was The Bard being shrewd?

 

Did life cause a heavy heart,

When practicing his fine art?

Or was he just being smart?

Can life and art be apart?

 

These questions have been raised,

About Shakespeare’s great plays,

For which he has been praised,

Right up to present days.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Aug. 24th, 2014


Welcome fellow star gazers.

Here’s this weeks potful of portends.

We hope you enjoy them.

Pay attention, and be alert.

The stars can be fickle at times.

Enjoy…

Aries… Pluto is in its fifth house waiting for a realtor. In the future, you will become part of the brain drain after you enemies get hold of you.

Taurus… Uranus is trine with Taurus at the moment. That’s not too good. In the not too distant future you will have wandering eyes. They will wander into the desert and get sun blinded for a long time.

Gemini… The Earth is trine with Gemini now. In the not long from now e you will travel miles and miles to meet a man named Miles.

Cancer… Mars is in opposition to Cancer now and that is foreboding. In the future, your bladder will act up. As punishment, you’ll send it to it’s room without supper to listen to Dennis Miller.

Leo… The Sun is square with Leo now. This means travel for you. In the distant future, you will have a brief encounter with a brief case in a briefing room while wearing nothing but briefs.

Virgo… Saturn is descending and dissenting at this moment. In the future, you will unsuccessfully try to attach yourself to a corset, or a cerebral cortex. It could go either way, and it won’t be pleasant.

Libra… Mars is in its second house cooking dinner for Uranus. This portends a musical endeavor. Therefore, in the future, you will mistakenly try to use poultry drum sticks on your ear drums.

Scorpio… The Moon is in its eighth house having a rummage sale. You may get weak in the knees over this. In the future, you will kick yourself for not getting knee braces when you had the opportunity.

Sagittarius… Neptune is trine with Sagittarius at this time. In the future, you will suffer from a short spasm of arrhythmia just after taking a music lesson.

Capricorn… Jupiter is aligned with Mars again and is happy about it. In the distant future, you will hire a building contractor in an attempt to improve your poor sentence structure.

Aquarius… Venus is on the cusp of Aquarius at this time. In the future something will amaze you, making your jaw drop. It will then roll under a large, heavy couch and it will be difficult to retrieve it. You will talk funny for a while afterwards.

Pisces… Mercury is in its third house having the roof inspected. You will awaken one morning to find that when you speak, you sound exactly like President Richard Nixon when he reached puberty.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Aug. 17th, 2014


astrology

 

Here we are once again dear friends.

We at HORROR-Scope Central have been working diligently on your predictions for the coming week.

They range from snakes to sizzle.

We hope they won’t HORRIFY you too much.

Then again, it’s all in the stars.

As you know, we have no control over that.

Enjoy…

 

Aries… Uranus is descending now at a great rate of speed. That’s actually good for you. In theory, this prediction is purely musical theory. In the future, you will write a bestseller called, “Tintinnabulation For Fun And Profit”.

Taurus… Mercury is on the run to avoid apprehension for undetermined space crimes. The Big Band Theory?  In the not too distant future, you will be asked to bring some dynamite to the opening of a new blast furnace.

Gemini… Saturn is busy polishing its rings again. Get ready for some excitement in your life. In the future, you will soon meet an old geezer, or see an old geyser. Either way you’re going to get wet.

Cancer… Neptune is getting ready for a card party in its seventh house. Let’s get ready to rumble. In the future, you will become a dare devil. But, if you’re not very, very careful, you will become a dare angel.

Leo… Pluto is in court right now over a law suit. Woof, woof. You soon will awaken to find that you are the target of Dog, The Bounty Hunter for abusing fleas.

Virgo… The Earth is on the cusp of Virgo and loving it. Size does matter. You will soon begin work at a shoe store. Big Foot will come in and start destroying the place because they don’t carry his size.

Libra… The Moon is square with Libra at this time, but wishes it were trine. This could be venomous. Not long from now, you will awaken to find yourself wearing snake boots made of live cobras.

Scorpio… Mars is in retrograde now and is falling behind in its orbit. Get ready for a law suit from SPCA. In the not too distant future, you will slip on a banana peel and fall on a monkey.

Sagittarius… Jupiter has just been fined for some zoning violation by the Space Police. Ready for a big move? In the not too distant future, you will become a cave dweller or a cove dweller. It isn’t clear at this time.

Capricorn… The Sun is in its fifth house warming things up. This is a real fixer upper prediction. You will plagued with the obsession to resurface everything around you, including your family, friends, co-workers, and Dennis Miller.

Aquarius… Uranus is on the cusp of Aquarius now. This is a real, and rare “meat” prediction. In the near future, you will dally daily in a deli with a derelict. Let us know how that works out for you.

Pisces… Mercury is trine with Pisces at this time. Trine is good for you. Get some new pots and pans. In the future, you will serve a bloody bladder on a platter and it won’t matter to your hungry guests.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Aug. 10th, 2014


astrology

 

Welcome friends of the future.

We bring you another week of celestial prognostications.

We hope they satisfy your needs in every way.

However, as usual, they probably won’t.

So, hold on to your hats and be forewarned of the future.

Enjoy…

 

Aries…  Uranus is on the cusp of Aries at this time causing trouble for you. Be on the alert. Your enemies are plotting to steal a Cabbage Patch doll you will acquire, and turn it in to coleslaw.

Taurus… The Moon is trine with Taurus at the moment and wishes it were in opposition for some reason. Hmmm…Soon you will have the uncontrollable urge to linger.  In fact, you will love lingering . Let us know how that goes for you.

Gemini…  Saturn is rising now and getting ready for some action. You will soon have the urge to love and worship all uneven surfaces. I know that sounds weird, but that’s what the charts say. Go figure.

Cancer…  Pluto is in perigee at this time and is confused. Be on the alert. In the near future, your enemies will try to dwindle you. We haven’t come up with a defense for that, so be careful.

Leo…  Mars is in its fifth house having it repainted after a wild party. Get ready for a new friend. One day you will meet a Barrister named Barry on the Great Barrier Reef. He will borrow money from you and won’t return it because he’s a shyster.

Virgo…  Mercury is square with Virgo and will soon be on the cusp. You’ll waste a lot of time over this. It won’t be long before you have the tendency to dawdle while you yodel.

Libra…  Venus is in its ninth house wondering why it has nine houses to contend with. Get your creative juices flowing. In the future, you will write a bestselling ebook called, “How To Banter For Fun And Profit”.

Scorpio… The Sun is on the cusp of Scorpio now.  Bottoms up! Soon, in the future, you will spend your last dime on liquor. Luckily you will have many paper dollars left, unfortunately it will be Monopoly money.

Sagittarius… Neptune is in its fifth house counting calories. Could this be a fly by night scheme? Sometime in the near future, a large bird will break into a bank and sit on your nest egg.

Capricorn…  Venus is on the cusp of Capricorn now. This could get sticky. Sometime soon, you will have the uncontrollable urge to send a tube of Crazy Glue to a psychiatrist for therapy.

Aquarius… Uranus is in its third house having the cabinets replaced and is having trouble with the contractor. Get ready to scratch. In the future, you will suddenly awaken and find that you are the star attraction in a flea circus.

Pisces…  The Earth is trine with Pisces now and that is fine. Good news and bad news. In the future you will be very good, then very bad, then you will be force to be very, very good, then you jail sentence (with cell mate Dennis Miller) will be over. Good luck with that.

And, remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Aug. 3rd, 2014


astrology

It’s August already.

Can you believe it?

It’s all downhill for the year I fear.

And, it could be downhill for some of you as well.

Good luck with this week’s prognostications.

Aries… The Earth is in its fifth house having new windows installed. Let’s hope you like Haiti. In the future, you will experience hard labor in Labadie with Dennis Miller, and hate it. Not the work, Dennis Miller.

Taurus… Mercury is descending at a high rate of speed and it’s getting dangerous. Soon, you will meet someone named Hal and have a Hal of a time with him, and someone from Halliburton.

Gemini… Venus is at perigee now and doesn’t know why. Get out the money bags. In the future, you will become rich and famous as a World Champion Worm Wrestler, only to be defeated by a slug.

Cancer… Mars is trine with Cancer at the moment. some day soon, you will high fly a kite or get into a fight while high. It isn’t clear at this time. Good luck anyway.

Leo… The sun is square with Leo now. Heads up people. One day, you will become highly infatuated with a bobblehead and propose marriage to it, making your friends and family envious. But, it will end in disaster when you accidentally step on it while the head is getting a beer from the fridge.

Virgo… Saturn is rising with a headache at this time after a bad night of poker and beer. It’s time for love again. In the future, you will become infatuated with a fathead to the dismay of your friends and family. But it won’t last. The fathead will eat itself to death.

Libra… Pluto is in its second house cleaning up after itself. It had a stomach illness. Get ready for love and a little action. In the not too distant future, you will meet an sketch artist who will temp you with an action figure.

Scorpio… Neptune is at the auto shop having its oil changed. One day, you will become rich and famous (especially in Colorado and 22 other states) for creating a bumper sticker with the words, “There’s nothing wrong with having a bong”.

Sagittarius… Uranus is in opposition to Sagittarius at this time and is upset about it. This could be good or bad. In the future, you will eat a powdered sugar covered donut hole or fall into a hole and scream the whole way down. It could go either way. Good luck.

Capricorn… The Sun is trine with Capricorn now. Sorry for the sad news. In the future, your enemies will steal your wart collection and hold it for a hefty ransom which you will gladly pay only to find out later that they had sold the warts on eBay.

Aquarius… Mars is on the cusp of Aquarius now and loving it. Soon you will be involved with a metal smelter or seek immediate shelter. It isn’t clear at the moment, so be prepared.

Pisces… Jupiter is in apogee now and is upset about it. In the future, your Fairy Godmother will create a new energy efficient vehicle for you. Unfortunately it will be a coach made of a pumpkin pulled by some mice that will alert their friends. They (along with some hungry rats) will devour the vehicle while you’re having a lunch of Ratatouille.

And, remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved

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