Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents
With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay.
“I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead.
“And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.”
Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.
Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/homeless-man-has-no-idea-what-to-do-with-visiting,29486/
There is a man without a home,
Among the cold streets he does roam,
Not sure if he owns any phone,
He worries if his folks will groan.
They don’t know of his situation,
Where his meals are always rationed,
Like many folks across the nation.
Will it cause them aggravation?
What will he do with his folks,
Tell them some sad homeless jokes,
While his campfire he does stoke,
With apprehensive poker strokes?
There isn’t much for them to see,
A railway bridge, perhaps some trees,
Or maybe the spot where he pees,
If his parents do agree.
Perhaps he’ll be a boring host,
Who cannot offer them a roast,
Or even a slice of morning toast,
Nor drinks to raise and make a toast.
He’ll grab dinner from out the trash,
Then he will make a rapid dash,
To be gone in a silent flash,
Since he hasn’t got any cash.
That’s the life he lives today,
He has no home where he can stay,
Nor job which can provide some pay,
The future is not bright; it’s gray.
© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved
Comments on: "Pondering Parental Predicament" (4)
Thanks for the comment. I use what I believe to be fiction from The Onion, with a weird twist. But, they seem to be moving away from that to more real news and videos. The older stories I posted were more tongue and cheek, quirky, and fun to write about via poetry. This story could bring back unpleasant memories of the past in any one of us. But, it’s still the past and we should try not to dwell on it, but that can be difficult at times. 🙂
felt weird hitting the “like” button on this one…reality seems always to be grim…no wonder I read so much lighthearted post-apocalyptic fiction…I like it precisely because it * is* fiction…whereas this poor fella’s lot could be any of ours, we who live on prayer, paycheck to paycheck. There but for the grace of God…
Yes he is. Hopefully they will remove him from his plight.
What a sorry young man… They might take him home…