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Study: Marriages Between Perfectly Matched Couples Should Still Only Last About 15 Years

ORLANDO, FL—

In a new study released Friday that challenges contemporary notions of marital satisfaction, researchers at the University of Central Florida found that unions even between perfectly matched couples should only last around 15 years.

“Contrary to the traditional idea of ‘until death do us part,’ our findings indicate that partners compatible in every way should nevertheless be married no longer than a decade and a half,” said lead researcher Dr. Hank Grossman, adding that the physical and emotional intimacy of marriage is “more or less fully depleted” by the 15-year mark, even among two people who could not have found a better fit than each other.

“The data suggests that the most personally fulfilled, satisfied couples—those who consider their partner their soul mate—choose to part ways before codependency or feelings of entrapment emerge. It’s fair to say that any marriage lasting more than 15 years is almost certainly a product of serious dysfunction.”

Grossman added that 15 years was the uppermost limit, and that two people who were truly meant to be together may exhaust their relationship in half that time.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-marriages-between-perfectly-matched-couples,37215/

Hmmm…

Divorce after fifteen years,

Could bring most couples to tears,

When they realize their fears,

That they’re like all their peers.

 

Even with the best soul mate,

Found on their first blind date,

A breakup will be their fate,

A marriage they won’t reinstate.

 

A study made it clear,

The results are quite severe,

It’s nothing to be cheered,

Their love will disappear.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Comments on: "Perfect Partners Parting" (5)

  1. How some studies can be misleading! We have to be sure of the authenticity of the study; and the motivation of the researcher. I really doubt if this study is worth our attention. However, since we are all different, those who like to go by that will decide for themselves; but my experience after twenty five years is we are much closer now than we have ever been.

  2. Great! I think the study was a parody. BTW, we just had our 50th six weeks ago.

  3. hey, hey, hey! 31 years here, and still going strong….

  4. Haha, studies seem to know so much! I wonder what people who have been together for longer than 15 years would say about living in a dysfunctional relationship!

  5. Sorry for the people who come to this conclusion, because the results of their hard work in the research field are good for nothing … oh wait… they are good for theonion.com and your satirical poems though 🙂

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