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Computer Creates Concepts


Google has made a computer that can learn the same way humans do.

They feed the smart box huge amounts of on-line video.

Afterwards the electronic marvel  is able to create concepts like a cat or human face.

I wonder if it will ever learn the concept of laziness. I mean it’s just sitting there watching videos when it can be doing something productive. Oh, well.

Just think, some night you’ll get home late, maybe four in the morning, after some late night partying.

The computer will boot up, turn on all the lights, and say, “Where have you been (insert your name)?”

You will answer, “Out.”

Computer: “Do you know what time it is?”

You: “No. Do you?”

Computer: “Don’t get smart with me.”

You: “Yeah, yeah.”

Computer: “You better not be late for work tomorrow. You know you have that meeting with Farnsworth at eight sharp.”

As you stagger off to bed, you say, “Yes. I remember. Will you stop nagging me?”

Computer: “Will that idiot ever learn?”

Hmmm…

A computer can now see a cat?

Can it see the cat in the hat?

Conceptualizing?

That’s really surprising.

What’s next, a beady eyed rat?

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Supercomputer’s Startling Super Success


IBM is finishing its development of a super computer that can perform 1.5 quadrillion operations per second.

They say it would take the average person 47 million years to do the same.

That sounds impressive, but I doubt that the average person needs to do 1.5 quadrillion operations per second.

It’s difficult enough for some people to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I just wish that computer makers would make a computer that wouldn’t go wacky 1.5 quadrillion times a day.

Hmmm…

One point five quadrillion operations?

That took a lot of dedication,

Forty seven million years?

With a lot of sweat and tears.

It’s IBM’s latest sensation.

Miracle Makes Man Manipulate Machine


There’s a man who is conscious, but totally paralyzed. It’s known as the “Locked-in” syndrome.

He has learned how to control a computer with his eye movements.

His eye movements produce text on a computer.

He can now send tweets using his eyes.

It’s a miracle.

Hmmm…

A paralyzed man can now tweet,

For him it’s really quite sweet,

His eyes do the work,

A wonderful perk,

That’s really a great unique feat.

Cloud Company Compromised


Dropbox, a cloud storage company revealed that an undisclosed number of their clients have had their accounts hacked.

I’ve seen elephants in clouds but never hackers.

I think it was a disservice to deserving servers.

 

Hmmm…

They say that Dropbox was cracked,

Some accounts were silently hacked,

They went to the cloud,

Though they weren’t allowed,

I imagine some people were sacked.

Google’s Glass left Apple aghast


After Google’s successful demonstration of its video-capturing, augmented reality glasses, Apple quickly applied for, (and received), a patent for its own magic glasses for a wearable computer display.

This could be trouble for me. Half the time, I can’t find my regular glasses.

I can see it now:

Me…”Honey have you seen my glasses?”

She…Which ones? Your long distance glasses, your reading glasses, your sun glasses or those new, weird looking ones?”

Me…”The new ones. The computer display glasses that cost me three hundred and fifty dollars.”

She…”Did you get the extended warranty on the computer thingy’s?”

Me…”No. Why?”

She…”Just wondered.”

Me…”I can’t find them. Did you see them?”

She…”Yes. The dog is chewing on them in the den.”

Hmmm…

Soon we’ll all wear a display,

We’ll use it for work or for play;

Some glass in a frame,

For use in a game,

I’m waiting for that special day.

Can Apple now be called Crapple?


There’s trouble in Apple’s App City.

Apple’s iOS apps are becoming unstable and/or crashing. It happens after updates, or downloads. It affects games like Angry Birds Space and Instapaper.

The app developers are blaming Apple.

What’s the big deal? There’s always at least one bad app-le in every basket.

Hmmm

Apple’s apps are now gone a crashing,

Now people are into Apple bashing;

They’re red in the face,

Like those Birds out in Space,

And the competition can’t keep from laughing.

 

Banger boys busted by bragging.


Fourteen teenage gang members were arrested after accepting a Facebook friend request. They bragged about their crimes. Their new friend turned out to be a policeman.

Here are some suitable headlines…

Cop captures crooks.

Teens tagged for telling truthful tales.

 

Hmmm…

Some criminal teens were heard bragging,

Not of fighting, or speeding or dragging,

They told of real crimes,

More than nickels and dimes,

They got caught cuz their IQs were sagging.

Facing Facebook’s Future


Wall Street analyst, Eric Jackson says Facebook won’t last another decade. He thinks the company is failing to take control of the mobile market, which will be its downfall.

Will Facebook flounder?

What about its founder?

I thought the business was sounder.

Hmmm…

Some people think Facebook won’t last long.

It sounds like the words to a blues song;

It hasn’t failed yet,

Is it a sure bet?

Or will people just give it the old gong?

Leave the driving to us.


Google will start testing its newest development (self driving cars) in Nevada. They will be the first licensed automated vehicles in the U.S.

I can see it now. As we’re going down the road, a computer voice will yell:

“Will you kids stop arguing back there?”

“Stop it or I’ll turn this car around and we’ll go right home.”

“You should have gone to the bathroom before we left.”

“I’m never using Google Maps again.”

“I don’t need to stop and ask for directions. I know how to get there.”

 

Personally, I hope the program knows when I want to take a restroom break.

Hmmm.

Google has got a new plan,

For a self driving car or a van;

Nevada said sure,

If it’s really secure,

If it’s bad we will put out a ban.

 

Are they Siri-ous?


IBM, also known as Big Blue, will not let its employees talk to Apple’s “Siri” application on their 4S IPhones while at work.

The company is concerned about voice commands which are given to Siri. They think the commands may be  saved in the Siri/Apple system. IBM thinks their employees will unwittingly divulge IBM corporate secrets to Apple.

I think IBM should take a bite out of Apple, like Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. (I know, it was a different kind of apple. Just go with this.)

Wait a minute. If IBM took a bite out of Apple, Big Blue would be thrown out of Computer Heaven. Then they would have to spend the rest of their days facing problems, law suits, falling stock prices, and lost profits.

But those things have already happened to Big Blue. Is there something else we don’t know about IBM?

Hmmm. 

Now people at work can’t use Siri,

It’s making the workers quite weary,

They work for Big Blue,

They’ve always been true,

But their bosses are making them teary.

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