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Archive for the ‘Google’ Category

Computer Creates Concepts


Google has made a computer that can learn the same way humans do.

They feed the smart box huge amounts of on-line video.

Afterwards the electronic marvel  is able to create concepts like a cat or human face.

I wonder if it will ever learn the concept of laziness. I mean it’s just sitting there watching videos when it can be doing something productive. Oh, well.

Just think, some night you’ll get home late, maybe four in the morning, after some late night partying.

The computer will boot up, turn on all the lights, and say, “Where have you been (insert your name)?”

You will answer, “Out.”

Computer: “Do you know what time it is?”

You: “No. Do you?”

Computer: “Don’t get smart with me.”

You: “Yeah, yeah.”

Computer: “You better not be late for work tomorrow. You know you have that meeting with Farnsworth at eight sharp.”

As you stagger off to bed, you say, “Yes. I remember. Will you stop nagging me?”

Computer: “Will that idiot ever learn?”

Hmmm…

A computer can now see a cat?

Can it see the cat in the hat?

Conceptualizing?

That’s really surprising.

What’s next, a beady eyed rat?

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Finding Future Flight Fares


Google has expanded its Flight Service area with a more comprehensive site called Flight Search.

You can easily use it to search multiple airline fares at the same time and find the lowest prices.

It also compares airline fare histories to indicate when prices will be their lowest.

That way, you’ll know the best time to travel to your destination.

Hmmm…

Google helps you to fly,

It’s a place to get a good buy.

Flights there are cheaper,

We found a real keeper,

Perhaps it’s a place you should try.

 

BTW…I have no affiliation with Google.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Google’s Graciously Giving Ten Grand


Good old Google is now giving up to $10,000. in business loans.

They are hoping to spur interest in their Google Ad business.

They will loan the money if a business subscribes to their ad service.

Hmmm…

Dear Google please give me a loan,

My cash is in the dead zone.

I really need money,

I’m strapped, it’s not funny.

Pay up and I’ll leave you alone.

Google’s G-mail Goes Goofy


Recently Google had an outage which lasted for an hour.

It affected around ten percent of Google users.

That left about thirty million subscribers without email service.

I remember that day.

I heard screaming from all corners of the planet/globe/Earth.

I don’t know why people use that expression, “All corners of the globe” etc.

Maybe it derives from the Flat Earth Society.

I don’t use G-mail, so it didn’t affect me.

Plus, I am secure in my belief that the Earth is indeed mostly round.

Hmmm…

Gmail was apparently out,

It made customers suddenly shout.

Thirty million were affected,

Before it was detected.

They were certainly angered no doubt.

Google’s Glass left Apple aghast


After Google’s successful demonstration of its video-capturing, augmented reality glasses, Apple quickly applied for, (and received), a patent for its own magic glasses for a wearable computer display.

This could be trouble for me. Half the time, I can’t find my regular glasses.

I can see it now:

Me…”Honey have you seen my glasses?”

She…Which ones? Your long distance glasses, your reading glasses, your sun glasses or those new, weird looking ones?”

Me…”The new ones. The computer display glasses that cost me three hundred and fifty dollars.”

She…”Did you get the extended warranty on the computer thingy’s?”

Me…”No. Why?”

She…”Just wondered.”

Me…”I can’t find them. Did you see them?”

She…”Yes. The dog is chewing on them in the den.”

Hmmm…

Soon we’ll all wear a display,

We’ll use it for work or for play;

Some glass in a frame,

For use in a game,

I’m waiting for that special day.

Leave the driving to us.


Google will start testing its newest development (self driving cars) in Nevada. They will be the first licensed automated vehicles in the U.S.

I can see it now. As we’re going down the road, a computer voice will yell:

“Will you kids stop arguing back there?”

“Stop it or I’ll turn this car around and we’ll go right home.”

“You should have gone to the bathroom before we left.”

“I’m never using Google Maps again.”

“I don’t need to stop and ask for directions. I know how to get there.”

 

Personally, I hope the program knows when I want to take a restroom break.

Hmmm.

Google has got a new plan,

For a self driving car or a van;

Nevada said sure,

If it’s really secure,

If it’s bad we will put out a ban.

 

Google this…


Google got fined $25,000 by the FCC for obstruction of justice in regard to their data collection methods.

Here’s my take on that:

There is a search engine called Google,

It’s a place where surfers can oogle;

They fooled with the Feds,

Now their faces are red,

So now they must learn to be frugal.

I WANT TO THANK ALL MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS FOR BEING SO GENEROUS IN THEIR KIND COMMENTS AND FOR LIKING MY POSTS. IT MEANS A LOT TO ME. BEING FELLOW BLOGGERS, YOU KNOW WHERE I’M COMING FROM. YOU’RE THE BEST!

 

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