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Burger King Broadens Breakfast


TOKYO, May 1 (UPI) –

The fast food breakfast war in Japan is in full effect and Burger King has decided to enter the fray with a new offering — a SPAM and cheese burger.

BK Japan’s SPAM & Cheese, which comes on a whole-wheat bun with usual burger fixings like pickles, mayo and lettuce, is priced at $3.42 and comes with a coffee or juice.

Other new breakfast items at BK Japan include a BK Hot Dog with ketchup and mustard, a Bolognese Burger with tomato sauce or a BLT Burger.

This is apparently not the first time that BK Japan has chosen to put SPAM on its menu.

The chain also debuted a line of mini SPAM sliders in June 2011 that were marketed towards Japanese women with the slogan, “What women want, what women get.”

The Huffington Post reported that Burger King’s Hawaiian locations started selling a SPAM Platter — which featured two slices of the canned meat with white rice and scrambled eggs — in 2007.



BK is serving SPAM and cheese,
They’re hoping that it will soon please,
The breakfast hungry Japanese,
Selling it should be a real breeze.

They’re putting it on a wheat bun,
They’re hoping that it won’t be shunned,
When the breakfast day is all done,
In the land of the rising sun.

They tried SPAM on other isles,
They sure got a lot of smiles,
In their new Hawaiian trials,
The data’s in their files.

Now, will a BK one day,
Serve SPAM in the USA?
Will we see it on display?
It could be a daring play.

SPAM’s served with most anything,
Just plain or with lots of bling,
It could be the new dining thing,
That would make BK registers ring.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved

Your HORROR – scope for the week of: March 23rd, 2014

horoscope chart

Hi there friends.

It’s time for another look into the future.

The past is now behind us and It’s very upset because it couldn’t catch up.

We are stuck in the present, and to make matters worse, it’s an unwrapped present.

Oh well, I guess we have to keep marching on.

Good luck and have a great life.

Here is your Horror-scope for this week.

Aries… Neptune is angry with Aries because he left cracker crumbs in bed again. Someone wants to cherish you forever…by putting you in plastic resin.

Taurus… Soon Jupiter will align with Mars but won’t be happy about it. Be on the alert. Some people will try to void you, others will try to avoid you. Some will ask you to listen to Dennis Miller.

Gemini… Your Gemini moon is in retrograde again. You will become confused and tell everyone you meet, that The Game of Thrones involves toilet fixtures.

Cancer… Your stars have crossed in an illegal manner and have been ticketed by the Solar Police. You will have the uncontrollable urge to tighten a loose woman.

Leo… Libra’s trine with wine but prefers sherry. You will put so much fiber into your body that you will become a place mat for your table.

Virgo… A Virgo moon is on the cusp of Jupiter and Neptune Your next haircut will end in shear madness.

Libra… Leo is in opposition to your mooning in Miami. You will soon suffer from sulphur while taking a selfie.

Scorpio… Scorpio is on the cusp of The Moon. You will write a bestselling book called, “Cooking With Cobwebs”.

Sagittarius… Sagittarius is on the cusp of The Sun and is about to go into retrograde. You will date a clown, then become a ringmaster in a flea circus.

Capricorn… Pluto’s alignment at the auto center tells us that in the future you will be shocked to see your electrolysis bill.

Aquarius… Your stars have crossed their legs again. Your enemies are planning to involve you in a chain reaction.

Pisces… The Earth is trine with the square of Orion. You will be thrown out of a cabinet makers office when you ask for a stool sample.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Day’s Decisions Determine Direction


Nation’s Girlfriends Admit Absolutely Everything Riding On Valentine’s Day


Confirming that it’s “all come down to this,” the nation’s girlfriends admitted Thursday that, despite anything they may have said or implied in the past, absolutely everything hinges on the outcome of this Valentine’s Day.

Describing the evening as “the indisputable make-or-break moment of our relationships,” the girlfriends explained that if Valentine’s Day fails, in any way, to live up to their standards, or if at any point they sense that not enough effort went into the occasion, then things are as good as over.

“Look, I’m gonna cut the crap here: I’ve basically funneled all my hopes for the future into this one night in which my boyfriend must achieve perfection, or else we’re through,” Virginia Beach area girlfriend Jenna Boyce, 27, told reporters, noting that she will be able to tell immediately if her boyfriend cheaps out on the flowers he has bought her or throws his gift together at the very last minute. “I expect an amazing, thoughtful, nearly flawless experience, one that is simultaneously fun and romantic, and a night I will remember for the rest of my life. Anything short of that, and I walk.”

“I know I’ve stated in the past that I believe Valentine’s Day is dumb and that it’s a commercial holiday and that it doesn’t matter to me, but I was lying,” Boyce added, in total concurrence with every other girlfriend in the country. “That was total baloney. I, in fact, care more about this than anything, by far.”

The nation’s girlfriends admitted to reporters, and to anyone who cared to know, that nothing their boyfriends have ever done for them in the past, including any and all good deeds previously rendered, will matter in the slightest if they don’t make tomorrow a day to remember.

The assembled women then confirmed that they expect the following things tomorrow, and they “don’t care” if these expectations make them appear either old-fashioned, demanding, or unrealistic: flowers; repeated romantic gestures and signs of physical affection; compliments; assorted gifts of an emotionally resonant nature; a dinner that is sufficiently high-end yet also warm and intimate; two to three fond recollections of the relationship’s origins; an outfit and attention to personal dress on the part of the boyfriend that shows he cares; extended eye contact; highly engaged conversation; no spared details; no mistakes; no jokes that in any way undermine the seriousness and romantic gravity of the evening; no mention of money or cost; and a minimum of 25 utterances of the word “love.”

“And if you don’t like it, that is too bad, because this is the attitude I am walking into tomorrow with and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to alter or subdue that attitude,” said Seattle area girlfriend Sonia Moreno, 31, noting that Valentine’s Day will be the sole metric she will use to gauge her boyfriend’s worth and romantic commitment. “That’s the reality. It’s all come down to this. And so, come tomorrow, I suppose myself and every girlfriend in America will find out for sure if their relationship has a future or not.”

The nation’s girlfriends also confirmed that if their boyfriends are able to go all out and make tomorrow truly special, then there is no reason why they couldn’t make a similar effort on every other day of the year too.



There are expectations this day,
And the girls have the final say,
They want dinner and wine,
And it better be fine,
Or it could be the end of foreplay.

Men must be especially nice,
Giving them sugar and spice,
Girls want some nice jewelry,
And not some tom foolery,
Perhaps a ring frozen in ice.

This is the night of decision,
Men must show love with precision,
They must make the right move,
To get her in the groove,
They must plan it with love’s perfect vision.

So men get yourselves in gear,
For it only comes once a year,
Be nice and romantic,
Do not be pedantic,
Go forward without any fear.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Couple Consider Cabinet Conversations

Cabinet Couple
A Couple Never Dreamed They Would Be Able To Talk So Openly, And Honestly About Cabinets


Calling communication the cornerstone of their marriage, local couple Sam and Christina Garber confessed to reporters Thursday that they never dreamed they would one day be able to talk so openly and honestly about cabinets with each other.

The Garbers, who wed in 2006 and have two children, confirmed that early in their relationship it was difficult to have a constructive conversation about anything even remotely related to cabinetry, admitting that they lacked the closeness and trust to share their true feelings about wood materials, hardware, and custom accents.

“When we were newlyweds eight years ago, we could never have had an upfront and candid discussion about custom or stock-manufactured cabinets,” said Christina, 36, adding that the couple actively avoided touchy subjects such as durability, selection, and storage options. “These are not always easy conversations to have, but we’ve grown so much closer since learning to express our needs and desires for wall-hung cupboards.”

“Even if we don’t always see eye-to-eye on cabinets, it’s nice to know that we can talk through it,” continued Christina. “It’s remarkable that we now regularly communicate our feelings regarding corbels and beveled edges. I could hardly imagine that I’d ever be sharing that kind of bond with another person.”

Sam Garber acknowledged that until recently the mere mention of cabinet door styles caused him to emotionally shut down and withdraw from his wife. The 38-year-old, who would become terse and distant when the topic of raised or flat panels was broached, revealed that he didn’t feel comfortable letting his guard down and voicing his true preference for a cathedral profile.

“Looking back, I realize that I had a lot of insecurities and was afraid that my penchant for a decorative door panel made me less of a man,” said Sam, who reportedly no longer feels vulnerable about sharing his love of frosted glass inserts. “I guess I had some old-fashioned ideas. I just didn’t understand the importance of expressing your feelings about cabinets in a healthy way.”
Christina confirmed that she used to fear bringing up her dissatisfaction with crown molding to her husband, worrying that he would be unsupportive or reject her concerns. However, the mother of two told reporters that improving communication has helped the couple overcome intimacy barriers, and Sam has demonstrated that he is actually very open to trying braid, cyma, covetto, torus, ovolo, and keel molding.

The couple claimed that the frequency with which they explicitly discuss the merits of all-oak construction and split-rail paneling has allowed them to nurture their relationship and build a level of trust they never considered possible.

Though proud of how easily they exchange their thoughts on the appeal of traditional Piedmont detailing, the couple readily admits that they weren’t always so eager to address such an intimate topic with one another. Like most young couples, learning to communicate their feelings about shelving units was something they had to work on.

The Garbers’ inability to genuinely convey their feelings on toe-kicks led to strain in the relationship, as unfiltered criticisms and built-up resentment began to take their toll. Tension escalated to such a degree following the couple’s wedding that they sought the help of a licensed contractor.

“To be fair, I had my own personal baggage that I brought to the table when it came to cabinetry, and seeing a contractor together really honed in on the source of some of those issues,” said Christina, who described growing up in a cold, repressive home where laminate shelving and sculpted drawer fronts were never discussed. “But once we got past my whole thing with dovetail joinery, we were able to move forward and successfully pick out a proper pull knob.

“It’s not easy, but sharing thoughts on alternate kinds of finishes and glass accents keeps things exciting,” added Christina, glancing lovingly at her husband. “My only hope is that we can instill these values in our kids, so that they’ll be capable of someday connecting on that kind of level with someone too.”

Found@: The Onion,35191/


A couple just couldn’t debate,
On cabinets and how they should rate,
On hardware and wood,
The bad and the good,
Some tension it sure did create.

At first they weren’t quite certain,
If they should pull back the curtain,
To talk of moldings,
And the pleasure It brings,
Their feelings were truly uncertain.

The subject was strictly taboo,
Though both of them knew what to do,
With storage and shelves,
Alone by themselves,
But they couldn’t discuss it as two.

They finally resolved their ordeal,
They now talk of drawer pulls of steel,
Their lives are first rate,
They communicate,
When they sit down to have a meal.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Climbers Climb Construction Crane

Urban explorers climb London’s ‘Walkie Talkie’ building

An urban explorer dangles his legs from the roof of London’s iconic Walkie-Talkie building – after dodging security and climbing a crane


Housemates Antoine Dutilh, 22, Danny Lowe, 24, and Ricky Winspear, 23, decided to scale the under-construction London skyscraper after spying it from the roof of another building earlier in the day.

The trio are far from experienced urban explorers, spending only 10 minutes scouting out the building before hopping a fence and taking the stairs to the summit.

“The views from the top were just incredible, I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Ricky, from Paddington, London.

“When you’re peering over the edge just looking down with nothing between you and the floor, 180m above the ground, it’s mind-blowing.”

20 Fenchurch Street, nicknamed the Walkie-Talkie building due to its distinctive shape, hit the headlines in September last year after its reflective exterior bounced rays of sunlight onto nearby parked cars, causing parts of them to melt.

Once at the summit the explorers climbed some scaffolding to reach a crane.

They began to climb the machine but were forced to descend when it began to whir into life.

“We were going up one of the cranes, we got halfway up, but I wanted to go all the way to the top to get the highest view I could get, but the crane started moving and we realised there was someone operating the crane,” said Antoine, an illustrator and artist.

“We weren’t sure if he saw us, but as soon as that happened we just thought we should head down and go to another part of the building.”

The trio were keen to stress that they caused no damage to the site, and believe they did not put themselves at any risk during their explorations.

Danny, a fashion photographer, said: “The climb itself wasn’t dangerous because it’s designed for builders to work there on a day-to-day basis. The building was safe, it wasn’t like we were hanging off any ledges.”

The friends spent time on the roof taking photographs and drinking in the panoramic views, although their plans to stay overnight and watch the sunrise were scuppered when they heard workmen milling around the site and decided to make a quick exit.

“It felt very peaceful, almost surreal, it’s a different perspective of London. It’s something that’s not linked to London as a busy place, it’s completely different, you can see everything, it’s brilliant. A really really cool feeling,” said Antoine.

“I just wanted to go to a place that I’ve never been before. It was an adventure and a challenge,” added Danny, who used to have a fear of heights.

He added: “What I can take away from climbing the Walkie Talkie? It’s not that I’m a bigger man because I’d done this thing, it just makes you balance things out, you realise that the little things that bother you on a day-to-day basis are so unimportant, there’s bigger things that mean more.”

“In the future when we go past and it’s actually been built, there’s not many people can say they’d stood on the top of the roof of the Walkie-Talkie building. It’s remarkable that we’ve done it.”



Urban explorers moved up many floors,
Climbing like human flies.
They climbed a new building,
Which has no real gilding,
A hundred and eighty meters high.

Urban explorers just live for the climb,
They do it to touch the sky.
They climbed Walkie-Talki,
Perhaps being cocky,
It’s thrilling; Do give it a try.

While up there they took in a bird’s eye view,
There wasn’t much else they could do,
Their time was cut short,
If you read the report,
It was time to climb something new.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Boy Bemused By Bonbons

candy boy

Pudgy Doughboy With Rosy Red Cheeks Presses Nose Up Against Window Of Chocolate Shop


His woolen mittens dangling from the ends of his sleeves and his mouth partially agape in breathless wonder, a pudgy doughboy with rosy red cheeks is currently pressing his round button nose up against the display window of a local chocolate shop, sources confirmed.

The astonished butterball, his cheeks aglow in the biting cold, is reportedly flattening his plump face right up against the shop window, occasionally wiping the fog from the steamed-up glass as he gazes longingly at the sugary confections contained within, his mind dancing with possibility, his eyes wide with wonder.

According to sources, the sight of a fresh tray of bonbons being carried ever so tantalizingly to a display table near the front of the store has caused the transfixed doughboy’s eyes to glaze over in an almost narcotic stupor of yearning and delight.

Reports have also confirmed that the intoxicating aromas of melted chocolate, sweet cream, and fresh puff pastry wafting out of the shop’s just opened door have merged in midair to form a veritable olfactory symphony in the roly-poly tot’s imagination, each delectable scent drawing the little piglet’s flushed cheeks closer still to the glass, an inaudible “Wow!” forming on his drool-glistened lips.

At press time, the doughboy’s impatient mother was grabbing him by his coat sleeve and rushing him hurriedly along down the street.

Found @:,34792/?ref=auto

A young man just loves all sweets,
He likes to consume the treats;
He looks on and dreams,
Of sugary creams,
Like candies, and pastries to eat.

On the glass he presses his nose,
As his sweet anticipation grows;
The scent of it’s nice,
Like sugar and spice,
He’d devour them all I suppose.

The kid’s a bit over weight,
He walks with an overweight gait,
The sweets make him fat,
His stomach’s not flat,
But he thinks his shape is just great.

His dear mother pulls him away,
From his intoxicating gaze;
He can’t see the stuff,
His mother’s so rough,
He must wait for another day.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Security Scares Suitors

Recently, a popular computer dating site admitted that it had a security breach.

As a result, a number of user passwords were leaked on-line.

As a precaution, the matchmaking firm has reset user passwords.


A date site was recently breached,

A number of passwords were reached;

This nefarious antic,

Was not so romantic,

Security is now being preached.

Akinator Acts Accurately

Using deductive reasoning and the vast knowledge of the Internet, this website’s computer  can guess your thoughts.

Akinator, the Web Genius, is a very clever genie whose sole purpose is to determine what fictional or non-fictional character you’re thinking of.

She’s got a remarkable rate of success.

Just answer her Yes/No/Maybe questions, and in no time she’ll be able to deduce your character.



The Akinator guesses your thoughts,

She’s smarter than most of the bots;

Just say yes or say no,

It will help her to know,

Then she’ll find the answer she sought.

Your HORROR – scope for the week of July 29th, 2012

Aries… The moon is trine with the river Rhine. You will have the urge to use the word aardvark in every sentence you speak this week.

Taurus… The sun has crossed the elliptic of Uranus. You’d better increase that SPF rating to at least 95, or stand in Dennis Miller’s shadow.

Gemini… Neptune is trine with Earth this week. Be on the alert. Your enemies want to stuff you into an olive.

Cancer… Mars is square with Pluto now. Go already. Meet his parents. They say the undead can be a lot of fun once you get to know them.

Leo… Saturn is on the cusp of Venus. Your idea for ear wax sculpture will not receive a favorable hearing.

Virgo… Earth’s moon is waxing at an auto detailing shop.  Do not fear. We’re not egg-xaggerating when we say sleeping with free range chickens maybe relaxing.

Libra… Venus is trine with Mercury now. If life gets your down, follow the bats and hang in there.

Scorpio… Mercury is aligned with Mars.  If you really desire a private life, join the Army.

Sagittarius… Jupiter is mutable this week. You will have the uncontrollable urge to shout, “Jowls” before and after meals.

Capricorn… Pluto is in opposition to its cusp with Venus. Your plan for a computer date will go wrong when you’re hooked up with a Commodore VIC-20.

Aquarius… Uranus and Saturn are in conjunction at this moment. Stop all tweeting. You’re confusing the neighborhood birds.

Pisces… The planets say you are wise, gentle and, musical. But your IQ is slightly under that of a rubber ducky.


And… remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Ketchup Has Finally Caught Up

M.I.T. has really been busy lately. Here’s another tidbit.

M.I.T. researchers have developed a new high tech coating for the inside of plastic ketchup bottles. It will allow the ketchup to pour out quickly.

Just think. We now can cut seconds of agony from our lives.

And, no more dirty fingers in the ketchup bottle.

I’ll still be seeing red, but much faster.


A new coating to help ketchup pour,

Who could ask for anything more?

It comes out quite fast,

For my fine repast,

This has ended the pouring uproar.

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