Your HORROR – scope for the week of August 5th, 2012
The planets are aligned for the Olympic games. They show promise for some, and the agony of defeat for others.
Read on…
Aries… Mars is favorable for you now. You will win the gold in the volleyball swallowing event.
Taurus… Pluto is trine with Uranus. A bronze medal will be yours when you speed date with Polish wrestlers.
Gemini… The Earth is in its tenth house now. You will win the gold medal in the synchronized sneezing event.
Cancer… Venus is in its ninth house and trine with Pluto. You will not win a medal in the skunk sniffing event.
Leo… Saturn is on the cusp with Mars. You will be beaten out of a bronze medal in the grave digging event by a zombie from Zaire.
Virgo… Mercury is in high orbit now. You will win a gold medal in the individual sneaker tying event.
Libra… Uranus is square with the sun. You will win the Silver medal for mingling at a Dennis Miller event.
Scorpio… Earth is in opposition with Uranus. You will miss the bronze by a thousandth of a second in the rubber ducky bobbing event.
Sagittarius… Venus is in sync with Saturn. You will come in fourth in the cross country running event when you are beaten by a Chia pet.
Capricorn… Neptune is now trine with Mars and Venus. You will win the silver medal in the kayak kissing event.
Aquarius… Pluto is on the cusp with Uranus. You will win the gold for groveling.
Pisces…The moon likes you now. You will proudly wear a silver medal for your sterling performance in the medal polishing event.
Humorous Interludes by Ron Yarosh 
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