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Archive for the ‘New Trends’ Category

Stainless Steel Shampoos Scalp


What will they think of next? It’s a futuristic follical friendly fixture.

Now you can have a robot shampoo your hair! This wonderful service bot uses 24 magical fingers to shampoo and massage your eager scalp. It really gets to the root of your problem.

Does the Woody Allen movie, “Sleeper”, ring a bell?

I don’t know if I can wrap my head around this one. Robots run on electricity. It washes your hair with water. Water and power don’t mix well unless you are looking for a new kind of thrill.

Hmmm.

A robot can now do your hair,

It’s a marvel that’s really quite rare;

It washes and rinses,

Without any winces,

When it’s done you have hair with a flair.

The U.N. wants to control the web?


Last December, the U.N. proposed regulation of the Internet. Several countries, seem to be open to U.N. regulation. The U.S. doesn’t agree.

If you ask me, this is another money grab . Besides that, the U.N. can’t even control itself!

Hmmm.

The U.N. wants control of our internet?

An idea we hope it will soon forget.

We don’t need control,

But that is its goal,

If it gets it, it’s something we’ll all regret.

We’re gonna need a bigger net!


Note: This will be on the next test.

A recent study revealed that Internet traffic could reach one trillion gigabytes in four years. That’s a “zetabyte”.

 It is estimated that 18.9 billion devices could be connected by then.

Hey, here’s an idea. Why not be a part of it?

Hmmm…

Soon the net will serve up a zetabyte,

That’s a number that’s really outta sight;

It’s one trillion gigs,

With angry birds and pigs,

It’s amazing it gets things mostly right.

Big Brother Strikes Again!


The US Congress has introduced a bill which will require black boxes in vehicles. If it passes all vehicles made in the U.S. will have the recorders installed. The government will be able to see where we go, and how we drive our vehicles.

Talk about an invasion of privacy.

Hmmm…

U.S. cars may all get a black box,

The government will make the box talk;

It will tell where we’ve been,

Again and again,

An intrusion worse than the Small Pox.

No escape?


There is new wallpaper coming that has particles specially designed to keep Wi-Fi signals from escaping your house. It’s scheduled to go on sale sometime in 2013.

Hmmm….

Wallpaper can block all Wi-Fi,

It sounds like a wonderful buy;

The signal is blocked,

Security is locked,

I think it is something to try.

 

Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 20th, 2012


Aries… Your ruling planet, Mars is facing an uprising from the serfs. You will find yourself very uncomfortable after your laundry comes back with too much starch.

Taurus… Venus thinks Scorpio cheated in a game of Go fish. You will soon wake up with a feeling of dread when you discover you’ve become a pound of camembert cheese.

Gemini… A Mutable Mercury is quite clear now. You have permission to frolic in creamed corn with Dennis Miller.

Cancer… Your Zodiac sign has been defaced with graffiti. Rubbing butter on your aardvark will help you both to cope with life’s problems.

Leo… Aquarius is co-tangent to your ruling sun. Consult with a mathematician on this one. It forecasts stochastics in your life.

Scorpio… Taurus is in conjunction with Mars. Take that dead herring out of your glove compartment.

Virgo… There is a negative polarity with Pices now. Once again it’s time to spread strawberry preserves on your jowls.

Libra… Aries is in the seventh house for a Tupperware party. You will be arrested for illegal possession of an anchovy.

Sagittarius…Jupiter is opposite Neptune on your chart. A Congressman will accuse your spleen of treason.

Capricorn… Saturn and Venus are at odds again. You better polish your forehead with Turtle Wax to avoid the fallout.

Aquarius…Uranus and Saturn are both in the seventh house.  You will soon find yourself locked in a Sponge Bob lunchbox.

Pisces… Neptune and Jupiter are plotting against you. Quick! Attend a costume party dressed as an eel.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would haveto be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

3D Movies, move over. 3D Printers are forging ahead.


In a paper published in April, University of Glasgow scientists theorize in the future, 3D printers could be used to create customized drugs and chemicals for various medical conditions including cancer. The printer can make organic and inorganic compounds.

The researchers believe the method could be used by drug companies within the next five years to make customized medicines. It may be available to the public in 20 years.

Maybe by then, drugs can be made for each of us based on our individual chemical and biological factors.

 Hmmm.

A printer that prints in 3D,

Can make drugs for you and for me,

It can make any kind,

For the body or mind,

Oh how happy we all will soon be.

The New Asteroids Game


A company called Planetary Resources, Inc. wants to mine “Near Earth” asteroids for rare minerals. They will use Arkyd-100 space ships in the endeavor.

Here’s my take on that…

They’re going to mine out in space,

It’s a cold, dark terrible place,

They’re taking a chance,

They could lose their pants,

If they do they will also lose face.

And the winner is…


Sophos, a security software developer, reported so far this year India is the top spam-relaying country. It has sent 9.3 percent of spam. The U.S. has sent 8.3 percent.

FYI…I got every one of them.

Hmmm…

India’s the top global spammer,

They often have trouble with grammar,

We get spammed every day,

No more, we all pray,

Don’t they know that spam has no glamour?

Superman now has competition!


A computer chip has been designed which can turn cell phones into X-ray devices. It enables the phones to see right through plastics, walls, wood, and fabric.

Now you don’t have to buy those x-ray glasses advertised in the back of comic books. And, you can foil the plans of criminals anywhere.

I guess it’s time for lead lined clothing.

Hmmm…

There is a young man I must say,

Whose phone can take mini x-rays;

It sees through your clothes,

Or right through your nose,

If I were you, I’d stay away.

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