Your HORROR – scope for the week of August 5th, 2012
The planets are aligned for the Olympic games. They show promise for some, and the agony of defeat for others.
Aries… Mars is favorable for you now. You will win the gold in the volleyball swallowing event.
Taurus… Pluto is trine with Uranus. A bronze medal will be yours when you speed date with Polish wrestlers.
Gemini… The Earth is in its tenth house now. You will win the gold medal in the synchronized sneezing event.
Cancer… Venus is in its ninth house and trine with Pluto. You will not win a medal in the skunk sniffing event.
Leo… Saturn is on the cusp with Mars. You will be beaten out of a bronze medal in the grave digging event by a zombie from Zaire.
Virgo… Mercury is in high orbit now. You will win a gold medal in the individual sneaker tying event.
Libra… Uranus is square with the sun. You will win the Silver medal for mingling at a Dennis Miller event.
Scorpio… Earth is in opposition with Uranus. You will miss the bronze by a thousandth of a second in the rubber ducky bobbing event.
Sagittarius… Venus is in sync with Saturn. You will come in fourth in the cross country running event when you are beaten by a Chia pet.
Capricorn… Neptune is now trine with Mars and Venus. You will win the silver medal in the kayak kissing event.
Aquarius… Pluto is on the cusp with Uranus. You will win the gold for groveling.
Pisces…The moon likes you now. You will proudly wear a silver medal for your sterling performance in the medal polishing event.
Clueless Clothes Consulting
Strange Olympic Uniforms: Wacky Outfits
The Winter Olympics isn’t just about the sports: fashion plays a huge role in the Games.
It’s an event where teams get outfitted by famous fashion designers , where judges have been known to be swayed by figure skaters’ pretty outfits and where costumes are carefully scrutinized and often ripped apart by critics, as Team USA recently found out.
It’s also an event where athletes can have a lot of fun with their style as Team Mexico’s only skier recently proved when he showed off his mariachi-inspired uniform complete with black bolero jacket and ruffled tuxedo shirt.
Sometimes, as the Canadian bobsled team recently showed us, they need not wear anything at all.
To celebrate the 2014 Winter Olympics, we take a look at the creative and strange uniforms of Olympics past and present.
A guy wears loud pants while he’s curling,
His teammates pants were all unfurling,
The pic made my mind ago a whirling,
I thought that I would be then hurling.
The Canadians were almost bare,
In that ice cold wintry air,
They did it without a care,
Inviting many a stare.
Who designs such weird attire,
And then sells it to a clothes buyer?
Should the outfits be thrown in the fire?
Should the strange concepts then be retired?
It’s all about custom designs,
To last through the games daily grind,
If they’re weird should you really mind?
Or say nothing and be extra kind.
© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved
Humor, News, Olympics, Uncategorized