Finding The Humor In Life|A Place for Laughs|Poetry|Humorous Stories…

Archive for the ‘Poerty’ Category

Parents Pardon Pleases Perpetrator

House fire


Despite his best efforts to conceal the damage, area teen, Kyle Towser, confirmed Wednesday that his parents could clearly tell he had a huge house fire while they were away for the weekend.

“I tried to cover it up before they came home by throwing blankets over the worst scorches on the floor and couches, but they could definitely smell smoke on me as soon as they came through the door,” said Towser, adding that what began as a small house fire soon got completely out of control and kept on going until well after 4 a.m.

“I mean, of course they were going to find out: The den, kitchen, and master bedroom are totally destroyed. Plus, the neighbors complained when it really started raging.”

Towser went on to say that his parents were surprisingly understanding since they had house fires when they were kids, too.

Found @,37647/


Young Towser witnessed a fire,

The situation was dire,

His folks were away,

Not just for the a day,

It was something no one would desire.


He tried to cover the mess,

The fire caused him some stress,

Would mom and dad yell?

When detecting the smell?

It was anybody’s guess.


His parents took it quite well,

They had their own story to tell,

Of fires they had,

They weren’t so sad,

They had their own flames to quell.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Parrot Missing For 4 Years Comes Home Speaking Spanish


TORRANCE, Calif. (AP) —

A pet parrot that spoke with a British accent when it disappeared from its home four years ago has been reunited with its owner — and the bird now speaks Spanish.

The Daily Breeze reported Sunday ( the reunion was brought about by a Southern California veterinarian who mistook the African gray parrot for her own missing bird.

Teresa Micco tracked Nigel’s microchip to Darren Chick, a Brit who lives in Torrance.

Little is known about Nigel’s whereabouts the past four years, but Chick says the bird’s British accent is gone and it now speaks Spanish.

It’s the fifth parrot reunion facilitated by Micco, who has been running ads for her own missing bird for nine months.

Found @


A parrot had suddenly vanished,

When it returned it could speak Spanish,

Missing four years,

That brought lots of tears,

Did it return cause it was famished?


The bird is an African Gray,

The pet suddenly went astray.

The owners were sad,

But now they are glad,

Let’s hope Nigel’s now home to stay.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Cupboard Cruelty Case Closed


Patient Spent NINE Hours In A Cupboard Because Hospital Wards Were Full

Great Britain –

Ian Semmons, 65, was disturbed throughout the night by apologetic nurses needing medical supplies.

A patient suffering from a serious infection spent nine hours in a hospital storeroom because all wards were full.

Ian Semmons, 65, was stunned when a porter told him he was being taken to a “cupboard” for the night. He was repeatedly Disturbed by nurses retrieving bandages, dressings and other kit from the cramped room.

When questioned about the worrying incident, the hospital’s chief executive Anna Dugdale admitted she wouldn’t want her mum to be treated there.

Dad-of-two Ian, who served as a panel member on the General Medical Council for 11 years, said: “This just isn’t good enough. I’d be embarrassed if I was in charge of this hospital. They called it a treatment room, but it served as a storage area and the room had no windows and only had bright lights. The nurses were coming in quite often and were very apologetic They had to move my bed at times to get to the supplies. The fact they gave me a complaints form when I arrived on the ward shows the situation is totally out of control.”

Ian was admitted to the £229 million Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital after suffering an infection following a routine procedure. He spent four hours waiting for a doctor to diagnose the problem before he was finally admitted to the storeroom at 2.30am.

Ian, who set up the influential national charity Action on Pain, was only moved onto the ward when a space became available nine hours later. After 27 hours nil by mouth he underwent surgery to correct the cause of his infection.

Ian added: “I spent five days at the hospital before I was allowed to go home. I have had some excellent treatment in there and the treatment has been fabulous, but this incident shows that things are going wrong. The nurses on the ward were superb, but they were placed in an impossible situation.”

The 953-bed hospital was criticized in February 2010 when OAP Rhoda Talbot, 85, also had to spend a night in a storeroom.

Ian, of Shipdham, Norfolk, plans to complain to healthcare regulator the Care Quality Commission about his treatment on July 14 this year.

He added: “Four and a half years and they are still content to put someone in a cupboard or what they call a treatment room. “It is totally unacceptable and it is quite ridiculous. I’d have thought they’d have come up with a solution to avoid that in that period of time.”

Chief executive Ms Dugdale said A&E admissions have shot up from 54,000 in 2008/09 to 68,000 this year. She added: “I wouldn’t choose this for my mum, but I wouldn’t want her in the car park either. I would want her in the hospital. It’s really tough for everybody. We are not able to do everything we would like to do for every patient at the moment and that makes me very sad. Our ability to accommodate all our patients depends on how many people turn up and how many people we can get out of the back doors.”

A hospital spokesman said treatment rooms are used as extra bed space when hospital wards fill up. The dialysis unit and clinical teaching spaces are also used for overflow.

The spokesman said: “At the time that Mr Semmons came to hospital we were already fully occupied caring for other patients. We do not, however, turn away patients who need emergency admission. If necessary, when all our wards are full and more patients need our care, we implement an escalation plan and care for patients in what are known as escalation areas. These are areas of the hospital that are not routinely used to accommodate patients but they allow us to safely care for all the patients needing our services.”

Found at :

Kept in a cupboard all night,

It must have been quite a fright,

In a store room,

Among mops and brooms,

It certainly wasn’t all right.


There was no room in the ward,

So another place was explored,

It wasn’t the best,

For a place to rest,

But that’s where he had to be stored.


He spent nine hours in there,

And nobody seemed to care,

Disturbed in his bed,

Soon word of it spread,

It was really too much to bear.


The old man was really ill,

He couldn’t be cured with a pill,

Upon an inspection,

They found an infection,

The battle was surely up hill.


An operation took place,

But not in that tiny space,

The docs cured the fellow,

While drugs made him mellow,

Their work was his saving grace.


The papers shortly got word,

Incompetence was inferred,

With great admonitions,

About the conditions,

Which really should not have occurred.


The officials said what they said,

They didn’t have sufficient beds,

The wards were all full,

They weren’t being cruel,

A condition they certainly dread.

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Artifacts Affirm Agreement


Artifacts Discovered Buried In Washington D.C. Suggest Humans Once Passed Laws There


Archaeologists say the mysterious lawmaking civilization thrived in this region for generations before dying off suddenly.


In a significant discovery that sheds new light on the region’s history, archaeologists excavating a site on Capitol Hill reportedly unearthed evidence this week suggesting that humans once passed laws there.

The team of researchers from the University of Maryland confirmed that it collected a wealth of writing implements and ancient documents, which appeared to indicate that, in earlier ages, approximately 500 humans assembled at a centralized location and worked as a group, with the apparent goal of creating a system of rules designed to govern behavior.

“Our finding that early inhabitants used to work toward the common objective of improving society through formal, cooperative efforts completely changes what we knew about the Washington D.C. region,” said lead archaeologist Peter Douglas, who expressed admiration for the sophisticated, self-sufficient civilization that once flourished along the banks of the Potomac River. “In fact, based on the sheer number of artifacts that we’ve unearthed, it appears this practice of law-crafting may have been their primary livelihood.”

“Apparently, these individuals engaged in this unusual behavior every day for years and years—it was just a normal, routine part of their lives,” added Douglas. “It’s remarkable to think that, for generations, thousands of laws were passed right where we’re standing.”

Archaeologists reportedly recovered more than 2,000 artifacts from the scene, including reams of yellowed parchment that bear such enigmatic phrases as “annual budget,” “joint resolution,” and “Civil Rights Act.”

Harvard University’s Vance Yeager, a paleolinguistics expert who examined the documents and attempted to reconstruct the past ways of life in Washington, told reporters that the evidence points to an extraordinary yet apparently common ritual in which early leaders who held opposing viewpoints engaged in a standardized routine of communicating, offering mutual concessions, and then moving together on an idea called an “agreement” that occupied some sort of middle ground between their two initial visions.

“It’s truly impressive when you stop and actually imagine that there once existed an entire culture devoted to doing little else aside from passing laws,” said Yeager, adding that the early regional inhabitants evidently employed their unconventional customs in an effort to improve nearly all aspects of their civilization, from reforming their organizational structures, to upgrading their facilities, to living comfortably within their means. “What’s even more striking is that this peculiar activity went on uninterrupted for years without their complex system ever halting or ceasing to function. It’s nothing short of astonishing.”

Despite what appear to have been generations of prolific law creation in Washington D.C., researchers said that the complete lack of any relics from more recent years confirmed that the practice seems to have died out suddenly and without any explanation.

“Our team has carefully cataloged and studied all of the artifacts that were excavated, but we are still unable to explain why the social structure fell out of favor and disappeared from the area,” archaeologist Jennifer Bloch said. “Perhaps the tragic decline of this once-common human activity was the result of a major conflict, a radical generational shift, general malaise, or a conquering band that invaded the region and displaced the practitioners of this curious and remarkable lawmaking culture.”

“All we can say for certain is that this ancient practice appears to have been lost to the ages,” Bloch added.,36963/


Archeologists have just found,

While digging into the hard ground,

There were congressmen all around,

Whose accomplishments were renowned.


There once was a place made for laws,

Where folks garnered lots of applause,

No argument over each clause,

Causing a lot of locked jaws.


The folks there cooperated,

As they daily debated,

Laws were duly created,

But now the action has faded.


That practice appears to be lost,

The warmth has turned into frost,

Communications are crossed,

At a tremendous cost.


They don’t know why things have changed,

Lawmaking these days is strange,

Perhaps they’ve become deranged,

Things need to be rearranged.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Cannibals Couldn’t Cook Kerry


Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals


With the natives’ drumbeats suddenly falling silent as a mysterious midday darkness rolled across the island, sources confirmed that a solar eclipse occurred just in time Friday to stop imperiled U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry from being cooked alive by cannibals.

“See what you’ve done? I bring the darkness! I command the sun! I am a very powerful man!” Kerry reportedly shouted after quickly assessing the situation, causing the tribe’s shaman to cry out in fear and fall prostrate to the ground while several tribesmen hastily lowered the roasting spit on which they had been carrying the United States’ top diplomat toward a blazing fire.

“You cannot kill me, for I am a god! Release me now, and perhaps I will restore the light I have taken from you!” At press time, reports confirmed that the cannibals were reverently chanting the former Massachusetts senator’s name as they bore him on a luxurious sedan chair to a feast prepared in his honor.

Found @,36788/


Cannibals roasting John Kerry?

For him it must have been scary,

In addition to being contrary,

Making his entourage wary.

He’s lucky the sun went away,

Changing the outlook that day,

“I’m a god”, Kerry did say,

Fooling them was child’s play.

He told them he might give them light,

Ending the mysterious night,

To end the poor cannibal’s plight,

And improve their diminished sight.

After he used his quick wit,

They took him off of the spit,

Away from the burning pit,

To Kerry’s sole benefit.

After John’s status increased,

They gave him a wonderful feast,

Perhaps giving him roasted beast,

And soon after old John was released.

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Harrowing Hometown History

Man Visiting Hometown Amazed To Find All His Childhood Insecurities Still There

Childhoood home


While walking through his old neighborhood, Mansfield, OH, native Peter Grogan, 37, was reportedly surprised Thursday to find that each and every one of his childhood insecurities remains in his hometown.

“I was heading down Marion Avenue, where Jeff Bilderman used to pick on me every day, and noticed that my old anxieties, fears, and constant sense of shame are all still here,” Grogan told reporters, marveling that the dozens of uncertainties that plagued him throughout his adolescent and teenage years were still thriving exactly where he left them.

“I haven’t been back for long, but it doesn’t seem like my timidity and self-doubt have changed even a bit. And it looks like my feelings of inadequacy are still going strong, judging by the fears of rejection that came flooding back when I walked past my old high school. It’s all exactly the same as it was almost 20 years ago.”

Grogan added that the one difference he could identify was that walking through his hometown now fills him with newly established insecurities regarding his financial situation, relationship with his parents, and own impending mortality.

Found @:,36955/


Peter traveled back to his past,

To a place where his fears amassed,

His memories flooded him fast.

It is something that’s hard to grasp,


The man thought of Jeff, who was bad,

He picked on Pete, making him sad,

And often times making him mad,

Jeff’s gone now but Peter’s not glad.


Peter’s still filled with anxiety,

After life in that society,

Which lacked any real piety,

But, was fill with impropriety.


Peter’s still quite insecure,

A state he shouldn’t endure,

He really should search for a cure,

Now that he is much more mature.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Pondering Parental Predicament



Homeless man


Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents




With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay.

“I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead.

“And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.”

Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.

Found @,29486/



There is a man without a home,

Among the cold streets he does roam,

Not sure if he owns any phone,

He worries if his folks will groan.


They don’t know of his situation,

Where his meals are always rationed,

Like many folks across the nation.

Will it cause them aggravation?


What will he do with his folks,

Tell them some sad homeless jokes,

While his campfire he does stoke,

With apprehensive poker strokes?


There isn’t much for them to see,

A railway bridge, perhaps some trees,

Or maybe the spot where he pees,

If his parents do agree.


Perhaps he’ll be a boring host,

Who cannot offer them a roast,

Or even a slice of morning toast,

Nor drinks to raise and make a toast.


He’ll grab dinner from out the trash,

Then he will make a rapid dash,

To be gone in a silent flash,

Since he hasn’t got any cash.


That’s the life he lives today,

He has no home where he can stay,

Nor job which can provide some pay,

The future is not bright; it’s gray.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Bard’s Behavior Befuddling

shakespear play


Shakespeare could have been depressed when he wrote his finest and most puzzling works, the actor Simon Russell Beale has suggested, as he examines what inspired the playwright’s “torrent of bile” during a “bad patch”.

Russell Beale, the acclaimed stage actor, said two of Shakespeare’s plays are so extraordinary they must have signalled a darkness in his personal life.

Suggesting Timon of Athens and King Lear are so “savage” they must have been written during a “bad patch”, the actor argues Shakespeare may have “temporarily lost faith in human nature.”

Russell Beale has now examined the First Folio as part of a new BBC Four series, The Secret Life of Books.

Speaking of Timon of Athens, which some believe is unfinished, he said: “To my inexpert eye it looks potentially like rather a good play, but it must have been very depressing to write, “It’s as if Shakespeare can’t stop this flow of invective and bile, like a nervous tic. So perhaps, I’m suggesting, he himself was depressed. He temporarily lost faith in human nature.”

The actor, who has recently played Lear at the National Theatre, added even that play shows the “savage rewriting” of the ending, to kill off key characters and “obliterate a happy ending entirely”.

Comparing the early “quarto” version of the play with the later publication of the First Folio, he noted changes in the play he believes reflected a darkening of mood. “He deliberately changes the end, it seems to me the most savage rewriting of a source material that I can think of,” he said. I wonder if he was going through a bad patch. I know it’s a dangerous game to play, but I can’t believe you do something so violent to your source material as that without a personal investment of some kind.”

Sam Mendes, who directed Russell Beale in King Lear, added the material contains “shocking violence” and was a “truly dark play”.

Professor Sonia Massai, from King’s College London, told Russell Beale it was sensible to consider what was happening in Shakespeare’s life at the time he was writing. “It would be foolish to assume that there is no connection between biography and art,” she told him. “It’s not wise to think of Shakespeare as someone who would write in a kind of disembodied sort of fashion, as if he didn’t belong to a place and a time and a family group and friends and fellow actors, and would be unaffected by what happened around him.”

Examining Timon of Athens, which appears in the First Folio despite appearing incomplete, Russell Beale called it a “real puzzle”. “It’s a play I’ve very fond of but it’s a mess, famously,” he said. “Not printed before the First Folio, Timon of Athens is a profoundly ugly morality tales out foolishness, ingratitude and bad faith. The writing is vital, full -throated. But Timon of Athens is almost impossible to play because Timon’s torrent of bile goes on for what seems like an eternity. So what we have here, although it might look finished, is, I think, a draft. So why is it unfinished? What went wrong?”

He added: “I’ve never been able to convince myself that it’s unrelieved darkness is caused by anything as innocent as a lack of inspiration.”

Sir Nicholas Hytner, the artistic director of the National Theatre, agreed the play “doesn’t fit together”, but warned recent scholarship appeared to show it was written with a collaborator rather just reflecting Shakespeare’s inner turmoil. “At one stage, it was thought it was so fragmented because it reflected something of Shakespeare’s inner life, that he must have been undergoing a nervous breakdown,” he said. “More recent scholarship, pretty comprehensively, has established that it was a collaboration between Shakespeare and Middleton. It feels like somebody, maybe the two writers themselves or maybe the rest of the company, said this isn’t working.”

Story found@


Was Shakespeare really depressed,

Or just a bit over stressed,

When he was put to the test,

And wrote some of his best?


He wrote a “torrent of bile”,

Which didn’t bring much of a smile,

It was a change of his style,

Which lasted for a short while.


Was Shakespeare in a dark mood?

Yes, some modern scholars conclude,

When his great works are reviewed,

Or, was The Bard being shrewd?


Did life cause a heavy heart,

When practicing his fine art?

Or was he just being smart?

Can life and art be apart?


These questions have been raised,

About Shakespeare’s great plays,

For which he has been praised,

Right up to present days.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Cautious Cultural Contact

colleagues pic

Trailblazing Colleague Makes Historic Contact With People Who Work On Other Floor


In an unprecedented encounter with a culture heretofore shrouded in mystery, Northco Logistics customer service specialist Ryan Barlow reportedly established historic contact Wednesday with the people who work on his office complex’s fourth floor.

“I met this guy Kevin who said they’d been having the same problems with the air conditioner we’ve been having,” said the 28-year-old explorer in reference to the peaceful words of greeting he exchanged in the elevator with an inhabitant of QuestTech Learning Solutions, a meeting that to this point had been considered far too perilous to be undertaken.

“He also said they had some leftover food and cake from his coworker’s birthday and that we could stop by if we wanted. He seemed very friendly.”
Though admitting that no one had yet dared journey so far, the intrepid adventurer then regaled his colleagues with the legend of the remote and uncharted seventh floor, where there was rumored to exist a vast open layout and, according to lore, a ping-pong table

Found @,36311/


He met someone from another floor,
Something not seen before,
It wasn’t much of a chore,
He did establish rapport.

He is a history maker,
This company risk taker,
It wasn’t a deal breaker,
But maybe a hand shaker.

The man offered Ryan some cake,
Perhaps while he’s on his break,
An offer he might just take,
There wouldn’t be too much at stake.

Will Ryan do it again?
Risking some personal pain,
For some sociological gain.
Will his friends think him insane?

There are legends of things in that place,
Like floors with vast open space,
Maybe work done at a slower pace,
It’d be nice if that was the case.

It was a major breakthrough,
Something some others may do,
On higher floors with a good view,
Perhaps they’ll meet someone like you.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved

Sweat Seeker Sounds Silly


Warm Weather Finally Allows Man To Get Outside, Explore New Ways To Sweat


With the long winter over and summer weather finally arriving, local man Bill Klocek told reporters Thursday that he was glad to finally get out of the house, walk around a bit, and discover entirely new ways to sweat.

“This time of year, there are so many street fairs, farmers markets, and music festivals that offer great opportunities to just drench myself in my own sweat,” said Klocek, who added that he especially looks forward to perspiring heavily at restaurants with outdoor seating, on road trips, at baseball games, and at his parents’ cabin in Lake Geneva, WI.

“There’s really no excuse for avoiding it. Practically all you have to do is step out your front door and you can sweat completely through your shirt. My friend is having a party on his roof deck tonight, so I’m thinking about heading over and feeling sweat drip down my face and back at his place a little later.”
In addition to getting sweaty, Klocek stated that he also plans to set aside a little time this summer to explore entirely new ways to get sunburnt and thirsty.

Found @:,36265/And


A man wants to make himself sweat,
Imagine the looks he will get,
When he walks in the streets drenching wet.
It’s something I wouldn’t forget.

He’s looking for places to go,
Where his sweaty body will show,
When is sweat glands begin to flow,
Making his foul odor grow.

He want his sweat on his face,
Though it may be a disgrace,
He’ll show up at any hot place,
To sweat he’ll pick up the pace.

There’s something else that he yearns,
He also wants a sun burn,
He’ll follow the sun and he’ll turn,
For redness that he’ll surely earn.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: