Finding The Humor In Life|A Place for Laughs|Poetry|Humorous Stories…

Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Racy Ratings Rile Rejects


There’s a new dating app available now. It’s causing quite a stir.

Lulu lets women anonymously rate and share secrets about men.

It has about a million users.

Apparently, it’s upsetting both sexes.

 You log into the app through Facebook. If it recognizes that you’re a man, it automatically kicks you out.

However, if you’re a woman, it allows you to post reviews of men.

You can even assign a guy key phrases like “#HotStuff,” “#Dudecancook”.

There are other phrases which I won’t reveal since this is a “G” rated blog.

Some users  think it’s an easy way to take the guesswork out of dating.

Others people believe the app’s perverted . They say it demeans men as well as the women who use it.

What do you think?

 This news item was found at:

http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=6je6u3ssg8a3q

 

Hmmm….

An app where all men get kicked out?

I’d like to know what that’s about.

They just let the girls,

Give it a whirl,

How did they get all that clout?

 

The women objectify men,

They do it again and again,

The men have no say,

The women just play,

Maybe it’s about time, Amen!

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved.

Category:

Apps, Relationships

Tagged with:

Your “Horror”-scope for the week of June 3rd, 2012


Aries… Pluto and Mars are feuding again. You will find a note in your cereal. Follow it to the letter. Bring three forms of identification with you.

Taurus… Venus wants to leave the Zodiac and form her own circle. Wow, what luck! You will soon discover that you are related to a wealthy mollusk.

Gemini…  Mercury is on vacation right now. He’s visiting Pluto at his summer place on Fire Island. Stay alert. You will awaken to find yourself swimming in a vat of hollandaise sauce.

Cancer… Saturn is up to no good. You will soon meet a rapper who will teach you how to rhyme in Rumanian.

Leo… The lion, which dominates your sign, ate a large bird. His in a foul mood. It’s an indication you should give your BFF another chance. Even goats need a little loving now and then.

Virgo… Pices the Fish is in your house. Smell it? There’s a good chance you will fall in love with a mullet.

Libra… Saturn is excited over a smile from Mars. Too bad for you. You’ll miss a week of work after you slip and fall on someone’s oily T-zone.

Scorpio… Pluto is flirting with Uranus again. Feel free to dunk your head in a bowl of cake batter this week.

Sagittarius… Mars is mutable and in trine with Neptune. You will be kidnapped by a gang of angry gerbils.

Capricorn… Saturn is in line with Mercury this week. This is a rare event. You will have the unstoppable urge to shout the word “thighs” in public.

Aquarius… Neptune and Jupiter are arguing over which one should pick up the check at dinner. You will find yourself the center of attention when you arrive at work dressed as a newt.

Pisces…Venus is in a stinky mood. She’s prepping for a colonoscopy. That is a bad sign. You will be locked in a closet by a garden gnome. All the air will be removed with a straw.

Remember what Weird Al says about Astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Advice, Astrology, horoscope, Humor, Lifestyles, Observations, Predictions, Relationships, The future

Tagged with:

Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 20th, 2012


Aries… Your ruling planet, Mars is facing an uprising from the serfs. You will find yourself very uncomfortable after your laundry comes back with too much starch.

Taurus… Venus thinks Scorpio cheated in a game of Go fish. You will soon wake up with a feeling of dread when you discover you’ve become a pound of camembert cheese.

Gemini… A Mutable Mercury is quite clear now. You have permission to frolic in creamed corn with Dennis Miller.

Cancer… Your Zodiac sign has been defaced with graffiti. Rubbing butter on your aardvark will help you both to cope with life’s problems.

Leo… Aquarius is co-tangent to your ruling sun. Consult with a mathematician on this one. It forecasts stochastics in your life.

Scorpio… Taurus is in conjunction with Mars. Take that dead herring out of your glove compartment.

Virgo… There is a negative polarity with Pices now. Once again it’s time to spread strawberry preserves on your jowls.

Libra… Aries is in the seventh house for a Tupperware party. You will be arrested for illegal possession of an anchovy.

Sagittarius…Jupiter is opposite Neptune on your chart. A Congressman will accuse your spleen of treason.

Capricorn… Saturn and Venus are at odds again. You better polish your forehead with Turtle Wax to avoid the fallout.

Aquarius…Uranus and Saturn are both in the seventh house.  You will soon find yourself locked in a Sponge Bob lunchbox.

Pisces… Neptune and Jupiter are plotting against you. Quick! Attend a costume party dressed as an eel.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would haveto be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Advice, animals, Astrology, Body Parts, Developments, Health, horoscope, Humor, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, New Trends, News, news, Observations, Planets, Politics, Predictions, problelms, Recommendations, Relationships, Signs, Space, surprise, The future

Tagged with:

Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 13th, 2012


Aries… Venus is upset with Mars because he hasn’t called her after their first date. Don’t make any long range plans until they make up. Stayed tuned.

Taurus… Uranus is in trine with your rubber ducky. That indicates luck. For instance, you won’t be home when that semi plows into your residence.

Gemini… Mercury is rising fast. Just hope it doesn’t get light headed. Your astrology chart indicates, “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

Cancer… Your moon is in its fourth house. It’s hiding from bill collectors. Your BFF will appreciate the gift card you gave her until she discovers it’s expired.

Leo… Aquarius is blocking the sun indicating a current medical condition. Don’t panic! We checked with the Ouija board. They’re just saddle sores.

Virgo… Mercury is now mutable. How nice. You will be stalked by a Smartphone app.

Libra… Keep plenty of cash on hand. Your moon in Virgo says a man dressed in a coyote costume will ask you to break a twenty at the start of your shift.

Scorpio… Mars is traversing Jupiter’s front yard and he’s not happy about it. Under no circumstances should you go fishing with jail bait.

Sagittarius… Jupiter is mutable now. Venus’ house is in foreclosure. Stay away from Blue-Footed Boobies.

Capricorn… Your symbol is the goat. Your moon is in the tenth house doing minor renovations in the kitchen. If you really want to make tomorrow’s headlines, go ahead and marry that hamster you’ve been dating.

Aquarius… Your ruling planets, Uranus and Saturn are practical jokesters. You will embarrass yourself this week when you fall face down onto a porcupine.

Pisces…Neptune and Jupiter are mutable now. Your urge to frolic at the beach will end in disaster when you slip on an oily fat man sunbathing. BTW, don’t ask for his autograph.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Advice, Apps, Astrology, counseling, horoscope, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, News, Observations, Phones, Planets, Predictions, problelms, Recommendations, Relationships, Signs, surprise, Suspense, The future

Tagged with:

Your Horror-scope for the week of May 6th, 2012


Aries… Mars is favorable right now. Exercise will be good for you, especially after your bypass surgery.

Taurus… The Moon is in trine with Jupiter. Clean those party snacks out of your sinuses.

Gemini…  This is your lucky week. Uranus is on the cusp with Venus and she likes it. You will be invited to play whist with a retired mud wrestler who cheats at cards.

Cancer… Good news for you. Pluto is petitioning to become a planet again. Stop using that face cream on your wrinkles. Your mate loves the look of a Shar-Pei.

Leo… Aries is in cancer this week. Your musical talent will improve when you get a new kazoo.

Virgo… There’s  a Moon-Mars union in Virgo. Your love triangle will be cut short with a noisy chain saw.

Libra… The asteroid Zorgo is in opposition to Mars. You’ll finally meet the love of your life… at the gorilla encounter.

Scorpio… Saturn casts a shadow on your life. You’ll feel much better after you put Post Toasties in your underwear.

Sagittarius… Neptune has just been realigned by a car mechanic. You will not be mugged this week. But, it will happen.

Capricorn… A waxing moon indicates you will be overcome by your own flatulence.

Aquarius… Uranus and Saturn are at odds over a poker hand. It’s time to get rid of those piercings. Your dream of a circus career will never materialize.

Pisces…The Sun will be in Venus soon. Your idea for a Mother’s Day gift is practical. But does she really need a post hole digger?

BTW… Remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Astrology, counseling, Developments, Family, friends, holidays, Home, horoscope, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, News, Observations, Predictions, problelms, Recommendations, Relationships, surprise, The future

Tagged with:

Your Horrorscope for the week of April 30, 2012


Aries… Venus is nearing a new moon. The secret to your success is in your landlady’s x-rays.

Taurus… You will become famous when you prove you can eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Gemini…  Your “EX” will come crawling back on his hands and knees. He wants the twenty dollars you took from his wallet.

Cancer… Go ahead. Eat that chocolate. At this point, another box isn’t going to hurt.

Leo… Be sure to make that tennis date with your new client. It will be worth the broken elbow and scrapped knees.

Virgo… Jupiter  is nearing its cusp with a quarter moon. It’s time for new arch supports.

Libra… That pony tail looks good on you. Do you think that poor colt will miss it?

Scorpio… Mercury in trine with a new moon indicates your dry cleaner will lose your best suit.

Sagittarius… Venus is now dating Mars. You’ll find more cocktail franks in your pajamas.

Capricorn… Taking the bag off your head will get the same result…Laughs!

Aquarius… Forget the makeup. Your police mug shot will look terrible anyway.

Pisces…Your rich uncle will leave you a fortune. It’s buried somewhere on his ten thousand acre ranch.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Advice, Astrology, horoscope, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, Predictions, problelms, Recommendations, Relationships, The future

Tagged with:

Here is your Horror-Scope for the week of April 29th, 2012


Aries… You came up with the winning Power Ball numbers. Unfortunately they’re under twenty tons of trash right now.

Taurus… The stars have crossed. Love is in the air. You will have a heavy date soon. Hope you like sumo wrestlers.

Gemini… Leo is on the cusp and is about to mix it up with your best friend.  That means your speech impediment can easily be cured. Just take your foot out of your mouth.

Cancer… Libra’s trine with wine indicates you should have that surgery. Half a brain is better than none.

Leo… Pluto’s alignment at the auto center tells us you cannot find your perfect match. So, rub two sticks together.

Virgo… Neptune is angry with Virgo because he left cracker crumbs in bed again. You will be stalked by a leg of lamb on the hunt for a great mint sauce recipe.

Libra… Act quickly Libras. The moons of Mars are rising fast. So are gas prices.

Scorpio… Soon Jupiter will align with Mars. That’s when they will plot against you.

Sagittarius… A Virgo moon in trine with Jupiter and Neptune will prompt you to smear ointment on your neighbor’s jowls.  Do it already!

Capricorn… Your Virgo moon is in retrograde. You should change your underwear immediately.

Aquarius… Leo is in opposition to your moon over Miami. You’re right. The best place to trace your family tree is at the monkey house.

Pisces…Gemini tendencies are tempting you. Listen to that wise old owl. After all, he is in, “Who’s Hoo”.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictionsare all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

Advice, Astrology, horoscope, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Lifestyles, Predictions, Relationships

Tagged with:

No Bull Here!


I have anger issues.

Category:

Anger, animals, Bulls, counseling, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, Observations, Philosophy, problelms, Relationships, Tension

Tagged with:

Stop Flying in the House (corrected)


How many times have I told you kids, no flying in the house?

Category:

Cartoons, Family, Flying, Home, Humor, jokes, Kids, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, Observations, Philosophy, problelms, Relationships, Super Heros

Tagged with:

Your HORRORSCOPE for the Week of April 15th, 2012


Aries… Your million dollar plan for edible Pampers is a bad idea.

Taurus… You will be held for questioning by the Vice Squad after you touch your inner child.

Gemini…  A new job is coming your way. Soon you’ll be a scarecrow on a fish farm.

Cancer… You’ll overcome your fear of eggs, but not Canadian bacon.

Leo… Fame and riches will be yours with your fabulous quote, “The hands of fate need a manicure.”

Virgo… Eat plenty of greens to get your chloro-fill.

Libra… It’s in the stars. You will fall in love with an Armenian shepherd.

Scorpio… This week, someone will point to you and say, “You rock.” So get your sledge hammer ready.

Sagittarius… Eloping is not the answer. They’ll spot the elephant miles away.

Capricorn… You will be delivered into the hands of your enemies by a midwife.

Aquarius… Cash in on your oily T Zone. It could keep you in gasoline for a year.

Pisces…Relax. Take time to smell your armpits.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictionsare all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Category:

counseling, horoscope, Humor, jokes, Laughs, Life, Lifestyles, News, Observations, police, problelms, Relationships, surprise, The future

Tagged with:

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: