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Posts tagged ‘Apps’

App Appreciated And Applauded


 App miles

Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What

LOS ALTOS, CA—

Having reached nearly 2 million downloads within its first month of release, the new smartphone app ProMiler has quickly become one of the nation’s most popular exercise tools by informing users that they ran five miles each day no matter what, the app’s creators told reporters Friday.

“With ProMiler, achieving your exercise goals is as simple as turning on your device in the morning and being notified that you’ve already run five miles,” ProMiler spokesman John Lyons said while demonstrating the app, which uses advanced GPS technology to display a new, randomly generated five-mile running route near the user’s location every day.

“The more you take advantage of ProMiler, the better runner you become, as the app automatically reduces your running time by several seconds per day. And with our ‘Calories Burned’ counter staying fixed at the number 1,000 each day, 100 percent of our users report hitting their fitness targets. The results speak for themselves.”

Officials added that the app comes pre-synced with Facebook, allowing users to automatically post their time and running route on their feed for all their friends to see.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/popular-new-exercise-app-just-tells-users-they-ran,37096/

Hmmm…

The Promiler app is now here,

It may cause some people to cheer,

It says you’ve run miles,

Which brings lots of smiles,

Then you’re ready to have a cold beer.

 

It tells you that you have just run,

It logs in the miles; oh what fun,

It’s something to get,

For miles to be met,

It tells all your friends what you’ve done.

 

It registers calories burned,

But not the applause that you’ve earned,

It’s something to try,

On health you rely,

So surely you should be concerned.

 

The device is designed to please,

You ran without even a wheeze,

The app does the work,

While you wear a smirk,

And dig in to burgers with cheese.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Racy Ratings Rile Rejects


There’s a new dating app available now. It’s causing quite a stir.

Lulu lets women anonymously rate and share secrets about men.

It has about a million users.

Apparently, it’s upsetting both sexes.

 You log into the app through Facebook. If it recognizes that you’re a man, it automatically kicks you out.

However, if you’re a woman, it allows you to post reviews of men.

You can even assign a guy key phrases like “#HotStuff,” “#Dudecancook”.

There are other phrases which I won’t reveal since this is a “G” rated blog.

Some users  think it’s an easy way to take the guesswork out of dating.

Others people believe the app’s perverted . They say it demeans men as well as the women who use it.

What do you think?

 This news item was found at:

http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=6je6u3ssg8a3q

 

Hmmm….

An app where all men get kicked out?

I’d like to know what that’s about.

They just let the girls,

Give it a whirl,

How did they get all that clout?

 

The women objectify men,

They do it again and again,

The men have no say,

The women just play,

Maybe it’s about time, Amen!

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved.

Apps Actually Acquiring Advantage


According to Kim Komando…

http://www.komando.com/tips/index.aspx?id=13912&utm_medium=nl&utm_source=notd&utm_content=2013-02-15-article_1-cta

Apps you use every day could be taking advantage of you by stealing your data without you knowing it.

Researchers compared the top 100 apps on the Google Play store and found that many of them ask for your location information, contact lists and identifying details about your gadget.

Which apps are the worst of the bunch? Researchers said these 10 took the most information.

  • Talking Tom Virtual Pet
  • Backgrounds HD Wallpaper
  • Dictionary.com
  • Mouse Trap
  • Horoscope
  • Shazam
  • Pandora
  • Google Maps
  • Brightest Flashlight

It makes sense that an app like Google Maps would need your location information.

The folks behind Brightest Flashlight did not immediately respond to questions about why a flashlight app would need it.

If you use these apps, make sure to check out the app pages in the Google Play store.

Google makes developers reveal what permissions they ask for.

So, use caution when ordering Apps.

Hmmm…

Be careful when buying some Apps

Right now they’re causing some flaps,

They collect your stats,

When you do this and that,

Even when looking at maps.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Sneaky Smartphone Spyware Snoops


According to CNBC, http://www.cnbc.com/id/100431624 there is a new Android App out there disguised as a “Droid Cleaner”.

It can attack your smart phone and your PC.

Once installed on your device, it can spy on you.

The malware was discovered by the Kaspersky security company.

The app which is found in the Google Play app store, is touted as a tool to free up memory in Google’s operating system.

It can also find its way into a PC as well if users plug an infected device into a PC with a USB drive.

The bug takes over the microphone on a PC and uses it to eavesdrop on users. When a sound is picked up by the mike it records the audio and sends it to the cyber criminals.

However, if a user has a current version of Microsoft Windows the malware should not get into the PC.

Apparently, the spy junk is only targeting older versions of Windows. The PC attack is really focused at users that are using older versions of Microsoft Windows.

 

The spyware can do the following in an infected device:

  • Sending SMS messages
  • Enabling Wi-Fi
  • Gathering information about the device
  • Opening arbitrary links in a browser
  • Uploading the SD card’s entire contents
  • Uploading all SMS messages
  • Deleting all SMS messages
  • Uploading all the contacts/photos/coordinates from the device master.

Hmmm…

There’s an app that spies thru your phone,

It’s a sneaky thing like an air drone.

It uploads your stuff,

And if that’s not enough,

It won’t leave your PC alone.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Texter’s Terrible Timing Turns Into Tumble


A woman fell off a 60 foot cliff while texting.

She suffered multiple injuries as a result.

I think she also fractured her reputation.

Too bad she didn’t have a jet pack smart phone app.

Then again, she probably wouldn’t have thought of using it.

We are not sure who she was texting at the time. It might have been her Guardian Angel.

Hmmm…

A text-er fell off a cliff,

She’s lucky that she’s not a stiff,

A sixty foot fall,

While making a call,

It’s something that we can all riff.

Can Apple now be called Crapple?


There’s trouble in Apple’s App City.

Apple’s iOS apps are becoming unstable and/or crashing. It happens after updates, or downloads. It affects games like Angry Birds Space and Instapaper.

The app developers are blaming Apple.

What’s the big deal? There’s always at least one bad app-le in every basket.

Hmmm

Apple’s apps are now gone a crashing,

Now people are into Apple bashing;

They’re red in the face,

Like those Birds out in Space,

And the competition can’t keep from laughing.

 

Here doggie, doggie.


Japanese toy maker Bandai has created their version of a Smart dog. The gadget uses a free app to turn your iPhone into a walking, barking puppy. You attach your phone to the dog mechanism, turn on the app and have fun. See it at:

http://www.tvkim.com/watch/1850/kims-picks-japanese-robot-dogs?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=notd&utm_content=2012-03-27-article&utm_campaign=end-h

My take on this is…

A guy with an iPhone got lucky,

He turned it into a cute puppy;

It barks and it walks,

Too bad it can’t talk,

The next thing he wants is a guppy.

 

Stop Calling My Arm!


Nokia is developing a tattoo ink that can sense when your phone is ringing and cause your skin to vibrate. The technology would require a minor surgical procedure.

My take on that…

A guy got a tat on his arm,

It’s a phone app that sounds an alarm;

When his phone starts to ring,

It vibrates that thing,

It’s one of technology’s charms.

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