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Posts tagged ‘Candy’

Boy Bemused By Bonbons


candy boy

Pudgy Doughboy With Rosy Red Cheeks Presses Nose Up Against Window Of Chocolate Shop

BOSTON

His woolen mittens dangling from the ends of his sleeves and his mouth partially agape in breathless wonder, a pudgy doughboy with rosy red cheeks is currently pressing his round button nose up against the display window of a local chocolate shop, sources confirmed.

The astonished butterball, his cheeks aglow in the biting cold, is reportedly flattening his plump face right up against the shop window, occasionally wiping the fog from the steamed-up glass as he gazes longingly at the sugary confections contained within, his mind dancing with possibility, his eyes wide with wonder.

According to sources, the sight of a fresh tray of bonbons being carried ever so tantalizingly to a display table near the front of the store has caused the transfixed doughboy’s eyes to glaze over in an almost narcotic stupor of yearning and delight.

Reports have also confirmed that the intoxicating aromas of melted chocolate, sweet cream, and fresh puff pastry wafting out of the shop’s just opened door have merged in midair to form a veritable olfactory symphony in the roly-poly tot’s imagination, each delectable scent drawing the little piglet’s flushed cheeks closer still to the glass, an inaudible “Wow!” forming on his drool-glistened lips.

At press time, the doughboy’s impatient mother was grabbing him by his coat sleeve and rushing him hurriedly along down the street.

Found @:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/pudgy-doughboy-with-rosy-red-cheeks-presses-nose-u,34792/?ref=auto

Hmmm…
A young man just loves all sweets,
He likes to consume the treats;
He looks on and dreams,
Of sugary creams,
Like candies, and pastries to eat.

On the glass he presses his nose,
As his sweet anticipation grows;
The scent of it’s nice,
Like sugar and spice,
He’d devour them all I suppose.

The kid’s a bit over weight,
He walks with an overweight gait,
The sweets make him fat,
His stomach’s not flat,
But he thinks his shape is just great.

His dear mother pulls him away,
From his intoxicating gaze;
He can’t see the stuff,
His mother’s so rough,
He must wait for another day.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Your HORROR – scope for the week of Feb 10th, 2013


Well this week hosts one of our favorite specials days.

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.

According to Random Facts, “The term “love” is from the Sanskrit lubhyati, meaning “desire.” http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/08/04_love.html

They also report, “The enduring symbol of love, Cupid (or Eros) is said to have come from Chaos (“The Yawning Void”) and represents the primitive forces of love and desire.”

After an exhaustive search, we determined that there are between thirty and three thousand songs with the word “love” in the title.

We know, that’s a bit vague, but love tends to be that way sometimes.

If someone knows the exact number, feel free to post it.

So, just for you, the planets aligned themselves in the exact order to provide you with personal predictions of love.

You’ve probably heard of the saying, “Love makes the world go round”.

We are here to help you find satisfaction in your pursuit of love this week.

Isn’t love great?

Aries… You will awaken to discover that you beloved beta fish has left you for a neon tetra.

Taurus… You may think you love that zombie, but you are dead wrong.

Gemini… Your love for a dust mite is fine, but don’t expect it to pick up the check when dining out.

Cancer… Calling you lover a pet name is nice, but you should reconsider the name, Fido.

Leo…. You will be trapped in a love triangle with two Game Wardens.

Virgo… You will be attracted to a lion tamer, a computer gamer and a constant blamer.

Libra… Your family will be stunned to discover that your new lover is a jelly fish.

Scorpio… Remember this. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Sagittarius… Your confusion over who to choose as a love interest may not be obvious to you, but it’s quite clear to us when our choices are either Dennis Miller or a serial killer.

Capricorn… You will be gambling with love if you keep seeing that blackjack dealer.

Aquarius… Just because you are interested marathon races doesn’t mean your love interest wants to run off with you.

Pisces… Think about it. Are you really sure you want to marry a parasite?

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

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