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Posts tagged ‘College’

Education Earns Exactly $11.00


30-Year-Old Has Earned $11 More Than He Would Have Without College Education

DUBLIN, OH—

After accounting for the cost of tuition, four years of lost earning potential, and the minimal increase in salary an undergraduate degree provides, 30-year-old local man Patrick Moorhouse has, at this point in his life, earned $11 more than he would have had he not attended college at all, an independent study confirmed today.

“All told, Patrick’s B.A. in Political Science translates to about $5,000 more in annual wages, but when you account for his student loan payments, including his 6 percent interest rate, his degree from a respected four-year university amounts to slightly more than 10 extra bucks in his wallet,” said researcher Ken Overton, adding that had Moorhouse been accepted to his more prestigious first-choice college, his earnings would have totaled $54 more than if he had never enrolled in higher education.

“If Patrick had started working straight out of high school, he would have had slightly fewer job options than he does now, but living at home instead of a dorm or student apartment even just those first two years would have added at least $16,000 in total savings, which pretty much evens things out.
All in all, the countless hours Patrick spent stressing about getting into school and then working hard to succeed in college have been more or less a financial wash.”
The study noted, however, that one cannot ever truly put a price on the 12 Post-WWII European History lectures Moorhouse attended junior year.

Found@:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/30yearold-has-earned-11-more-than-he-would-have-wi,34824/

Hmmm…

There was a young man from Dublin,
Whose college tuition kept doublin’;
He stayed on at school,
Perhaps a real fool,
The thought of it all now is troublin’.

Is college still worth the high price?
Or is it a throw of the dice?
The cost is so great,
And you study sooo late,
You live on noodles and rice.

Is it better to just work instead?
Sans exams that you really dread?
Live a life without pressure,
In places much fresher,
Is no college ed. something you dread?

Should you spend your youth money earning?
Instead of the midnight light burning,
No dull classes to take,
For education’s sake,
It’s a thought which keeps on returning.

It’s a choice that you have to make,
Think about it while you’re on your break,
Should you spend all that cash?
From a bank’s private stash?
The rest of your life is at stake.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Cloaked College Kid Causes Confusion


COLUMBUS, OH

Saying that he’s “gonna have to keep an eye on that one,” Ohio State University Resident Assistant, Scott Joachim confirmed Wednesday that he is “not getting a good vibe” from the freshman student on his floor who wears a cloak at all times.

“It’s hard enough being a freshman in the first weeks of school and trying to find your identity, but on top of all that this kid’s gotta throw a cloak in the mix?” said Joachim of the 18-year old student who is reportedly registered under the name Tim Estrin but, on the rare occasions that he has spoken with hallmates, has introduced himself only as “Damien.”

“And he’s not wearing the cloak in a humorous, quirky way, either. He’s clearly dead serious. Everyone in the whole dorm just calls him Cloak Kid.”

At press time, a relieved Joachim saw the student entering his room with a young woman who was also wearing a cloak.

This was found at:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ra-has-bad-feeling-about-kid-in-cloak,33745/

Hmmm…

A freshman’s wearing a cloak,
It’s true, it’s not just a joke;
The kid is quite serious,
He isn’t delirious,
My laughing has caused me to choke.

The RA is not very happy,
He may think the cloak is quite crappy,
The kid’s name is Damien,
We don’t know who named him,
He might think his cloak is just snappy.

“Cloak Kid” has been seen with a girl,
Her cloak has been seen to unfurl,
She goes in his room,
To share in his gloom?
Will the RA lower the boom?

2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved

Dollars Deliver Dubious Degrees


An inventor named Sebastian Thrun wants to make on-line college, graduate degrees available for about one hundred U.S. dollars.

He started something called Udacity for that purpose.

According to a Google search, Udacity is not accredited.

The Udacity site indicates, “For Udacity to offer a full computer science degree they would need to gain accreditation which is nearly impossible for an online school.

Hmmm…

You can now buy an on-line degree,

“You’re a PhD.” they decree.

Just give them some cash,

A degree in a flash,

A scam to a degree, do you agree?

BTW, if anyone wants a degree from me, just send $50.00 in a cashier’s check to: Dandy Degrees for Me, C/O Humorous Interludes, P.O. Box Something-Something, Somewhere Down The Road. 00000-0000

Wicked Work Worries Wikipedia


A Mason University Professor who teaches a course called, “Lying About the Past” apparently got his students to post fictitious articles on Wikipedia since 2008. They recently got caught in their scheme.

Hmmm….

There is an old Prof. who was lying,

What he wrote, the public was buying;

It was lying he taught,

But now he’s been caught,

Lying’s something he won’t soon be trying.

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