Finding The Humor In Life|A Place for Laughs|Poetry|Humorous Stories…

Posts tagged ‘Computers’

Your HORROR – scope for the week of: March 23rd, 2014


horoscope chart

Hi there friends.

It’s time for another look into the future.

The past is now behind us and It’s very upset because it couldn’t catch up.

We are stuck in the present, and to make matters worse, it’s an unwrapped present.

Oh well, I guess we have to keep marching on.

Good luck and have a great life.

Here is your Horror-scope for this week.

Aries… Neptune is angry with Aries because he left cracker crumbs in bed again. Someone wants to cherish you forever…by putting you in plastic resin.

Taurus… Soon Jupiter will align with Mars but won’t be happy about it. Be on the alert. Some people will try to void you, others will try to avoid you. Some will ask you to listen to Dennis Miller.

Gemini… Your Gemini moon is in retrograde again. You will become confused and tell everyone you meet, that The Game of Thrones involves toilet fixtures.

Cancer… Your stars have crossed in an illegal manner and have been ticketed by the Solar Police. You will have the uncontrollable urge to tighten a loose woman.

Leo… Libra’s trine with wine but prefers sherry. You will put so much fiber into your body that you will become a place mat for your table.

Virgo… A Virgo moon is on the cusp of Jupiter and Neptune Your next haircut will end in shear madness.

Libra… Leo is in opposition to your mooning in Miami. You will soon suffer from sulphur while taking a selfie.

Scorpio… Scorpio is on the cusp of The Moon. You will write a bestselling book called, “Cooking With Cobwebs”.

Sagittarius… Sagittarius is on the cusp of The Sun and is about to go into retrograde. You will date a clown, then become a ringmaster in a flea circus.

Capricorn… Pluto’s alignment at the auto center tells us that in the future you will be shocked to see your electrolysis bill.

Aquarius… Your stars have crossed their legs again. Your enemies are planning to involve you in a chain reaction.

Pisces… The Earth is trine with the square of Orion. You will be thrown out of a cabinet makers office when you ask for a stool sample.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Times Temper Tested Twice


The NY Times was hacked for the second time this month.

It’s working to make its website available again for all readers after it was disrupted by a group calling itself the Syrian Electronic Army in an exploit that also affected Twitter.

The group disrupted traffic to the websites by hacking yesterday into registration-services provider Melbourne IT Ltd. (MLB), which handles the online addresses of nytimes.com and twitter.co.uk, according to Tony Smith, a spokesman for the Melbourne-based company.

The Times instructed readers who can’t access its home page to go to an alternate site.

Some users initially reported being redirected to the Syrian group’s sites. Many were simply unable to access the pages at all.

 

The Syrian Electronic Army, which backs the country’s president, Bashar al-Assad, has also claimed responsibility for hacking the Washington Post this month and the Financial Times in early May, redirecting readers to its own websites and videos.

“The credentials of a Melbourne IT reseller (username and password) were used to access a reseller account on Melbourne IT’s systems,” Smith wrote in an e-mail. He said the login information was obtained through phishing, a technique used to obtain private data by imitating legitimate websites.

It may take time before all users can get normal access to the newspaper’s site, Smith said. Times employees have been instructed to use caution when sending sensitive e-mails, the newspaper said.

Found at:   http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-08-28/ny-times-twitter-web-address-data-hacked-by-syrian-group.html

Hmmm…

The Syrians attacked again,

Subscribers again complained;

They did it times two,

Who’s next? Maybe you,

We’re sorry’s the current refrain.

 

The Syrians did some Phishing,

For data they were a whishing;

They went through Melbourne,

Resulting in scorn,

The Times must be Syrian dissing.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved.

Racy Ratings Rile Rejects


There’s a new dating app available now. It’s causing quite a stir.

Lulu lets women anonymously rate and share secrets about men.

It has about a million users.

Apparently, it’s upsetting both sexes.

 You log into the app through Facebook. If it recognizes that you’re a man, it automatically kicks you out.

However, if you’re a woman, it allows you to post reviews of men.

You can even assign a guy key phrases like “#HotStuff,” “#Dudecancook”.

There are other phrases which I won’t reveal since this is a “G” rated blog.

Some users  think it’s an easy way to take the guesswork out of dating.

Others people believe the app’s perverted . They say it demeans men as well as the women who use it.

What do you think?

 This news item was found at:

http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=6je6u3ssg8a3q

 

Hmmm….

An app where all men get kicked out?

I’d like to know what that’s about.

They just let the girls,

Give it a whirl,

How did they get all that clout?

 

The women objectify men,

They do it again and again,

The men have no say,

The women just play,

Maybe it’s about time, Amen!

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved.

Surprise Supercomputer Sizzles


From BBC News

“A China-based supercomputer has leapfrogged rivals to be named the world’s most powerful system.

Tianhe-2, developed by the government-run National University of Defense Technology, topped the latest list of the fastest 500 supercomputers, by a team of international researchers.

Chinese officials said the news was a “surprise” since the system had not been expected to be ready until 2015.

China last held the top rank for supercomputers between November 2010 and June 2011.

Tianhe-2 ( meaning Milky Way-2) operates at 33.86 petaflop/sec, the equivalent of 33,860 trillion calculations per second.

The benchmark measures real-world performance – but in theory the machine hit a “peak performance” of 54.9 petaflop/sec.

The project was sponsored by the Chinese government’s 863 High Technology Program. It’s an effort to make the country’s hi-tech industries more competitive and less dependent on overseas rivals.

Chinese officials said it intends to install the equipment at the National Supercomputer Center in Guangzhou, based in the country’s south-eastern Guangdong province, where it will be offered as a “research and education” resource to southern China.

The machine uses a total of 3.12 million processor cores, using Intel’s Ivy Bridge and Xeon Phi chips to carry out its calculations.

According to the list, the US has the world’s second and third fastest supercomputers, Titan and Sequoia, while Japan’s K computer drops to fourth spot.”

See more at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-22936989

 

Hmmm… 

China’s got a super computer,

It’s not for your average commuter,

It’s stored in a center,

Where very few enter,

It’s nothing you’ll see at a Hooters.

 

It does trillions of calcs in a wink,

That’s faster than humans can think,

Intel’s found in its brain,

It’s so fast, it’s insane,

Now they’ll hack us before we can blink.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Dangerous Distraction Drains Dollars


Hackers want to install a very nasty virus in your computer. Nastier than Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross.

The thought of it makes me shiver.

A very dangerous Trojan (worse than a virus) is making the rounds on Facebook.

It’s sneaky.

It behaves like a virus in some ways, it can be much more dangerous to you and your loved ones. It’s kind of like the government.

If this nasty Trojan infects your device, it can find your bank account and drain all of your cash.

And,  it spreads from people you know and trust. YIKES!

Though the virus is almost a decade old, it’s still active and very dangerous.

Having security software helps, but it’s not bulletproof. There’s still a chance that it can make its way around your anti-virus software.

Am I scaring you yet?

The best way to prevent this potential catastrophe is to avoid it.

Make sure you share this tip with all of your friends and family on Facebook!

You definitely don’t want this dangerous virus stealing their cash! You may need to borrow some of it from them in the future.

The malware in question is called “Zeus.” In most cases, it looks like a funny or shocking video one of your friends posted. It may be posted on their page or in a message to you.

No, it’s not a video of your first birthday party when your diaper fell off and your face was smeared in chocolate cake. It’s worse than that. Worse than your mother-in-law’s plot against you.

Once you click the link to the “video,” it will tell you that you need to update the player to watch it.

When you try to do that, (update the player) you download the virus. Tricky little devils aren’t they.

When you click the “Play” button, you’re actually clicking “Like” on the virus page. It will spread the link to all of your friends to try to infect them.

I knew there was something very suspicious about that “Like” button.

Don’t fall for it. If you get a message from your friend about such a video, ask them if they meant to send it. If they giggle when they answer you, well, they probably did sent it.

In most cases, they won’t even know that they are spamming you (though I’m sure many of them would love to spam you).

From what I understand, you can also search the title of the video in question on Google, YouTube, or by consulting your local witch doctor.

If nothing turns up, you’ll know the video is a scam, or they’re all in on it too.

Oh no.  It’s a conspiracy!

Hmmm…

Malware is still all around,

Trojans and viruses abound,

They’ll steal all your money,

And, honey that’s not funny,

Prevention can always be found.

 

Don’t fall for a trick or a con,

Your security should always be on,

Don’t download that spam,

Or you’ll be in a jam,

The conclusion is all but forgone.

 © 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

See more at: http://www.komando.com/coolsites/index.aspx?id=14620&utm_medium=nl&utm_source=alerts&utm_content=2013-06-05-article-in-body-d#sthash.dP0ionKU.dpuf

Posts Prevent Peoples’ Potential Progress


A young woman didn’t know that a festive photo of her holding both a pint of beer and a glass of red wine would lead to her losing her high school teaching job.

The 24-year-old educator posted the image to her Facebook profile, and after a parent complained, school officials told her she’d have to choose between resigning and suspension. She resigned.

If those same school officials were hiring and found a candidate with a similar photo shared on the social Web, it’s most likely that person wouldn’t even get an interview.

According to a new report, turning down young job candidates because of what they post on social media has become commonplace. The report, (On Device Research), states that 1 in 10 people between ages 16 and 34 have been turned down for a new job because of photos or comments on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and other social networking sites.

Ten percent of young people said they knew they were rejected from a job because of their social media profiles, yet 66 percent of young people still don’t seem to care that these profiles may affect their career prospects.

The majority of young people cater their social media presence to friends rather than potential employers, according to On Device Research.

Several U.S. states have created laws to protect employees from being fired because of what they post on social media. In January, six U.S. States officially made it illegal for employers to ask their workers for passwords to their social media accounts.

It’s unclear how many employers have demanded access to workers’ online accounts, but some cases have surfaced publicly and inspired lively debate over the past year. In one instance last year, a teacher’s aide in Michigan was suspended after refusing to provide access to her Facebook account following complaints over a picture she posted.

 

Hmmm…

We should all watch what we post,

Whether photos, comments or boasts,

Some employers are snoopers,

They seek out our bloopers,

When we broadcast them from coast to coast.

 

We may think we’re cool when we post things,

But they could hit us hard like a bee sting,

Competition is tough,

Some employers are rough,

So be careful when you do that spring fling.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Dates Data Determine Desirability


In a recent survey, (I lost the site reference, sorry.) it was determined that about 50 percent of women and 38 percent of men use Facebook to research their dates before meeting with them.

Additionally, 50 percent of women and 30 percent of men say they’d definitely cancel a scheduled date with someone if they found something they didn’t like about the person.

The survey also found that almost 50 percent of men don’t appreciate women checking on them prior to dating.

Gee. I wonder why the men oppose it.

What could they be hiding?

What have men posted that could be embarrassing?

I also wonder if women or men Google their scheduled dates?

Do you think women giggle when they Google men?

Do men titter when they Twitter women?

Hmmm…

Some daters are checking the net,

To see in advance what they’d get.

They check Facebook status,

They get it free, gratis.

To insure the date won’t bring regrets.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Softpedia Says Scary Spam Scams


According to Softpedia, another IRS malware campaign has been spotted in the wild and even though the message is new, the way it functions remains the same.

Unsuspecting victims receive an email which seems to come from the much feared U.S institution, The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), with the subject, “Federal Tax Report”.

It contains a message that reads something like, “There are arrears reckoned on your account over a period of 2010-2011 year.”

It continues, “You will find all calculations according to your financial debt, enclosed. Sincerely, IRS.”

More information about this news item can be found at: 

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Federal-Tax-Report-Emails-Spread-IRS-Malware-225611.shtml

Hmmm…

Some malware is going around,

In IRS emails it’s found.

It says you owe money,

Now that’s just not funny,

Scams like this really abound.

 

Don’t answer the spam when it comes,

Or you just might send in large sums.

Delete it in haste,

So your cash you won’t waste,

Keep it out of the hands of those bums.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Crafty QR Codes Confound Crooks


There’s a lot of counterfeiting of goods and currencies going on these days. Scientists are working on ways to counter act the counterfeiters.

They have upgraded QR codes to help in that effort.

Quick Response (QR) codes are applied to products and advertising, and are found just about everywhere.

QRs are those little, funny looking squares with smudges on them usually found on the corners.

New codes have been developed which will hamper the efforts of the counterfeiters of profitable products and even money.

You will be able to scan them with a smart phone and go to the company’s web site to determine if they are the real thing.

Hmmm…

QR codes are now on the scene.

To crooks that really is mean.

They won’t capture the codes,

To steal mother loads.

But smart phones can, isn’t that keen?

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Government Gathering Goods on Guys and Gals


The National Security Administration (NSA) denies it is collecting data (and storing it) on U.S. citizens.

But, and ex-NSA employee thinks differently about that.

Looks like  the novel/movie 1984 is coming to pass. That’s scary stuff.

Hmmm…

The government is stashing our data?

The thought of it’s making me sadder.

They are always snooping,

Our data they’re grouping,

It’s something that’s making me madder,

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

 

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: