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Posts tagged ‘Driving’

Befuddled By Boisterous Bird


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Tunbridge Wells Ostrich: RSPCA warns not to approach dangerous bird.

The RSPCA is urging the public to stay away from an ostrich that caused traffic chaos in Tunbridge Wells on Tuesday in case it “breaks someone’s leg” as it admits the bird may never be caught.

The charity also warned another escaped bird is on the loose less than 40 miles away in West Sussex after evading capture for almost two months.

The ostrich in Kent was spotted running beside cars at more than 40mph, causing motorists to slam on the breaks and making traffic slow to a crawl around the villages of Rusthall and Speldhurst between 8.30 and 9am.

The RSPCA said it was “not hopeful” of catching the ostrich, which is able to run up to 60mph and has a powerful kick that can kill a human.

It also warned that although the birds are not aggressive animals, they had the power to “break someone’s leg” if approached.

Written by By Alice Philipson

Found @:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10573599/Tunbridge-Wells-Ostrich-RSPCA-warns-not-to-approach-dangerous-bird.html

Hmmm…

An ostrich is running about,
It never should have gotten out;
It’s been seen on the speedway,
Running fast every which way,
If seen, give a loud warning shout.

Authorities say to keep clear,
If it kicks you, you will shed a tear;
Just call in your sighting,
I’m sure it’s exciting,
More so than seeing a deer.

It can be a dangerous one,
Get close and it won’t be much fun;
It has a big kick,
Breaks your leg like a stick,
It’s best when you see it to run.

It’s causing a big traffic jam,
And many a car break to slam;
It’s been on the run,
For months, say some,
The big bird is now on the lamb.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Friction Found For Forward Favors


No more paying it forward for the driver behind you at the Georgia 400 toll plaza.

No more Mr. Nice Guy, or Girl.

A new rule from the State Road and Tollway Authority bans drivers from paying the toll for the person behind them in line.

That became something of a local tradition over the last 20 years.

But The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that some drivers had recently complained about cashiers pocketing the extra 50 cents when they didn’t see their money being tossed into the coin basket for the driver behind them.

The deputy executive director of the State Road and Toll way Authority, Bert Brantley, says a driver might not see the extra money being thrown into the change basket because the next motorist sometimes declined the money, allowing it to be passed to another driver.

More information at http://www.ajc.com

Hmmm…

You can’t pay forward with tolls,

Though it may be one of your goals;

The state has just banned it,

Some toll takers were bandits,

Save your cash for nasty old trolls.

 

You can’t do a person a favor,

It’s now not proper behavior;

In Georgia it’s wrong,

They’ll give you the gong,

I won’t do it, but maybe you’re braver.

 

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved.

Car Crash Could Cause Cellphone Confiscation


Let’s say you’ve been in an accident. The police officer goes through the normal drill, asking for your license and registration.

Then the officer goes a step further. “Could I have your cellphone, please?”

If New Jersey state Sen. James Holzapfel gets his way, he would let cops confiscate cellphones if the police have “reasonable grounds” to believe that the driver was talking or texting when the wreck occurred.

The police would be required to return the phone after thumbing through its history.

The legislation is designed to cut down on distracted driving. But it comes at a time when revelations that the government has been monitoring our phone calls and online activities have shaken our sense of privacy.

The bill set off alarm bells with the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey. “Our State and Federal Constitutions generally require probable cause before authorizing a search, particularly when it comes to areas that contain highly personal information such as cellphones,” said Alexander Shalom of the ACLU-NJ.

More at: http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/12/tech/new-jersey-cell-phone-traffic-stop/index.html

Hmmm…

Right just after an accident,

You might just wonder where your cellphone went,

The police on the scene may take it away,

And there’s absolutely nothing that you can say.

They’ll check your phone log just to see,

If you made a phone call, or two, or three.

If you made a text just before the crash,

It will cost you a lot and not just in cash.

They make take your license so you can’t drive,

So you can’t do that stupid texting jive,

You may even end up in a jail,

Where you’ll, cry and sob, and certainly wail.

Please don’t do a call or text while you drive,

So you and your friends will arrive all alive,

Don’t use the phone and avoid a crash,

Cause jail ain’t like a spring break bash.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Cop Catches Commuter Cruisin’


A Maryland woman received a very unusual “speeding” ticket.

Local Maryland NBC affiliate, News4 reported that the woman was driving 63 miles per hour in a 65-mph zone. She was driving on Interstate 95.  Read more at: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Laurel-Maryland-Ticket-Driving-Too-Slow-197285901.html

Police say the reason they ticketed her was that she was driving in the left lane reserved for speedier commuters.

“[I was] really shocked,” she told the station. “I thought, ‘Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me.'”

Then again, commuters who get annoyed by someone hogging the right lane might salute the ticket.

The woman explained that the area was experiencing heavy winds at the time and she was only driving under the speed limit as a safety precaution. “Sometimes when it’s dangerous, you have to do what you can to stay safe,” she said.

She has one ally on her side: the local branch of AAA.

“The reason [the ticket] is silly is because it’s sending the wrong message,” said John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic. “And that message is, ‘We will tolerate you driving at more than the speed limit, but it you drive below the speed limit, then you’re penalized for that.'”

Hmmm…

A woman was driving too slow,

In MD, we thought you should know.

She was charged a large fee,

For doing sixty three,

It was sixty five there don’t you know.

 © 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Texters Terrible Untimely Tumble


A certain young man (name withheld to avoid embarrassment) decided to text while driving.

While doing so, he drove his car over a cliff.

Gee. I hope he wasn’t trying to drop someone off.

I wonder if he texted for an ambulance.

He survived the crash and is now warning people of the dangers of texting while driving.

Duh!

I understand he still has a problem. He continues to text while lecturing.

Hmmm…

A guy drove his car off a cliff,

His brain was somewhere adrift.

He texted at the wheel,

His breaks never squealed.

He’s lucky that he’s not a stiff.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Leave the driving to us.


Google will start testing its newest development (self driving cars) in Nevada. They will be the first licensed automated vehicles in the U.S.

I can see it now. As we’re going down the road, a computer voice will yell:

“Will you kids stop arguing back there?”

“Stop it or I’ll turn this car around and we’ll go right home.”

“You should have gone to the bathroom before we left.”

“I’m never using Google Maps again.”

“I don’t need to stop and ask for directions. I know how to get there.”

 

Personally, I hope the program knows when I want to take a restroom break.

Hmmm.

Google has got a new plan,

For a self driving car or a van;

Nevada said sure,

If it’s really secure,

If it’s bad we will put out a ban.

 

Yummy!


Here’s something I wrote a few years back. It was an entry for Video Maker Magazine’s, Short Video Contest. It won second prize. Its had quite a few views on YouTube over the years. It’s a spoof of late night TV commercials. Hope you like it.

CAVEAT…It’s not for the faint of heart. Animal lovers may not like it, but it’s part of the circle of life.

I hope this works. I haven’t tried to insert a video link before.

It’s called, “The Roadkill Grill”.

Thanks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMkXxmAfQaE

Leave the driving to us.


Cadillac’s Super Cruise model has a new device which is expected to become standard equipment soon. The option works like an advanced cruise control, but it also navigates the car to avoid crashes.

Hmmm…

A guy in a self driving Cadillac,

Hopes he won’t run into a caddy shack;

It wouldn’t look cool,

For this new driving tool,

The owner would certainly take it back.

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