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Posts tagged ‘gifts’

The Fortune Cookie For: Feb. 24th, 2015






Thanks for stopping by Humorous Interludes.

From time to time I will share the “fortune” I find in a fortune cookie I just opened.

I received a large box of them after winning a life changing “contest” I described in this blog on November 4, 2014.

If you are a new reader of, The Fortune Cookie, you should read the fortune cookie story “contest” I just mentioned above. It might make more sense.

Here’s the fortune cookie “thought” for today:

“Each day is a gift waiting to be unwrapped.”

I hope you found it enlightening, or thought provoking, or weird, or whimsical, or funny, or just plain satisfying like a good cup of coffee, tea, or a bottle of fine wine.

As Paul Harvey used to say, “Good day”.

© 2015 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Parents PlayStation Placation

Parents Finally Cave And Buy 33-Year-Old Son A PlayStation…


Having refused to purchase the video game console since its introduction in 1994, local parents John and Melissa Gionda confirmed Thursday that they had finally caved in and bought a Sony PlayStation 1 for their 33-year-old son, Daniel.

“It has some violent games I still don’t approve of, but I know it’s something Daniel really wanted, so we finally figured, ‘Why not?’” Melissa Gionda said shortly after purchasing a bundle package containing the PlayStation console, a 1-megabyte memory card, and copies of Crash Bandicoot, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2, and Spyro The Dragon for the 2002 college graduate and digital marketing analyst.

“We’ve always felt that video games would have been a huge distraction from his schoolwork and first four jobs after college, but Daniel has been patient and waited long enough to get a PlayStation. As long as he doesn’t sit around all day in front of the TV, it’ll be fine.

And we got him an extra controller, too, so he can play it with his friends or his son Mark.” Despite buying the video game system, the Giondas confirmed that they still refuse to buy the 33-year-old a copy of the 1992 Megadeth album Countdown To Extinction.



Parents got their son a Play Station,
A decision which brought agitation;
They weren’t quite sure,
That they could endure,
The questionable gaming creation.

They didn’t like the station’s games,
That kill, and injure, and maim.
They finally gave in,
Old Daniel did win,
Now they have themselves to blame.

The son is now thirty three,
He should have gotten a Wii;
But he got his way,
A game console to play,
It brings him a whole lot of glee.

Now Dan has his own little boy,
Does Dan question buying him toys?
Will Dan make him wait?
Or will he placate?
And bring his young offspring some joy.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Your HORROR – scope for the week of Dec. 9th 2012

The planets and celestial bodies are aligned just right this week, especially for the holiday season. They bring you gift suggestions from beyond. Take heed and choose carefully.

Aries… Take the woolly mammoth present off your gift list. They are sold out…again this year.

Taurus… Don’t buy your sweetie another personality. You always buy the wrong size anyway.

Gemini… The perfect gift for that someone special is undoubtedly the ear wax sculpture. Get it while they’re hot.

Cancer… This year, buy the gift that makes a statement. Get a spatula for every room in the house.

Leo… Yes, buy it today. Your honey always wanted to be a pig farmer.

Virgo… This year we recommend you take more time when purchasing that special gift. After all, there are a lot of items in those dollar stores.

Libra… Don’t give your special one money again this year. Your darling already has enough for three Monopoly games.

Scorpio… What a wonderful gift choice you’ve made this year. After all only special people can use a Gum Scraping Gift Certificate.

Sagittarius… Don’t over think this opportunity for a unique gift. No doubt about it, getting a BOGO Pre-paid Funeral deal is dead on.

Capricorn… The stars can’t be wrong. We definitely recommend you buy your loved one the trained eels.

Aquarius… Don’t wait until the last minute. Schedule it today. His and her lobotomies are a no-brainer.

Pisces… You are wise to buy your friend a rectal examination. It’s the perfect gift for a pain in the butt, or for Dennis Miller.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Thank Your Lucky Stars

You think you have it bad.

I have to buy 373 birthday gifts for my kids for the same day.

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