Fine Floor Fantasy Finally Fulfilled
EDINA, MN—
Moved by a grand and profound force to expand her maple-finish domain beyond its limited borders in the kitchen, area woman Linda Ellison finally achieved her own manifest destiny of hardwood floors throughout her home this week, sources confirmed.
“Though I understood it would be a long, arduous journey that would likely take many years to complete, I always knew deep down that one day, I would be able to look out across high-gloss, select-grade wood panels stretching all the way from the foyer to the back guest room,” said Ellison, who, despite numerous obstacles, never wavered in her pursuit of covering all 1,900 square feet of her ranch-style home in a varnished, light-tone flooring.
“Finding mold in the den underneath the old Berber carpeting and having to reroute some electrical work may have temporarily slowed us, but nothing could stop our advancement.”
“Now, at long last, every corner of the concrete subfloor has been covered in interlocking 2-and-a-quarter-inch hardwood, and this fated vision has become reality.”
Sources noted, however, that Ellison’s full-scale transformation of the household landscape had come at the cost of the forced relocation of her husband’s favorite recliner to the basement.
Found @
http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-fulfills-manifest-destiny-of-hardwood-floor,37711/
Hmmm…
A woman got some new floors,
Her carpeting would be no more,
It’s done in light tone,
To improve her home,
It’s something she really adores.
It took many years to complete,
The nineteen hundred square feet,
Now it’s installed,
From wall to wall,
It was a difficult feat.
It cost her husband his chair,
Which had been sitting right there,
It’s been relocated,
Perhaps it was hated,
Did he consider that fair?
Whatever the case may be,
The jobs done as we can see,
The work is now over,
And she sits in clover,
A manifest destiny.
© 2015 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved
Humorous Interludes by Ron Yarosh 
Climbers Climb Construction Crane
Urban explorers climb London’s ‘Walkie Talkie’ building
An urban explorer dangles his legs from the roof of London’s iconic Walkie-Talkie building – after dodging security and climbing a crane
London-
Housemates Antoine Dutilh, 22, Danny Lowe, 24, and Ricky Winspear, 23, decided to scale the under-construction London skyscraper after spying it from the roof of another building earlier in the day.
The trio are far from experienced urban explorers, spending only 10 minutes scouting out the building before hopping a fence and taking the stairs to the summit.
“The views from the top were just incredible, I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Ricky, from Paddington, London.
“When you’re peering over the edge just looking down with nothing between you and the floor, 180m above the ground, it’s mind-blowing.”
20 Fenchurch Street, nicknamed the Walkie-Talkie building due to its distinctive shape, hit the headlines in September last year after its reflective exterior bounced rays of sunlight onto nearby parked cars, causing parts of them to melt.
Once at the summit the explorers climbed some scaffolding to reach a crane.
They began to climb the machine but were forced to descend when it began to whir into life.
“We were going up one of the cranes, we got halfway up, but I wanted to go all the way to the top to get the highest view I could get, but the crane started moving and we realised there was someone operating the crane,” said Antoine, an illustrator and artist.
“We weren’t sure if he saw us, but as soon as that happened we just thought we should head down and go to another part of the building.”
The trio were keen to stress that they caused no damage to the site, and believe they did not put themselves at any risk during their explorations.
Danny, a fashion photographer, said: “The climb itself wasn’t dangerous because it’s designed for builders to work there on a day-to-day basis. The building was safe, it wasn’t like we were hanging off any ledges.”
The friends spent time on the roof taking photographs and drinking in the panoramic views, although their plans to stay overnight and watch the sunrise were scuppered when they heard workmen milling around the site and decided to make a quick exit.
“It felt very peaceful, almost surreal, it’s a different perspective of London. It’s something that’s not linked to London as a busy place, it’s completely different, you can see everything, it’s brilliant. A really really cool feeling,” said Antoine.
“I just wanted to go to a place that I’ve never been before. It was an adventure and a challenge,” added Danny, who used to have a fear of heights.
He added: “What I can take away from climbing the Walkie Talkie? It’s not that I’m a bigger man because I’d done this thing, it just makes you balance things out, you realise that the little things that bother you on a day-to-day basis are so unimportant, there’s bigger things that mean more.”
“In the future when we go past and it’s actually been built, there’s not many people can say they’d stood on the top of the roof of the Walkie-Talkie building. It’s remarkable that we’ve done it.”
Found@:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10591655/Urban-explorers-climb-Londons-Walkie-Talkie-building.html
Hmmm…
Urban explorers moved up many floors,
Climbing like human flies.
They climbed a new building,
Which has no real gilding,
A hundred and eighty meters high.
Urban explorers just live for the climb,
They do it to touch the sky.
They climbed Walkie-Talki,
Perhaps being cocky,
It’s thrilling; Do give it a try.
While up there they took in a bird’s eye view,
There wasn’t much else they could do,
Their time was cut short,
If you read the report,
It was time to climb something new.
© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.
Share this:
Like this:
Category:
Lifestyles, News, Uncategorized
Tagged with: