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Perfect Partners Parting


couple

Study: Marriages Between Perfectly Matched Couples Should Still Only Last About 15 Years

ORLANDO, FL—

In a new study released Friday that challenges contemporary notions of marital satisfaction, researchers at the University of Central Florida found that unions even between perfectly matched couples should only last around 15 years.

“Contrary to the traditional idea of ‘until death do us part,’ our findings indicate that partners compatible in every way should nevertheless be married no longer than a decade and a half,” said lead researcher Dr. Hank Grossman, adding that the physical and emotional intimacy of marriage is “more or less fully depleted” by the 15-year mark, even among two people who could not have found a better fit than each other.

“The data suggests that the most personally fulfilled, satisfied couples—those who consider their partner their soul mate—choose to part ways before codependency or feelings of entrapment emerge. It’s fair to say that any marriage lasting more than 15 years is almost certainly a product of serious dysfunction.”

Grossman added that 15 years was the uppermost limit, and that two people who were truly meant to be together may exhaust their relationship in half that time.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-marriages-between-perfectly-matched-couples,37215/

Hmmm…

Divorce after fifteen years,

Could bring most couples to tears,

When they realize their fears,

That they’re like all their peers.

 

Even with the best soul mate,

Found on their first blind date,

A breakup will be their fate,

A marriage they won’t reinstate.

 

A study made it clear,

The results are quite severe,

It’s nothing to be cheered,

Their love will disappear.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Your HORROR – scope for the week of Sept. 16th, 2012


Aries… Mercury is in a bad mood resulting in opposition to everything right now. You will prance in a prairie with a prominent pickpocket from Poughkeepsie.

Taurus… Uranus is in its ninth house doing renovations. You may be into good looks for a mate. That’s understandable, and a bit shallow. But, why marry a turducken?

Gemini…The sun and the moon are conspiring. Don’t go to the beach this week. A Porifera will try to sponge off of you.

Cancer… Saturn is on the cusp of an asteroid. You will awaken to find that your only friends are your ear buds, and Dennis Miller.

Leo… Pluto is in a kennel while the other planets take a vacation. You will puke in Pontchartrain after a plethora of pleasing platitudes.

Virgo… Venus is juxtaposed to everything now. You will seek the advice of an Ophthalmologist when you have trouble focusing your mind’s eye this week.

Libra… Mars is in its fourth house collecting back rent. You will awaken to find yourself necking with a nectarine. It will not be fruitful.

Scorpio… The sun is trine with itself this week. You will be arrested for stalking a stocking.

Sagittarius… The moon is fixed at the moment. Your friends at work are reluctant to correct you on this. But, you should know that with few exceptions, a taxidermist doesn’t drive a cab.

Capricorn… Jupiter is opposed to Venus over some political polling results. Stop ending all your explanations of phenomena with, “And that’s why a bowling ball has three holes in it.” It’s getting old.

Aquarius… Neptune is out of commission and is recuperating in the celestial hospital. You will make the sound; “err” between each word in every sentence you speak this week.

Pisces…Uranus is square with Mars now. You will be hassled by airport security for having a pachyderm in your pocket.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

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