Parents Pardon Pleases Perpetrator
VERONA, WI—
Despite his best efforts to conceal the damage, area teen, Kyle Towser, confirmed Wednesday that his parents could clearly tell he had a huge house fire while they were away for the weekend.
“I tried to cover it up before they came home by throwing blankets over the worst scorches on the floor and couches, but they could definitely smell smoke on me as soon as they came through the door,” said Towser, adding that what began as a small house fire soon got completely out of control and kept on going until well after 4 a.m.
“I mean, of course they were going to find out: The den, kitchen, and master bedroom are totally destroyed. Plus, the neighbors complained when it really started raging.”
Towser went on to say that his parents were surprisingly understanding since they had house fires when they were kids, too.
Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/returning-parents-can-tell-son-had-huge-house-fire,37647/
Hmmm…
Young Towser witnessed a fire,
The situation was dire,
His folks were away,
Not just for the a day,
It was something no one would desire.
He tried to cover the mess,
The fire caused him some stress,
Would mom and dad yell?
When detecting the smell?
It was anybody’s guess.
His parents took it quite well,
They had their own story to tell,
Of fires they had,
They weren’t so sad,
They had their own flames to quell.
© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved
Humorous Interludes by Ron Yarosh 
Pondering Parental Predicament
Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—
With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay.
“I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead.
“And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.”
Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.
Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/homeless-man-has-no-idea-what-to-do-with-visiting,29486/
Hmmm…
There is a man without a home,
Among the cold streets he does roam,
Not sure if he owns any phone,
He worries if his folks will groan.
They don’t know of his situation,
Where his meals are always rationed,
Like many folks across the nation.
Will it cause them aggravation?
What will he do with his folks,
Tell them some sad homeless jokes,
While his campfire he does stoke,
With apprehensive poker strokes?
There isn’t much for them to see,
A railway bridge, perhaps some trees,
Or maybe the spot where he pees,
If his parents do agree.
Perhaps he’ll be a boring host,
Who cannot offer them a roast,
Or even a slice of morning toast,
Nor drinks to raise and make a toast.
He’ll grab dinner from out the trash,
Then he will make a rapid dash,
To be gone in a silent flash,
Since he hasn’t got any cash.
That’s the life he lives today,
He has no home where he can stay,
Nor job which can provide some pay,
The future is not bright; it’s gray.
© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved
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