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Posts tagged ‘Parents’

Parents Pardon Pleases Perpetrator

House fire


Despite his best efforts to conceal the damage, area teen, Kyle Towser, confirmed Wednesday that his parents could clearly tell he had a huge house fire while they were away for the weekend.

“I tried to cover it up before they came home by throwing blankets over the worst scorches on the floor and couches, but they could definitely smell smoke on me as soon as they came through the door,” said Towser, adding that what began as a small house fire soon got completely out of control and kept on going until well after 4 a.m.

“I mean, of course they were going to find out: The den, kitchen, and master bedroom are totally destroyed. Plus, the neighbors complained when it really started raging.”

Towser went on to say that his parents were surprisingly understanding since they had house fires when they were kids, too.

Found @,37647/


Young Towser witnessed a fire,

The situation was dire,

His folks were away,

Not just for the a day,

It was something no one would desire.


He tried to cover the mess,

The fire caused him some stress,

Would mom and dad yell?

When detecting the smell?

It was anybody’s guess.


His parents took it quite well,

They had their own story to tell,

Of fires they had,

They weren’t so sad,

They had their own flames to quell.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Pondering Parental Predicament



Homeless man


Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents




With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay.

“I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead.

“And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.”

Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.

Found @,29486/



There is a man without a home,

Among the cold streets he does roam,

Not sure if he owns any phone,

He worries if his folks will groan.


They don’t know of his situation,

Where his meals are always rationed,

Like many folks across the nation.

Will it cause them aggravation?


What will he do with his folks,

Tell them some sad homeless jokes,

While his campfire he does stoke,

With apprehensive poker strokes?


There isn’t much for them to see,

A railway bridge, perhaps some trees,

Or maybe the spot where he pees,

If his parents do agree.


Perhaps he’ll be a boring host,

Who cannot offer them a roast,

Or even a slice of morning toast,

Nor drinks to raise and make a toast.


He’ll grab dinner from out the trash,

Then he will make a rapid dash,

To be gone in a silent flash,

Since he hasn’t got any cash.


That’s the life he lives today,

He has no home where he can stay,

Nor job which can provide some pay,

The future is not bright; it’s gray.


© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Poor Perplexed Parents

Thousands Of Americans To Notice First Signs Of Dementia While Visiting Parents Over Holiday


Noting that the experience is sure to be extremely upsetting, a new report has found that thousands of Americans will likely notice the first signs of their parents’ dementia while visiting over the holidays.

“Shortly after arriving home from the airport, an estimated tens of thousands of adults will invariably witness one or both parents forget something that just happened, misremember details of their lives that have been discussed hundreds of times before, or momentarily lose track of what they were doing right in the middle of an action,” lead author Dr. Tim Belarde wrote in the report.

He added that 80 percent will see their parents write down incorrect information on a calendar, 65 percent will hear their mothers refer to a completely nonexistent event from childhood, and half will observe their father mixing up siblings’ names.

“For the remainder of their vacations, these Americans will spend hours carefully observing their parents for further signs of mental decline and then convince themselves that any brain lapses were anomalies due to the stress of the holidays, ultimately leaving with dozens of unsettling memories they will repress in an effort to deny the inevitable.

” At press time, sources reported that an estimated 40,000 mothers had just asked their children to resend their flight itineraries for the fourth time.



Seeing your parents forget,
Their keys, their car, or their pet;
They don’t know some detail,
Or a fact from an old tale,
Is something that makes most kids fret.

They mix up their childrens’ names,
Forget rules of common games;
They have a brain lapse,
Or several perhaps,
It really is quite a shame.

They suffer from mental decline,
But not of their own design;
It comes on with age,
A frequent blank page,
It certainly isn’t divine.

There’s nothing much that we can do,
We can’t mix a magical brew;
It’s all part of life,
It can bring on strife,
We just have to see what ensues.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Smartphone sensors make sense.

Your smartphone’ s sensors can be used to automatically record every move you make with an app called, Placeme. It knows where you’re going, where you have been, and maybe even what you were up to.

I guess it depends on the sensors involved (in the phone that is).

This can certainly put an end to the old interrogation scene:

Mom or Dad:  “Where have you been?”

Child:   “No where.”

Mom or Dad: “What did you do?”

Child: “Nothing.”

Mom or Dad: “Let me see your phone.”


Your smartphone can now track your movements,

Some people think it’s an improvement;

It knows where you are,

On foot or by car,

It might even provide some amusement.

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