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Posts tagged ‘Robots’

Robot Reporter Retorts for Sports

With the upcoming Super Bowl on the horizon, I thought this item would be appropriate.


Some unsatisfied, stat starved spectator has developed a robot containing a nauseating number of sobering sports statistics.

As if we don’t hear an apoplectic amount of them as it is.

Apparently Robbie the Robot Reporter (not its real name) can be used for any game with remarkable results.

I wonder if it gives betting odds for sporting events.


A regular robot reporter?

I’m not sure I could be a supporter;

It would know all the stats,

Of this and of that,

But it could always become out of order.

Bots Bee-having Bee-like

Scientists can be found spending their time, and probably our federal grant money, mapping the thought processes of cute, little honey bees.

They want to use the insect’s bee-havior to integrate it into robots.

They hope the robots will then fly like bees. (I hope they don’t sting us.)

Maybe they will ask Rob-bee the Robot to help them.

Can you imagine the tiny probes used to capture a bee’s thoughts?

And, what do bee’s thoughts sound like? The Bee Gees?

The poor little honey combers can’t be thinking very logical or coherent thoughts.

After all, most of the time they have a buzz on.


Robots that think like bees?

They’ll fly over overhead on the breeze.

Will they make honey,

On days that are sunny?

Or handle our money?

Or say things quite funny?

Will they do whatever they please?





Sleeping Seascapes?

Now people are analyzing sleep patterns to determine what kind of paintings the patterns would produce.

Someone in a hotel has hooked up over 80 bed sensors to a robot that can paint to find that out.

Could it be Renoir the Robot?

I’m not sure how a robot’s sleep patterns correlate to a human’s.

Besides, who ever heard of a robot sleeping. Turned off maybe, but sleeping?

I wonder what kind of painting a nightmare would produce.

Maybe it would be a portrait of Freddie, or Jason, or maybe Lady Gaga.


Make a painting in your sleep?

Is it something you would keep?

Is it different when you sleep deep?

Is it something that would make you weep?

Or is it something that should be bleeped?

Hurray for Handy Household Helpers

The makers of robots are making big strides. It won’t be long before we see bots capable of helping us around the house.

That will be great for those who are physically challenged.

The robots will be programmed to do whatever we think they should do. You want yours to sweep the floor, just think that. You want one to cook dinner for five? Think of it.

One word of caution. We don’t know how far they will go in responding to our thoughts. Will they commit a crime if we should think of one? If they did, who would be responsible and be jailed for it?

If you were with someone and you thought you’d like to punch them in the face, would the bot start swinging?

Would the bot reveal your thoughts about your family, friends, co-workers, or boss in their presence?

The possibilities are endless?

It reminds me of robots in the Woody Allen film, Sleeper. They were spectacular.


A robot that can read our mind,

Will be useful for our daily grind;

Controlled by our thoughts,

It’s the best of the bots,

It’s something I wish I could find.


Will they do everything you think?

Will they wash the dishes in the sink?

Will they tell you boss off?

Will they take your socks off?

Will they put colors in the wash with the whites and make them pink?

Stainless Steel Shampoos Scalp

What will they think of next? It’s a futuristic follical friendly fixture.

Now you can have a robot shampoo your hair! This wonderful service bot uses 24 magical fingers to shampoo and massage your eager scalp. It really gets to the root of your problem.

Does the Woody Allen movie, “Sleeper”, ring a bell?

I don’t know if I can wrap my head around this one. Robots run on electricity. It washes your hair with water. Water and power don’t mix well unless you are looking for a new kind of thrill.


A robot can now do your hair,

It’s a marvel that’s really quite rare;

It washes and rinses,

Without any winces,

When it’s done you have hair with a flair.

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