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Posts tagged ‘Taxes’

The Fortune Cookie For: Dec. 17th, 2014


cookie

 

 

 

 

Thanks for stopping by Humorous Interludes.

From time to time I will share the “fortune” I find in a fortune cookie I just opened.

I received a large box of them after winning a life changing “contest” I described in this blog on November 4, 2014.

If you are a new reader of, The Fortune Cookie, you should read the fortune cookie story “contest” I just mentioned above. It might make more sense.

Here’s the fortune cookie “thought” for today:

“There is no relaxing when there’s overtaxing.”

I hope you found it enlightening, or thought provoking, or weird, or whimsical, or funny, or just plain satisfying like a good cup of coffee, tea, or a bottle of fine wine.

As Paul Harvey used to say, “Good day”.

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Diesel Driver Dilemma


More misery for diesel drivers

 

exhaustpipe

 

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/road-and-rail-transport/11009290/More-misery-for-diesel-drivers.html

 

According to The Telegraph, a crackdown begins on drivers who leave engines running, as council officials say they will target diesel vehicles.

Diesel drivers face further penalties due to a crackdown on vehicles left idling outside school gates and on shopping runs as part of attempts to meet European environmental targets.

 

Islington Council last week announced it is to clamp down on drivers who leave their engines running in stationary vehicles, with on the spot fines for those deemed to be causing unnecessary pollution.

 

It is believed to be the first council in England to launch a concerted campaign against the practice, with officials claiming they will target buses, lorries and diesel cars in particular.

 

Other London councils are believed to be considering a similar tough approach to idling, while Dudley Council in the West Midlands has been examining how to tackle the problem of parents leaving engines running outside schools.

 

Under the clampdown announced by Islington Council, drivers who refuse to turn off their engines while waiting could be fined £20, which would rise to £40 if it is not paid promptly.

 

The measures are the latest blow for drivers of diesel cars after Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, announced that they will face paying an extra £10 to enter central London from 2020 under plans for a new “ultra-low emission zone”.

 

Matthew Jaffa of the Federation of Small Businesses said on Sunday that the new charge would drive small firms out of the capital and called for a “root and branch” review of how the congestion charge is calculated.

 

“This is an attack on business,” he said. “If we want to be open for business, this sends the wrong message in that respect.”

 

A number of councils across the UK are considering similar measures as they attempt to meet European clean air targets, with almost 20 cities currently forecast to continue exceeding safe levels of nitrogen dioxide pollution until after 2020.

Motoring groups have accused the government of “betraying” drivers who have until now been given tax incentives to choose diesel vehicles over petrol ones, which contribute more to global warming.

 

But although diesel emits less carbon dioxide, it gives off more nitrogen dioxide which causes local pollution and has been linked to thousands of premature deaths every year in the UK.

 

Councils gained the power to issue £20 spot fines for idling under the Road Traffic Regulations 2002, rising to £40 if left unpaid, but until now the rule has not been widely enforced. Camden Council launched a crackdown on buses which flout the rules in 2008, but did not target motorists.

 

Islington Council has now warned that fines will be issued to any drivers who refuse to turn off an engine in a stationary vehicle which is running unnecessarily when asked to do so.

 

This could include buses and taxis idling on stands, or motorists who leave their car running by the side of the road, but not “common sense” situations such as vehicles which are stopped in a traffic jam.

 

Cllr Claudia Webbe, Islington Council’s executive member for environment, said, “We are committed to improving air quality in Islington which is why we are clamping down on idling buses, lorries and diesel cars.”

 

But Brandon Lewis, the Communities Minister, warned that Islington’s council’s approach could drive people away from high streets, describing the spot fines as a way to “tax drivers by stealth”.

 

“This is systematic of a clipboard-wielding culture in many town halls where every response to a policy challenge involves a new tax or a fine on local residents,” he said.

 

Other councils are likely to follow suit, with the Chair of London Councils’ Transport and Environment Committee, which represents the 32 London boroughs, writing to the Environment Secretary last year calling for more action to improve air quality in the capital.

 

Among the measures they called for were tougher action against idling, including a “stronger deterrent” of £130 spot fines, as well as higher taxes for diesel drivers.

 

 

Hmmm…

Diesels are now under fire,

Like lorries, and taxis for hire,

The situation is dire,

For every new London car buyer.

 

It is a pollution concern,

Diesel is bad when it’s burned,

Pollution is something they spurn,

An environmental concern.

 

A 130 pound fine,

For idling isn’t so fine,

And taxes that aren’t benign,

Is far from being sublime.

 

What’s a diesel car driver to do,

When fines and high taxes accrue,

Except to start sing the blues,

And have a Hopshackle or two.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Softpedia Says Scary Spam Scams


According to Softpedia, another IRS malware campaign has been spotted in the wild and even though the message is new, the way it functions remains the same.

Unsuspecting victims receive an email which seems to come from the much feared U.S institution, The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), with the subject, “Federal Tax Report”.

It contains a message that reads something like, “There are arrears reckoned on your account over a period of 2010-2011 year.”

It continues, “You will find all calculations according to your financial debt, enclosed. Sincerely, IRS.”

More information about this news item can be found at: 

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Federal-Tax-Report-Emails-Spread-IRS-Malware-225611.shtml

Hmmm…

Some malware is going around,

In IRS emails it’s found.

It says you owe money,

Now that’s just not funny,

Scams like this really abound.

 

Don’t answer the spam when it comes,

Or you just might send in large sums.

Delete it in haste,

So your cash you won’t waste,

Keep it out of the hands of those bums.

 

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh

Your HORROR – scope for the week of Oct. 14th, 2012


This week the stellar stars shoot for stunning starlit alliterations in the constellations without constant consternation or constipation.

Hopefully you will have happy, humorous and heartwarming Horror-scopic happenings…

Aries… Saturn is preparing for Halloween. Your date with succulent steamed veggies will go terribly wrong when you suddenly become ravishingly hungry.

Taurus… Jupiter is shopping for a new moon. You will awaken to find yourself on the Canadian border smothered in cold, clammy, Canadian bacon.

Gemini… Saturn is having its rings polished. You will be involved in some chicanery with a chickpea eating chicken in Chicopee, Massachusetts.

Cancer… The moon is going in for maintenance this week. You suddenly have a penchant for parchment, Parcheesi, and par boiled parsnips.

Leo… Mars is on the verge of Venus. While on vacation, you will vie for a viaduct near a villa in Veracruz.

Virgo… Mercury is pondering over appearing in a Reality Show. Your darling doggie wants to do its dastardly doody on the doorstep of Dennis Miller.

Libra… The Earth in its ninth house with a Realtor  You will engage in cogent conversations with a toastmaster, a milquetoast, and Post Toasties.

Scorpio… Pluto hasn’t gotten much sleep lately and is grumpy. Your date with a transient Techno Geek will go wrong when he/she tries to troubleshoot you.

Sagittarius…. Neptune  is considering taking up painting as a hobby. You will awkwardly awaken to discover  that you are a hoax.

Capricorn… Jupiter is thinking of switching orbits with Mars. You will be stopped in your tricky tracks while paying taxes in Texas.

Aquarius… The moon is going in for maintenance this week. You suddenly have a penchant for parchment, Parcheesi, and par boiled parsnips.

Pisces… Mars is having its third house redecorated. You will pucker up to a hockey puck in Pawtucket, Paducah, and Patagonia.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

This Item Is Really Taxing…


Many U.S. state governments have voted to tax on-line purchases made in their states.

They want companies like Amazon to collect the fees.

Soon we’ll be paying taxes just to surf the net. What’s the web coming to?

Hmmm…

A tax will be added on line,

Don’t charge it and get a big fine;

They’ll take out the cash,

It’s really quite rash,

I’d laugh but the money is mine.

California’s Drunken Spending Spree!


News Flash… California is SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS in the RED.

Hold on to your wallets.

California’s Gov., Jerry Brown made a pitch to voters for TAX HIKES and deeper spending cuts. I guess he doesn’t realize that people (and their money) are fleeing California for tax friendlier places. Spending cuts? Dream on Jerry.

Californians, you got what you asked for when you re-elected J.B.

Socialism is great until you run out of other people’s money!

Hmmm…

California is now out of money,

To me that is awfully funny,

They spend more than they make,

Millions still on the “take”,

I guess CA is not very sunny.

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