Finding The Humor In Life|A Place for Laughs|Poetry|Humorous Stories…

Posts tagged ‘Valentine’s Day’

Happy Valentines’s Day 2015

I decided to repost a cartoon I did a few years ago for Valentine’s Day.

I hope you like it. 🙂

Valentine Request


Day’s Decisions Determine Direction


Nation’s Girlfriends Admit Absolutely Everything Riding On Valentine’s Day


Confirming that it’s “all come down to this,” the nation’s girlfriends admitted Thursday that, despite anything they may have said or implied in the past, absolutely everything hinges on the outcome of this Valentine’s Day.

Describing the evening as “the indisputable make-or-break moment of our relationships,” the girlfriends explained that if Valentine’s Day fails, in any way, to live up to their standards, or if at any point they sense that not enough effort went into the occasion, then things are as good as over.

“Look, I’m gonna cut the crap here: I’ve basically funneled all my hopes for the future into this one night in which my boyfriend must achieve perfection, or else we’re through,” Virginia Beach area girlfriend Jenna Boyce, 27, told reporters, noting that she will be able to tell immediately if her boyfriend cheaps out on the flowers he has bought her or throws his gift together at the very last minute. “I expect an amazing, thoughtful, nearly flawless experience, one that is simultaneously fun and romantic, and a night I will remember for the rest of my life. Anything short of that, and I walk.”

“I know I’ve stated in the past that I believe Valentine’s Day is dumb and that it’s a commercial holiday and that it doesn’t matter to me, but I was lying,” Boyce added, in total concurrence with every other girlfriend in the country. “That was total baloney. I, in fact, care more about this than anything, by far.”

The nation’s girlfriends admitted to reporters, and to anyone who cared to know, that nothing their boyfriends have ever done for them in the past, including any and all good deeds previously rendered, will matter in the slightest if they don’t make tomorrow a day to remember.

The assembled women then confirmed that they expect the following things tomorrow, and they “don’t care” if these expectations make them appear either old-fashioned, demanding, or unrealistic: flowers; repeated romantic gestures and signs of physical affection; compliments; assorted gifts of an emotionally resonant nature; a dinner that is sufficiently high-end yet also warm and intimate; two to three fond recollections of the relationship’s origins; an outfit and attention to personal dress on the part of the boyfriend that shows he cares; extended eye contact; highly engaged conversation; no spared details; no mistakes; no jokes that in any way undermine the seriousness and romantic gravity of the evening; no mention of money or cost; and a minimum of 25 utterances of the word “love.”

“And if you don’t like it, that is too bad, because this is the attitude I am walking into tomorrow with and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to alter or subdue that attitude,” said Seattle area girlfriend Sonia Moreno, 31, noting that Valentine’s Day will be the sole metric she will use to gauge her boyfriend’s worth and romantic commitment. “That’s the reality. It’s all come down to this. And so, come tomorrow, I suppose myself and every girlfriend in America will find out for sure if their relationship has a future or not.”

The nation’s girlfriends also confirmed that if their boyfriends are able to go all out and make tomorrow truly special, then there is no reason why they couldn’t make a similar effort on every other day of the year too.



There are expectations this day,
And the girls have the final say,
They want dinner and wine,
And it better be fine,
Or it could be the end of foreplay.

Men must be especially nice,
Giving them sugar and spice,
Girls want some nice jewelry,
And not some tom foolery,
Perhaps a ring frozen in ice.

This is the night of decision,
Men must show love with precision,
They must make the right move,
To get her in the groove,
They must plan it with love’s perfect vision.

So men get yourselves in gear,
For it only comes once a year,
Be nice and romantic,
Do not be pedantic,
Go forward without any fear.

© 2013 Ronald J. Yarosh
All rights reserved.

Your HORROR – scope for the week of Feb 10th, 2013

Well this week hosts one of our favorite specials days.

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.

According to Random Facts, “The term “love” is from the Sanskrit lubhyati, meaning “desire.”

They also report, “The enduring symbol of love, Cupid (or Eros) is said to have come from Chaos (“The Yawning Void”) and represents the primitive forces of love and desire.”

After an exhaustive search, we determined that there are between thirty and three thousand songs with the word “love” in the title.

We know, that’s a bit vague, but love tends to be that way sometimes.

If someone knows the exact number, feel free to post it.

So, just for you, the planets aligned themselves in the exact order to provide you with personal predictions of love.

You’ve probably heard of the saying, “Love makes the world go round”.

We are here to help you find satisfaction in your pursuit of love this week.

Isn’t love great?

Aries… You will awaken to discover that you beloved beta fish has left you for a neon tetra.

Taurus… You may think you love that zombie, but you are dead wrong.

Gemini… Your love for a dust mite is fine, but don’t expect it to pick up the check when dining out.

Cancer… Calling you lover a pet name is nice, but you should reconsider the name, Fido.

Leo…. You will be trapped in a love triangle with two Game Wardens.

Virgo… You will be attracted to a lion tamer, a computer gamer and a constant blamer.

Libra… Your family will be stunned to discover that your new lover is a jelly fish.

Scorpio… Remember this. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Sagittarius… Your confusion over who to choose as a love interest may not be obvious to you, but it’s quite clear to us when our choices are either Dennis Miller or a serial killer.

Capricorn… You will be gambling with love if you keep seeing that blackjack dealer.

Aquarius… Just because you are interested marathon races doesn’t mean your love interest wants to run off with you.

Pisces… Think about it. Are you really sure you want to marry a parasite?

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

Copyright 2013, Ronald J. Yarosh. All rights reserved.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: