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Kerry

Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals

THE ISLE OF EMBERS—

With the natives’ drumbeats suddenly falling silent as a mysterious midday darkness rolled across the island, sources confirmed that a solar eclipse occurred just in time Friday to stop imperiled U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry from being cooked alive by cannibals.

“See what you’ve done? I bring the darkness! I command the sun! I am a very powerful man!” Kerry reportedly shouted after quickly assessing the situation, causing the tribe’s shaman to cry out in fear and fall prostrate to the ground while several tribesmen hastily lowered the roasting spit on which they had been carrying the United States’ top diplomat toward a blazing fire.

“You cannot kill me, for I am a god! Release me now, and perhaps I will restore the light I have taken from you!” At press time, reports confirmed that the cannibals were reverently chanting the former Massachusetts senator’s name as they bore him on a luxurious sedan chair to a feast prepared in his honor.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/eclipse-comes-just-in-time-to-save-john-kerry-from,36788/

Hmmm…

Cannibals roasting John Kerry?

For him it must have been scary,

In addition to being contrary,

Making his entourage wary.

He’s lucky the sun went away,

Changing the outlook that day,

“I’m a god”, Kerry did say,

Fooling them was child’s play.

He told them he might give them light,

Ending the mysterious night,

To end the poor cannibal’s plight,

And improve their diminished sight.

After he used his quick wit,

They took him off of the spit,

Away from the burning pit,

To Kerry’s sole benefit.

After John’s status increased,

They gave him a wonderful feast,

Perhaps giving him roasted beast,

And soon after old John was released.

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


astrology

Here we are once again with a new variety of predictions for your dining, dancing, and listening pleasure.

The Celestial Sphere has portioned out just enough horror to make your lives slightly unbearable, but perhaps a little laughable.

Sorry, but we just bring you the facts, straight from the freshest charts available, right to your table for your weekly consumption.

As they say, (whoever they are), “All is fair in love and astrology”.

Enjoy…

Aries… Pluto is in its seventh house getting rid of a flea problem. In the future, you will be fined by the Library of Congress, or an actual congressman, for an overdue book.

Taurus… Uranus is on the cusp of Taurus now, but wants to be in opposition. In the distant future, you will either flagellate or fluctuate. Either way you are in for a rough ride.

Gemini… Saturn is in its seventh house replacing some windowpanes after a meteor shower. In the future, you will seal the deal when you sell seven seals to someone named Lucille.

Cancer… The Moon is in Cancer now and feels a bit uncomfortable about it. In the not too distant future, you will fall in love with either a carrier pigeon, or some carrion. Either way it will be a smelly situation.

Leo… The Sun is in its fifth house polishing the silver. Sometime in the future, you will finally get your ducks in line, and then someone will cut in front of them ruining the moment.

Virgo… Mercury is in its seventh house talking to an interior decorator. Not too long from now, you will find true happiness renting out jowls for a living.

Libra… Saturn is in Libra now and is anxious to leave for some unknown reason. Watch out for those pesky blue lights. Sometime in the future, you will purchase one of those personalized license plates. You will mistakenly order it with the letters, “IMDRUNK” on it.

Scorpio… Neptune is descending into its third house now. It doesn’t know that it forgot the house key. Get ready for some elbow pain. In the future, you will have the urge to salute all trees, and shrubs.

Sagittarius… Venus is trine with Sagittarius at this time. In the future, you will become famous for your ability to make Cumquats squat.

Capricorn… The Earth is square with Capricorn at this time and approaching trine. In the future, you will have the urge to fertilize your ear buds, or Dennis Miller.

Aquarius… Jupiter is aligned with Mars now and loves it. In the future, you will have the urge to enroll your old stretch pants in a yoga class.

Pisces… Mars is aligned with Jupiter at this time. In the not too distant future, you will make your bulky, knit sweater go on a diet.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


Man Visiting Hometown Amazed To Find All His Childhood Insecurities Still There

Childhoood home

MANSFIELD, OH—

While walking through his old neighborhood, Mansfield, OH, native Peter Grogan, 37, was reportedly surprised Thursday to find that each and every one of his childhood insecurities remains in his hometown.

“I was heading down Marion Avenue, where Jeff Bilderman used to pick on me every day, and noticed that my old anxieties, fears, and constant sense of shame are all still here,” Grogan told reporters, marveling that the dozens of uncertainties that plagued him throughout his adolescent and teenage years were still thriving exactly where he left them.

“I haven’t been back for long, but it doesn’t seem like my timidity and self-doubt have changed even a bit. And it looks like my feelings of inadequacy are still going strong, judging by the fears of rejection that came flooding back when I walked past my old high school. It’s all exactly the same as it was almost 20 years ago.”

Grogan added that the one difference he could identify was that walking through his hometown now fills him with newly established insecurities regarding his financial situation, relationship with his parents, and own impending mortality.

Found @: http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-visiting-hometown-amazed-to-find-all-his-child,36955/

Hmmm…

Peter traveled back to his past,

To a place where his fears amassed,

His memories flooded him fast.

It is something that’s hard to grasp,

 

The man thought of Jeff, who was bad,

He picked on Pete, making him sad,

And often times making him mad,

Jeff’s gone now but Peter’s not glad.

 

Peter’s still filled with anxiety,

After life in that society,

Which lacked any real piety,

But, was fill with impropriety.

 

Peter’s still quite insecure,

A state he shouldn’t endure,

He really should search for a cure,

Now that he is much more mature.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


Ron:

Here’s a reblog of a test of your observation skills. It’s very funny when you see the answers. Thanks, myzencity.

Originally posted on my zen city:

Pay close attention to each scene

Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss.

But … Before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I shall let you observe them on your own.

Couple 1

1

Couple 2
2

Couple 3

3

All right ………. Now that you’ve had time to quietly observe the images .

* in the first photograph, you might have noticed that the lady has one finger too many on her left hand,
* in the second photograph, a phantom arm is floating behind,
* and in the third photograph, the man has only one ear.

The campaign attained its purpose.

It proved that food debris on your teeth draws more attention than any physical defect does.

although i wish i could take credit for this, it is one of those chain e-mails circulating around the universe that’s just too interesting not to…

View original 17 more words


Apple Employee

Apple Employee Fired For Thinking Different

CUPERTINO, CA—

Brent Barlow, 27, a software analyst and beta-tester at Apple Computer headquarters in Cupertino, was fired Monday for “thinking a little too different.”

Apple spokespersons said the firing was necessary because Barlow “consistently failed to adhere to the normal standards of conduct and daily routines expected of employees of Apple Computer.”

Among the floutings of convention cited in Barlow’s Apple employee file: developing a pulley system to store his mountain bike above his workstation, listening to Bob Dylan on his headphones while testing software, and taking barefoot walks around the Apple campus to “feel more connected to the creative energy of others.”

“It’s okay to think outside the box,” said Avie Tevanian, Apple senior vice-president of software engineering. “In fact, we very much encourage that sort of thing here at Apple. But in Mr. Barlow’s case, he went just a bit too far.”

Barlow was first written up in September 1996, when he was cited for “unprofessional and inappropriate personal modifications to his workspace.” In addition to taped-up pictures of Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein and R. Buckminster Fuller, Barlow painted a large red question mark on the side of his monitor, scanned and displayed a non-approved desktop screen image of Jim Henson, and replaced his computer’s trademarked Apple system beep with a snippet of the John Lennon song “Imagine.”

“I like to explore problems from unusual angles,” said the ponytailed Barlow, cleaning out the desk he has occupied since joining Apple in 1995. “And being in a free-form environment of my own creation really helps me get in the right frame of mind.”

Barlow’s most recent formal write-up came last Thursday, when his team supervisor caught him doing a headstand.

“I was stuck on this bug I discovered in the new Mac OS X system software that Apple’s developing. No matter what I tried, nothing worked,” Barlow said. “So I thought to myself, what I need to do is turn my whole approach to this problem upside-down. And what better way to do that than by standing on your head?”

In an effort to prevent such incidents of “excessive iconoclasm” in the future, Apple has developed a manual outlining the company’s rules and regulations regarding individualism. Permitted will be such unorthodox activities as removing shoes when seated or within four feet of a desk; whistling when given prior written permission from a direct supervisor; and kicking puddles, provided the kicking is conducted during one’s lunch hour and the puddle is one of the 35 on the Apple campus specifically designated for such a purpose. Prohibited will be such “gratuitously idiosyncratic” behaviors as singing out loud, flying kites and catching butterflies.

“Of course, we want our employees to be individuals and ‘do their own thing,’ so to speak,” Apple director of corporate communications Michael Landau said. “But Mr. Barlow’s behavior consistently crossed the line. If he wants to think that different, he can do it on his own time.”

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-employee-fired-for-thinking-different,773/

Hmmm…

A man got fired for thinking,

Not for on the job drinking,

Or chauvinistic winking,

His heart is certainly sinking.

 

His thinking wasn’t the same,

He had only himself to blame,

He wasn’t too good at their game,

His firing is quite a shame.

 

He had his own frame of mind,

While working the daily grind,

Uniqueness is what he refined,

He is surely one of a kind.

 

He did things all on his own,

He wasn’t an Apple Corp. clone,

He’d stand on his head all alone,

Causing his bosses to groan.

 

His thinking just didn’t fit in,

Like hanging his two wheeled Schwinn,

Above his desk; oh what a sin,

Wearing his bosses’ nerves thin.

 

Though Barlow had lots of grit,

To them he was just a misfit,

It’s something he might admit,

But now he is going to split.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


astrology

All righty, boys and girls.

It’s time again for another week’s predictions from the world’s best team of prognosticators since Punxsutawney Phil.

We hope you can cope with the Celestial Sphere’s offerings this week.

They range from Clydesdales to Catalina.

So saddle up and go for it.

Enjoy…if you can…

Aries… The sun will be sending out another solar flare in the near future, and hopes it has enough postage. One day you will be very glad to have a scouring pad. Then you will be sad and subsequently mad.

Taurus…The Moon is dancing in three quarter time now. In the future, a bull on a bulldozer will bully you.

Gemini… Venus is in its fourth house having the carpet replaced with tile. Get some new jodfers. In the future, you are going to meet someone named Clydesdale about a horse.

Cancer… Neptune is trine with Cancer at the moment. In the future, you will send your brain on a plane to Maine, causing you great pain, like listening to Dennis Miller’s radio show.

Leo… The Earth is petitioning the Solar Court to go retrograde in spite of the repercussions that will result. In the future, you will have the urge to kidnap a Babinski reflex and hold it for ransom.

Virgo… Saturn is having a ring job done again. It’s going to cost it a small fortune. Someday in the future, you will get nuzzled by a sheep, in your sleep while you weep.

Libra… Uranus is racing to be on the cusp of Libra, but is falling behind. Your enemies are planning to project you onto a movie screen like a loaded projectile.

Scorpio… Mars is in its seventh house cleaning up after the Mars Rover ran into it. Someday, you will meet someone named Edwina on an island called Catalina.

Sagittarius… Jupiter is attempting to go retrograde, but the car won’t start and it’s getting late. Someday, you will have the urge to plug your finger into a wall outlet in order to take a power nap.

Capricorn… Venus is in its third house meeting with the Solar Police after a break-in. In the not too distant future, you will gain notoriety by insisting that that in the constellation, Orion, he should be wearing suspenders rather than a belt.

Aquarius… Pluto is busy chewing on a rawhide bone now. In the future, you will lobby to have the name of “YouTube” changed to the more modern name of, “YouComputerchip”.

Pisces… Mercury is descending now into a massive funk. In the future, you will fight with someone named Alfredo over some pasta sauce.

And remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


More misery for diesel drivers

 

exhaustpipe

 

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/road-and-rail-transport/11009290/More-misery-for-diesel-drivers.html

 

According to The Telegraph, a crackdown begins on drivers who leave engines running, as council officials say they will target diesel vehicles.

Diesel drivers face further penalties due to a crackdown on vehicles left idling outside school gates and on shopping runs as part of attempts to meet European environmental targets.

 

Islington Council last week announced it is to clamp down on drivers who leave their engines running in stationary vehicles, with on the spot fines for those deemed to be causing unnecessary pollution.

 

It is believed to be the first council in England to launch a concerted campaign against the practice, with officials claiming they will target buses, lorries and diesel cars in particular.

 

Other London councils are believed to be considering a similar tough approach to idling, while Dudley Council in the West Midlands has been examining how to tackle the problem of parents leaving engines running outside schools.

 

Under the clampdown announced by Islington Council, drivers who refuse to turn off their engines while waiting could be fined £20, which would rise to £40 if it is not paid promptly.

 

The measures are the latest blow for drivers of diesel cars after Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, announced that they will face paying an extra £10 to enter central London from 2020 under plans for a new “ultra-low emission zone”.

 

Matthew Jaffa of the Federation of Small Businesses said on Sunday that the new charge would drive small firms out of the capital and called for a “root and branch” review of how the congestion charge is calculated.

 

“This is an attack on business,” he said. “If we want to be open for business, this sends the wrong message in that respect.”

 

A number of councils across the UK are considering similar measures as they attempt to meet European clean air targets, with almost 20 cities currently forecast to continue exceeding safe levels of nitrogen dioxide pollution until after 2020.

Motoring groups have accused the government of “betraying” drivers who have until now been given tax incentives to choose diesel vehicles over petrol ones, which contribute more to global warming.

 

But although diesel emits less carbon dioxide, it gives off more nitrogen dioxide which causes local pollution and has been linked to thousands of premature deaths every year in the UK.

 

Councils gained the power to issue £20 spot fines for idling under the Road Traffic Regulations 2002, rising to £40 if left unpaid, but until now the rule has not been widely enforced. Camden Council launched a crackdown on buses which flout the rules in 2008, but did not target motorists.

 

Islington Council has now warned that fines will be issued to any drivers who refuse to turn off an engine in a stationary vehicle which is running unnecessarily when asked to do so.

 

This could include buses and taxis idling on stands, or motorists who leave their car running by the side of the road, but not “common sense” situations such as vehicles which are stopped in a traffic jam.

 

Cllr Claudia Webbe, Islington Council’s executive member for environment, said, “We are committed to improving air quality in Islington which is why we are clamping down on idling buses, lorries and diesel cars.”

 

But Brandon Lewis, the Communities Minister, warned that Islington’s council’s approach could drive people away from high streets, describing the spot fines as a way to “tax drivers by stealth”.

 

“This is systematic of a clipboard-wielding culture in many town halls where every response to a policy challenge involves a new tax or a fine on local residents,” he said.

 

Other councils are likely to follow suit, with the Chair of London Councils’ Transport and Environment Committee, which represents the 32 London boroughs, writing to the Environment Secretary last year calling for more action to improve air quality in the capital.

 

Among the measures they called for were tougher action against idling, including a “stronger deterrent” of £130 spot fines, as well as higher taxes for diesel drivers.

 

 

Hmmm…

Diesels are now under fire,

Like lorries, and taxis for hire,

The situation is dire,

For every new London car buyer.

 

It is a pollution concern,

Diesel is bad when it’s burned,

Pollution is something they spurn,

An environmental concern.

 

A 130 pound fine,

For idling isn’t so fine,

And taxes that aren’t benign,

Is far from being sublime.

 

What’s a diesel car driver to do,

When fines and high taxes accrue,

Except to start sing the blues,

And have a Hopshackle or two.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

Big-Bigger-Best?


Coca Cola Lrg

Coca-Cola Introduces New 30-Liter Size

 ATLANTA—

The Coca-Cola Corporation held a press conference yesterday to announce that its soft drinks will soon be available exclusively in 30-liter plastic bottles. According to company spokespeople, Coke’s decision to sell its product in what many consider to be overly large containers is not based on a specific study or survey of consumer demands, but rather on the company’s desire to make a resounding display of its corporate might.

Several major soft-drink companies attempted to improve on the standard two-liter size bottle by introducing a three-liter size in 1985, but the new size failed because of difficulties with storage and carbonation loss.

“The three-liter didn’t fail because it was too big, but because it was not big enough,” Coca-Cola CEO Vic Hertner said. “With our new 30-liter size, that won’t be a problem. Two liters is nothing. I could urinate two liters for you right now. But 30 liters? That’s untouchable.”

The new plastic bottle is nearly four feet tall, and weighs 274 pounds when filled with Coke. In development tests, it took an average of three men to lift the new bottle. The product will fit in an average refrigerator, but only when all other products and shelving have been removed. Most inconvenient of all, the new Coke will go flat if not drunk within 17 minutes, even if it is promptly recapped. The Coca-Cola Corporation does not see these factors as drawbacks.

“By requiring three men to lift the bottle, our new product will encourage a sense of community,” Hertner said. “The popular image of the lonely soda drinker wasting his life away in solitude will no longer be relevant, because anyone wanting to drink the new Coke will need two buddies to get the soda home, and at least 10 buddies to drink it all. The quick loss of carbonation might lead to tiny problems, but what are people going to do? Stop drinking Coke? I think not.”

Sociologists see Coke’s plan to manufacture the 30-liter bottle as the logical next step. “It makes sense,” Stanford Professor Edmund Tillerton said. “Americans like big things. Big sky, big cars, big stereo speakers, big dicks and big TV sets. It would follow that we would like big bottles of Coke. We like things to be larger than life, and that’s what the new Coke size is.”

Coke stressed that the new 30-liter bottle would not be merely a new size option, but will soon be the only size option. “We’re phasing out the smaller cans and bottles, as well as two-liter sizes,” Hertner said. “We’re confident that people will take to the new 30-liter size. Besides, they won’t have a choice. We own Minute Maid as well. Soon, all orange juice will only be available in 30-liter sizes. Fruitopia as well. We will buy controlling stock in every beverage company and force them to follow suit. We are very confident. Did I mention that we own a small nation? If the people of this country don’t like the newly sized product, we’ll simply declare war. We will bury you.”

Consumers are eager to sample the new size. “I like Coke a lot, so it would follow that I would like a lot of Coke,” Linda Jillerman of Cincinnati said. “For the last 13 years, I’ve been working on a mechanism to funnel Coke into larger containers. I had to quit my job to do this, but it was worth it. Now, with the new size, Coke does all the work! I’ll be able to get my old job back!”

The new size is ready for the public, and the public is ready for it. After considering “Coka-Munga” and “The Shitload,” executives settled on “Family Size” as the product’s official name.

An extensive promotional campaign for the new size is also in the works. The Coca-Cola company is considering exhuming the corpse of wrestling legend Andre The Giant for use as the product’s spokesman. If Andre is chosen, Coca-Cola will reanimate him in the same laboratories where the Coca-Cola head executives were cloned. “Ve velcome zees challenge,” head scientist Günther Brauerhauer said.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/cocacola-introduces-new-30liter-size,1696/

 

Hmmm…

A thirty-liter coke is a lot,

But Coke is taking a shot,

That many of them will be bought,

And even more will be sought.

 

It’s a rather gigantic size,

Is buying it considered wise?

Is it something you’d want to try?

The question of size herein lies.

 

It takes three persons to carry,

When opened you shouldn’t tarry,

It fizzles out in a hurry,

Time’s short so you better scurry.

 

It will take a lot of folks,

To drink this gigantic coke,

Will buying it make you go broke?

Is Coke merely making a joke?

 

It may be Coke’s only container,

Making HUGE a real no brainer,

Can Coke make it any plainer,

It wants a HUGE profit gainer.

 

Coke wants a HUGE spokesman who’s dead,

It’s something that makes me feel dread,

Can’t they use a live person instead?

Why use someone who might lose their head?

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


astrology

 

Here we are again, dear friends.

We are anxious to see what the future holds for us.

Once again, we delve into the unpredictability of the orbs above.

Twelve new and unique prognostications have been readied after studying the charts, and rolling the dice.

Well, that’s not exactly right. First we roll the dice, then we scan the charts.

In any case, we hope you enjoy this week’s post.

Until next time, please endure…

 

Aries… Mercury is in hot water after an arrest for too fast an orbit. There’s an emotional rollercoaster in store for you. One day you will be very glad to have a scouring pad. Shortly after, you will be sad and subsequently mad after you’ve been had.

Taurus…Saturn is rising now after a short nap. Hmmm…this could hurt, a lot. Be extra cautious now. Your enemies are planning to project you onto a movie screen like a projectile.

Gemini… Mars is in retrograde at this time. Get your saddle polished. In the future, you are going to meet someone named Clydesdale about a horse.

Cancer… Neptune is in its fifth house fixing a leaky pipe. Too bad for you. One day in the future, after listening to Dennis Miller, you will send your brain on a plane to Maine, causing you great pain, with nothing to gain.

Leo… The Sun is square with Leo at this moment in time. You’re a profound thinker. In the future you will nearly go insane after years of pondering the question, “If silence is golden, what is sound?”

Virgo… The Moon is approaching madness now. So will you. In the not too distant future, you will have the overwhelming urge to kidnap a Babinski reflex and hold it for ransom.

Libra…Venus is trine with Libra, and on its cusp. In a future year, you will fight with someone named Alfredo over some sauce for your pasta. It will get messy.

Scorpio…Pluto is descending beneath its third house by digging a hole. Start saving your money now. In the not too distant future, you will be heavily fined by the Library of Congress for an overdue book.

Sagittarius…The Earth is trine with Sagittarius now. Sometime in the future, you will either flagellate or fluctuate. In either case, it will cause you much discomfort.

Capricorn…Uranus is suffering from a sinus infection now. It is very irritable. In the future, you will convince yourself that you can lose weight on an all lice diet. It could get hairy.

Aquarius…Jupiter is aligned with Mars at this time after many years of being misaligned. In the future, you will finally get your ducks in line. Then some idiot will cut in front of them and ruin the moment.

Pisces… Mars is on the cusp of Pisces at this time and is anxious to be adjacent. Sometime in the future, you will lobby to have the name of YouTube changed to the more modern moniker, YouComputerchip.

And… remember what Weird Al says about astrology in his song, “Your Horoscope For Today”:

“Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.”

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved


 

 

Homeless man

 

Homeless Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Parents

 

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—

 

With a long-planned weekend visit from his parents looming closer, local homeless man David Ruffner told reporters Friday he has been scrambling to come up with things to do with his mother and father during their stay.

“I don’t know. I guess I can show them my spot under the bridge here, but that’s only going to kill an hour at most,” said Ruffner, 38, speaking loudly to make himself heard above the din of a train passing overhead.

“And of course I’ll give them a tour of the park where I sleep when the weather’s nice, and direct them toward a discreet place to defecate, but after that I’m gonna be a pretty boring host.”

Sighing in apparent resignation, Ruffner confirmed he would probably end up walking around the downtown area with his parents and maybe grabbing dinner from a restaurant dumpster.

Found @ http://www.theonion.com/articles/homeless-man-has-no-idea-what-to-do-with-visiting,29486/

 

Hmmm…

There is a man without a home,

Among the cold streets he does roam,

Not sure if he owns any phone,

He worries if his folks will groan.

 

They don’t know of his situation,

Where his meals are always rationed,

Like many folks across the nation.

Will it cause them aggravation?

 

What will he do with his folks,

Tell them some sad homeless jokes,

While his campfire he does stoke,

With apprehensive poker strokes?

 

There isn’t much for them to see,

A railway bridge, perhaps some trees,

Or maybe the spot where he pees,

If his parents do agree.

 

Perhaps he’ll be a boring host,

Who cannot offer them a roast,

Or even a slice of morning toast,

Nor drinks to raise and make a toast.

 

He’ll grab dinner from out the trash,

Then he will make a rapid dash,

To be gone in a silent flash,

Since he hasn’t got any cash.

 

That’s the life he lives today,

He has no home where he can stay,

Nor job which can provide some pay,

The future is not bright; it’s gray.

 

© 2014 Ronald J. Yarosh

All rights reserved

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